Would you get another fill the week before your honeymoon?

[bandster_1007 1]

Ok, i have had a rough past few months and a lot has happened. first in february i finally reached my "almost" sweet spot, and i dropped 30 lbs. in a month. then i found out i was pregnant at the beginning of March and i had a 2 cc unfill (i was at 6.2 cc's down to 4.2 cc's). Then i married end of march to boyfriend that i've had forever (have a 7 year old together). we didn't go on the honey moon because i didn't have the time off to take. then the monday after our wedding, we found out that the embryo i was carrying was dead, and it took me 3 weeks to finish a natual miscarriage (well enough to go back to work, i'm still not finished). so then i return to work mid april and find out that my position at work was taken from me due to absences over the miscarriage, and with that i'm losing pay of about $400 a month (bonuses). now i'm feeling better and planning a honeymoon, short one, for memorial day weekend.

well, i just got refilled last week. they filled me to 8.2 cc's, then i drank a strawberry slush and the seeds blocked me off, so they unfilled me back down to 7.2 cc's. ok, so now i can eat more than i need to be able to eat, but i could lose if i was following the rules.

so, i have another fill scheduled for 5/14 to hurry up and get me "back on track" but we are taking our honeymoon 5/23-5/26.

we're staying in a honeymoon cottage that brings homeade Breakfast and dessert to your cottage daily. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO EAT BREAKFAST. which i can now but not when i am where i need to be.

so, if you were faced with this decision, would you get the fill 5/14 or the week after you got back?

i feel like not getting the fill is kind of self sabatoging. i do not want to be able to pig out, but i do want to be able to eat, and when i am at the correct fill, i cannot have bread and a lot of other things.

[luvinke 0]

Let me start off by telling you I'm sorry for your lost. As for your job because of the miscarriage you should have been covered by FMLA which is the Family Medical Leave Act which requires your job to hold your position for upto 12 weeks when you complete the necessary paperwork that you can obtain from your Human Resources Department so what they have done is illegal. This is a Law passed by Congress and everything so you need to check that out.

As for the fill, If it were me I would go ahead and get my fill before I go on my honeymoon if I needed it. We should not get in the practice of eating around the band as that will defeat the purpose of it's intended use. If you are able to go for the fill, then do so as soon as possible so that you can be done with the liquid and mushy stages that so many of us have to go through after a fill. You should still be able to eat in moderation as this will be the perfect time for you to tell if you are truly able to defeat that head hunger. I like the fact that I can't eat a lot, I enjoy having to have the smaller portions, the whole aspect of the band satisfies me. This will be good practice for you, it will help you learn how to order band happy foods while dinning out. Make sure that you have your WLS Card with you so that you can order off the kids or seniors menu wherever available. You will be fine. Good Luck!

[bandster_1007 1]

thank you for your response. i had good restriction for a while, so i'm pretty versed in ordering the right foods. usually i just eat off of my husband's plate because for me the right fill level consists of me being able to eat about 4 bites..maybe. lol......

i think you are right, i should probably go for the fill.

as for my job, they found a loophole, and took away my position, i still work for the same company with the same hourly pay and benefits, just no bonuses, and a different, busy work job...just scanning files, i was a mortgage loan specialist, and technically i still am, but i'm on temporary change. i was very upset and still am, they said it wasn't punishment, but the moved me to a different office with people i didn't know, they took away my e-mail, they took away my bonuses, and they made me sign a "corrective action" notice. and they made me go from a position with lots of customer contact and deadlines, etc., to a very simple no contact job....no stress either..it's actually kind of nice, but short lived. at first i hated it, which they moved me and did all this within an hour of me coming back to work from my miscarriage, i was still very much not myself and EXTREMELY emotional, i just cried for the first few hours over here.

but, the economy is not the sort right now to be looking for a new job, especially not in the mortgage/banking business. :thumbup:

[mbanja 1]

Sorry for your loss as well. As for the fill, this is a time of celebration. Personally I would not get a fill. I am not saying this to mean a celebrations is for stuffing your face. But you want to be able to eat and not be running to the bathroom to hork up every bite you try to put in your mouth. After being filled too tight, I would not want to be on a honeymoon and that restriction kick in and leave me not able to swall spit and hours away from my fill doctor. Why not wait until you get back? Keep in mind restriction can kick in anywhere from right after you get the fill to up to 4 weeks afterwards. You don't want to be dealing with suprise restrition on your honeymoon. You deserve to enjoy it.

[mss 1]

You have had a really rough few months bandster, my thoughts are with you.

