Year Plus Blahs

[OH Juli 15]

I have to say that I'm overcome with the blahs about this whole process. I thought it was the winter, then I thought it was resting on my laurals, I thought so many things...

What it's coming down to is that this is a change that is LIFE long. And lives have cycles. I just hope my "kick my own butt into high gear" cycle starts again soon.

Newbies, I'd never imagine me writing like this a year ago. But the fact of the matter is, though I'm not gaining, and I'm losing ever so slowly, (3 pounds a month, maybe) I've lost my mojo.

And if I want to make excuses, I started grad school in January and it's hard...I dunno, if you have some kind words to motivate me share...

I work out regularly, not every day, but most days. I eat food in the appropriate order, Protein, veg and carb most times but there are heavier carb days. There are also high sugar days.

I want this to feel like it did when it was new. Don't people say that about romance too???

[smgallop 1]

Just like romance when it's new... it's exciting and gets you really swept off your feet. Then, romance turns into a long lasting commitement, respect, awesome friendship, partnership and the other person completes you. I'm not talking from experience regarding the band. I've only had mine since April 3rd. However, I think that the band in a year from now won't be as exciting. It's a tool for weight loss. When you've been on a diet a long time it does get boring. Just like marriage, you need date nights and you've got to work at it to keep the marriage healthy and happy. As for the band, I love to cook. I've been trying to keep interesting recipes on hand and trying new ones. That's how I'm keeping it going. Cooking is an art form. It might "spice up" living with the band. Also, have you considered trying a new form of exercise? Right now, I'm just swimming and walking around the block. I hope in a year from now to treat myself to a couples dance class or take karate. Again, I know I'm not talking from experience, but I hope this helps.

[IneedMajorHelp 1]

I'm right there too - just hit a year out - on a long plateau - it's starting to come off again - had another fill - slow and steady wins the race

[maryrose 2]

Hi Juli,

So glad I found this post. I am 1 year out. Had my 1 year check-up Friday. It was actually a month late, due to scheduling with the surgeon.

At my clinic after the initial six months, you dont' have to go back for 6 months. I told the doc Fri. that I think that is too far between weigh-ins and that I need to get on that scale. He said it is different for everyone and seemed a little defensive. He said certainly I can come in more and ask to be weigh-in more often, but I think it was strange that I had to ask.

They are very good there with fills, etc., but I don't know. I felt a little funny, almost kind of "scared" that I have this band now and it's up to me to figure this thing out??

He kind of made me feel like I was asking them to babysit me and my band for the rest of my life.

Am I nuts?

Well, they scheduled me for a phych. eval..lol.

That is not the reason, though, sorry I am rambling here.

I had a bad week last week, 1 year out, and still over-eating and PB'ing when I have a stressful week.

OK, so It's a year out..and I still need support from my friends here.

Sorry for the rambling.

[Victoriana 10]

I could not help but post. I have not even checked in for months. I too have come to a blah spot, its not my first. I doubt it will be my last. We are bound to have seasons with our emotions as well as seasons with our motivations. I have found that there is a rhythm to both and when I hit a low spot on both of those rhythms at the same time, I stall. I has lasted a couple of months once, and lately, a few weeks. This time, I stalled because I needed a slight unfill, due to a bout with pneumonia, and I needed to take some serious antibiotics. I am all better, lungs clear, but I have not had a fill again. I have enjoyed eating things I have not eaten in a long time. I have my fill scheduled, and I am sure I have gained a few pounds, I also celebrated a Th wedding anniversary cruise that was combined with a large family reunion (60) of us! I am not freaking out, I have long since let go of the eleventh commandment that I used to carry over my head, Thou shalt not should on thyself. (say that out loud very carefully, or it could be misunderstood). I will begin losing again, I am looking forward to it, I must stop the sugar stuff, it drains my energy and I know it short circuits weight loss, even if the calories are low. It has something to do with gluten in the muscles and storing or burning fat.

