I am Hopeless!!!

birdee · April 11, 2005

I have been feeling so discourage. I read a post a long time ago about not being so special.....the point of the post was to not think negatively about the band. That no one out there is special enough for the band not to work. Some of you all that have been around a while may remember it. Any how, here lately I have SUCKED at being banded. I have not been doing well at all. I am still on my first 20oz of Water. It's now almost 3:00. I OVERATE at lunch and cheated by drinking while eating......I just don't and can't understand my behavior. I am 40 pounds from goal. You would think that would be motivation enough but it's not.

I am restricted just about to the max. I am at 3.8 CC's in a 4.0CC band. A lot of people may not think that being that restricted is healthy, but this is how I have to be in order to have self control with my eating.

I joined a gym not to long ago, I haven't been in 3 weeks. I want to go, I have the desire but things just get in the way, kids, work, etc....

My Husband has decided to "diet" and that in itself is causing me A LOT of grief. I know in the long run it will help me, but that's why I got banded, to be able to eat what I want, just in smaller portions. Since I am the primary cook, shopper, etc. The stress of the "diet" is going to fall on me. I am trying very hard not to be negative about the whole thing, but IT SUCKS to have to keep up with the portions, the types of food, the preparation. I have to be supportive. He was supportive when I got banded. Sometimes I just wish he would get banded, but then on the down side if both of us were banded, it would be a very bad example for our children. They would have two weird eating parents that had to drown everything in Condiments just to be able to eat.

Our ultimate goal is to go to the gym together, but I really don't want to go with him. He is insanely jealous, yet has a wondering eye and I just don't want to add that type of tension to a work out. Plus I NEED to be supportive.

I hate to be a whiner, but I am not a bandster that has shared my procedure with many, so any input you all have would be great!

La_madam · April 11, 2005

First of all you are not hopeless, you are successful. 35 lbs is fantastic especially since your starting weight was under 200 lbs. That being said, since you only had 75 lbs to lose and started at a much lower weight, those last 40 lbs make take a little longer and a little more effort. I wish I had 175 starting wieght

What does your daily intake of food look like, can you break it down for us so we can see exactly it is you eat in a day?

Are you eating your porteins first? Do you drink with meals often? Do you drink any liquid calories? How is you carb & sugar intake? For me Carbs and Sugar kill any effort I put forth, I am doomed if I have any carbs or sugar in the morning for that day.

I agree with you when working out you need to be in a possitve supportive environment, so of you feel uncomfortable working out with him it may not be in your best interest to do that. I also agree with the diet thing falling on your shoulders, that is why us bandsters got the band, so we no longer have to weigh our foods, measue our portions, count points or buy certain foods. Have you tried talking to him about how you are feeling?

Let us know what you are eating and how much, Iam sure with all of us here we can offer you some good advice once we see how & what you are eating.

None of us are perfect. We all have our bad days and feel discouraged, when I have a day like that, I just tell myself tomorrow is a new day and a new start, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt but I keep trekking along one day at a time. You can do this!

babsyintx · April 11, 2005

Hi Birdee,

Keep your chin up! I have been feeling the way you have for a few months now. I am not being as compliant as I should be and I still have weight to lose. Sometimes the journey takes so long that you want to give up. But you shouldnt because you can do this. Take it day by day and you will get there.

Babs in TX

birdee · April 12, 2005

Thanks Guys! I really appreciate it...

LA Madam-My original start weight was 235. I am currently at 175-180. I guess I need to change my ticker :0) My eating is so inconsistent. This morning so far I have had. 2 bites of yogurt and 1/2 cup of coffee. lunch, not sure. I have a BIG bottle of disani on my desk. I am waiting on it to get room temp. I don't care for cold Water. Weird I know! I think I am going to start tracking what I am eating so I can see where my down falls are. I say that quite often, and by the second day I have forgotten. I don't do a great job taking care of myself.... I am going to try and do better.

BASBYINTX-

I know I need to take it day by day, but when I compare my self to others, I feel like a failure!

Thanks again. I appreciate it!

Birdee

Iluvharleys · April 12, 2005

You have done a great job, please don't put yourself down! Everyone loses at a different pace, so it is hard not to compare our losses with someone elses. I definately try not to compare mine, I would really be depressed as I have stayed at the same weight for 2 months now. I know I have lost inches though during that time. Hang in there, you will do it! It is harder to lose when you started out at a lower weight, but you can and will do it!

donali · April 12, 2005

You are over half way there!!! You are doing great!!

Having other people in the household does make it challenging. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em... Just kidding...

Can you turn around your frustration with your husband's diet to be a positive? Instead of thinking of all the ways it is irritating you, think of all the positive things about it - like it's a reminder that you have a husband you love that you can care for, and every little chore is a way of showing him how deeply you care for him. Every little effort made on his behalf is like a kiss, a caress.

If you can't turn it around, perhaps you can suggest to him to be more participatory. HE makes the shopping list of the stuff HE wants, HE goes with you, HE does the chopping and measuring of his stuff, HE does the counting. If you offer to cook it I think that's supportive enough.

Oh, and did I mention - YOU'RE OVER HALF-WAY THERE!!!! :banana

tmarie · April 12, 2005

[What is you are compliant and still can't lose weight? What then?

Keep your chin up! I have been feeling the way you have for a few months now. I am not being as compliant as I should be and I still have weight to lose. Sometimes the journey takes so long that you want to give up. But you shouldnt because you can do this. Take it day by day and you will get there.

Babs in TX

donali · April 12, 2005

What if you are compliant and still can't lose weight? What then?

If you are feeling like you are being compliant and still can't lose weight, then you need to really look at everything you are doing to find out what is going wrong. Log your intake - EVERY single mouthful!! - at www.fitday.com for two weeks doing your NORMAL routine. Log your exercise, note your medications.

After your two weeks review the results. What kinds of foods are you eating? Are you meeting your nutritional goals? Are you eating too much? Are you eating too little?

How close to goal are you? The weight comes off more quickly the further from goal you are, and slows down the closer you get to goal.

It is important that you are eating enough, particularly if you are genuinely exercising regularly and relatively intensely.

Does your normal intake tend to be on the refined carb/high fat side? Try substituting less refined carbs and lean Proteins for those refined carbs.

If it doesn't look like there's anything wrong with your intake, shake up your exercise routine. Interval training really helps - alternate your workout with low intensity/high intensity activities. If you usually walk, ride your bike. If you usually bike try walking. Add arm movements, use resistance, change your route to include hills.

Are you on a normal plateau? The body likes to rest occasionaly. Make sure you keep up with measurements, too.

If your intake/activity level is already optimum, and you're not on a plateau (allow two months!), it's time to review your medications and have some bloodwork done to rule out biological causes.

Good luck, and if you want more personalized help we're all willing to review and analyze your intake/activity and offer opinions/advice on how to better achieve your goals.