In regards to the fill personally I would hold off until you return. You will be honeymooning once in your life - enjoy the time you will have together. Also...are there doctors nearby in case you need an unfill while on honeymoon? That would also be a deciding factor for me if I was going for another fill.

You mention that you could be losing weight now if you were following the rules, maybe you can focus on making healthier choices with the restriction that you do have at the moment.

Congratulations on your wedding and enjoy your honeymoon.

[aubrie 6]

If losing your job "wasn't punishment", why the "corrective action"? YOU have a miscarriage, and that needs "correcting"? That's not only cruel, it's insulting. What THEY did need "correcting". I would have refused to sign it and it sounds to me like you need a lawyer.

I'm so sorry for your loss. that is a lot of heavy, emotional, life changing stuff to happen all at one time. You have really had a rough ride and the last thing I would do at this point is add to the stress. A fill, especially one that doesn't go well and is too tight, can be stressful. Not to mention painful. You've had enough of that lately. Let your body and soul heal a while before you stress it out again. Get your fill when you get back. You need to totally relax and enjoy and grieve with your new husband. Focus on that right now. One thing at a time. when you return refreshed and healed, then do the fill. You know what to do and what to eat. It won't ruin your weight loss or undo your band to wait until you get back. RELAX. You deserve it. So does your husband. He's been through a lot too. Men just don't express like we do..... Enjoy that long leisurely Breakfast in bed with him. It will also make lifelong memories. Memories you can't get back. Be gentle with yourself and congratulations on your wedding.

[bandster_1007 1]

aubrie...my thoughts exactly regarding the punishment. i'm staying here, because i have to, but all respect is gone, and if another opportunity comes along, i will not hesitate, but i do not feel "up" to searching right now. (for a new job)

i think i am going to wait for the fill afterall, it turns out that this fills is a lot tighter than i thought it was. i called today and talked with the lady at the front desk (all employees have been banded), and she said that i should just be eating bread at every meal, but that i really do not need a fill. well, what do you know, add bread, and i've got perfect restriction. 1/2 piece of pizza is all i could eat, and that adds up to only 100 calories and 10 grams of Protein. AWESOME. but i'm having to retrain myself per se to follow the rules.

funny thing, my husband and i have not had an argument at all (not even the stupid kind) since our wedding, and loss.... but last night, we argued about whether or not i should have a fill..lol... apparantly i was just on the defensive side, because he would say get it, and then don't get it. i just worry about the fact that it is now may and i was banded in october and i have only lost 21 lbs. most of which was lost during the pregnancy because of morning sickness.

oh..yeah..as far as a lawyer, i really do not think i have a legal leg to stand on, because my FMLA papers state that i am not guaranteed my position, but i am guaranteed my pay. the thing is this is like some kind of "probation" where i will be re-evaluated in 60 days..well..then what, they still can't fire me. so i think it is a bunch of bs that it is not a punishment, it is definately a punishment, for i guess deciding to have a natural miscarriage. i don't think they believed that it really took 2 1/2 weeks with true labor pains and horrible horrible other things. if i could go back, i would have had a d&c, but it just so happens i have a doc who doesn't believe in them, and strongly recommended not to have one. well, she has never miscarried herself (the doc), if she had, she probably would recommend one, the physical pain and duration only prolongs the emotional side of things.

but..i'm medicated now, and i just sit in the corner scanning my files, for a very decent hourly pay (dummies are paying me WAY more than a scanner would typically make). then when i get home i'm not all stressed from my day at work, so i enjoy it. so yeah, they did me wrong, but they really did me a favor. i have a stress free job now with the same pay (minus my bonuses', which really hacks me off, that is is $600 missed as of right now). i now know that i really truly did hate my job. lol....

[mss 1]

i just sit in the corner scanning my files, for a very decent hourly pay (dummies are paying me WAY more than a scanner would typically make). then when i get home i'm not all stressed from my day at work, so i enjoy it. so yeah, they did me wrong, but they really did me a favor. i have a stress free job now with the same pay (minus my bonuses', which really hacks me off, that is is $600 missed as of right now). i now know that i really truly did hate my job. lol....

I am so pleased that you are feeling some restriction now. :thumbup:

It sounds like the stress free job is what you need right now and when you feel ready to search for and get a new job I bet your current employer will be kicking themselves at their losing you.

Enjoy your honeymoon.

[juliegeraci 7]

I am really glad you are okay. I had a D&C when I miscarried. Glad you like your new job as well. I am glad you have proper restriction now and will not be getting a fill. Have a nice honeymoon.