I have lost 120 lbs, I was within 8 lbs of my goal when I took a u turn. Funny huh? Well, I reevaluated my goal and I believe I should really lose about an additional 15 lbs to get my BMI to 26 or 25. That is for optimal health, I am sure my skin will revolt. So I took a little respite, and will begin again, that is the beauty of having a tool like the band that works for you and with you. It is the most kind thing I have ever done for myself. Don't sweat the seasons, be confident that you will kick your own butt in the right time and enjoy your journey. It would be boring if you always had the same ol, same ol. At least you are aware of where you are mentally, and physically, and you are not in oblivion somewhere drowning in glutton-ville. So, thats what I think anyway! (no charge for my silly two cents)!

[Jachut 487]

I've been through this more than once and I've never managed to rekindle quite the mojo I had at the start.

For me, it can be a sign of needing a fill, I may not feel "hungrier" or be eating "more" but the appetite comes back and whilst I'm not consciously aware of it, it undermines every decision. I had a fill last Monday even though I'm at goal - it was tiny 0.1ml, but its really worked. Suddenly I'm not sneakign food between meals and eating to really full again.

But a lifestyle change by its very nature cannot be as huge as going on a diet is. You do have to level out and find something you can live with, and losing the last bit of weight is very hard for that reason.

Can you find something to train for, some external goal that's not weight related to spur you on for a bit?

[OH Juli 15]

Thanks for the kind words, all of you.

I think there's truth in the fact that it's not going to be like it was when it was new. And to look at the good side, there's knowledge I have and mistakes I don't need to make again.

As for training for something, I do have a 105 mile bike ride I'm doing on Saturday, that's been a huge motivator for me but also my excuse for not getting a fill recently. I say, I want to fuel my body for those 6 hours of exercise. But Jahut, I'll call for a fill. I think after the ride, I shouldn't have that excuse. Also, I'm looking at changing gyms. Thanks.

Change what you can and work with the rest, no?

Again, Vic, smagll, T-bird, mary, Jahut, thanks for the gentle nods and understanding. Perspective is a good thing and nice to know one get some by asking others to take a peek.

Juli

[TxChelsey 1]

First of all, congrats on grad school!! I am studying for my GRE as we speak and hope to be in the same place next Fall. Second, and most important, you are not gaining. That is wonderful!! Here is a little peek into my mentality along with some surgeon input. I am "super-obese" and have been struggling with my weight since the age of 5. There have been lots of times in my life when I have felt super motivated and lost weight. Sometimes very large amounts. The motivation can be triggered at any time by a bad social experience, a handsome co-worker, a friend who has started dieting, a TV commercial, whatever hits me. The problem comes when that motivation wears off and I just don't want to do it anymore. I want to eat yummy food and lots of it. During these times the weight just pours back on and finds some friends along the way. When I realize I have just undone everything and then some, the depression sets in and I don't care anymore. So, I am looking at the band as a way to not gain back a ton during the harder times. And we will all have those times. When my motivation returns, I can pick up where I left off and continue the journey. My surgeon also said I would have to do the work to lose and the band should help me avoid gaining. So, when you decide to really get back in the saddle, you will be no worse than when you fell off. I don't even think "falling off" is accurate for you. Sounds like you have just paused to take in some scenery. Your stats rock!! Take care.

Edited May 5, 2008 by TxChelsey

[aubrie 6]

When romance is new, you have stars in your eyes, everything is wonderful, and you can't imagine being disillusioned by your love. You could live off of love and tater pie. Nothing else matters. But reality and life settle in, and you begin to take things for granted. that intense love is still there, but instead of being on the front burner 24/7, it waffles back and forthe as other things take your attention. A career? Children? Sick parents? That's as it should be. But remember, that love is still there. Then by some miracle, something happens that makes you feel that way all over again. It may not last long, but it's recharged. This could be an emergency situation, a long overdue conversation and purging of feelings, a sexy vacation together. Whatever, but the point is, it happens. Maybe it's that way with the band to. Recharge it!! Do something totally different, unexpected, not really like you.... Take ballroom dancing, sign up for a cooking class and learn how to make gourmet bandster meals, be a coach for one of your kids' sports and work out with them, learn something new (besides graduate school stuff) like pottery, photography, oil painting, Eskimo art, organic gardening.... I don't know you at all, but spice it up and dedicate it to your special friendship with your band. Do it with a band theme like "transformation, metamorphisis, etc." It's all dedicated to that purpose. Am I even making any sense at all? Shit, I hope I remember this when I'm a year or two out.... LOL We're all here for you. That to me is a beauty in and of itself. I dont know what I would do without all of you. Here's to a re-empowerment of you and your band. You GO girl!!

[OH Juli 15]

You two Texas girls ROCK!

I called for a fill which won't happen until June 2nd but that's okay. It's in the planner.

I'm going to sign up at a new gym next week. I have something this weekend, but the new gym is a treat of sorts. I've been working out at work in our fantastic fitness center, but there are no classes and no trainers. I want classes and a trainer at this point...so I've decided.

I love the cooking class idea, but there is no time. I will however go back to cooking a new dish once a week or once every other week. It helps that summer is coming and there are more fruits and veggies around.

You all (Y'all for the Texans) are just so great. Thanks.

[MerryHearted 20]

Here's a big hug for you (( Juli ))

I hit mine at about 18 months or so out. Stalled for 9 or 10 months... gained 20 lbs during that time, but I would have gained a whole lot more had I not been banded. Mine was also triggered by a stressful but wonderful life event (adoption of our son, his subsequent surgery).

But I finally did regain momentum in late Feb/early March of this year. So it's possible. My weight is dropping great, I'm starting the Couch to 5k so I can get running again, my new size 16's almost fit (a bit too much of a muffin top for my tastes :thumbup:) and I am really psyched about possibly making it to goal on this wave of motivation.

And if I don't -- motivation will come again, at some point. I think part of my trigger to get going again was the same disgust that got me banded to begin with. I looked in the mirror one day and went "ew!!! I'm still FAT!!". :smile:

What's funny is that with all the smilies we have on here -- tons of scary 'dancing' bananas!! -- there's no regular "hug" smiley -- just a group hug. Hmmm.... :thumbup:

[maryrose 2]

You guys are all doing great!

It is comforting to know that change is the natural order to things and we can get through it!

Juli, thanks for the wonderful post.

YOu are all so wise!

[hungry4help 0]

hi juli... sorry to hear you're have the one year blahs. hell, i'm just two months out and i'm even beginning to feel them. i'm in need of a fill, for sure.

but i too have been having a hard time emotionally accepting this new banded lifestyle. while i appreciate being more conscious about what i'm putting in my body, i just want to feel how normal people feel about food. that is to say, i don't want to obsess about an extra .5 ounces here or there, or feel guilty if i've had 3 rather than 2 bites of carbs. ugh. is this what i signed up for?! i guess it is. maybe making the band work means having to accept having portion sizes on the brain 24/7. maybe an attitude adjustment is just as important as a tweaking with a fill.

sorry to rant. keep on keepin on, juli. i'm impressed that it took you a full year to feel the blahs that i'm already experiencing. yikes! and congrats on the century you're riding this weekend. i'm getting my roadbike overhauled and hope to get back in the saddle again.

[OH Juli 15]

hungry4help

You must check out the bycyling thread on here. We are all a bit batty about it.

I've had blahs before now, but this one has been the hardest to shake. I'll let you know what if feels like to eat like a normal person when I figure it out. I'm not there yet either...I think being obese is a chrnoic illness. There are times when it's managed better than other times, but it will always be something I have to be mindful of.

No one wants to take on and "illness" mentality but really, something's not quite right in my head/body or I'd never have gotten as big as I did. I think it's a positive thing to think of it as something that I can control with out ever having the hope that it will go away that way there are no false expectations.

That sounds depressing, but it's not. It's pragmatic. There are plenty of things in life that give a person joy that are not food related. I'm going to look for my joy in those areas.

Look at me all Rosie Sunshine!

[Jachut 487]

I agree with you entirely on that Juli. Something was broken in my head, the lapband controls it, but as I can tell when restriction wanes, it doesnt fix it. I have just accepted that I do not have normal appetite control and/or stop signals. I need this band.

It is my choice to work it or not, but I dont stress over it. I would have surgery to fix any other part of my body that was broken, so I see this as no different. And its not so hard to live with really, I mean I dont have a chronic painful disease like fibromyalgia, I dont have cancer, I dont have a deformity.

Its not giving up, its being realistic and practical, looking at what you have to do to manage a problem and getting on with it.