Disapproving family...help!

[Aphrodite1984 2]

I am scheduled for surgery in Mexico on May 24th, and my family DOES NOT approve of my decision. I am having my surgery done by Dr. Alberto Aceves who seems to be quite well known and experienced. They do not think that it is safe to go to Mexico for the surgery. Has anyone else faced these problems with family? How do I convince them that the surgery is relatively safe (of course there is the risk of complications)??? Help help HELP!!!!!!!!!!!:confused2:

[princessash2781 0]

Hey Aphrodite!

I was banded on 1/31 in RIchmond VA by Dr Matt Brengman. I come from a family of thin people. My fam was a little surprised when I mentioned the surgery. I went thru all the pre op stuff and didn't even tell them. They, in the end, have been really supportive though, all in all. I think it is hard for people to understand how we feel if they haven't fought weight issues. To them, I think surgery is so extreme.

As for Mexico, I myself wouldn't necessarily want to get banded there, but one of my co workers was banded there last year and is doing really well with it. She was banded, driven to a hotel and told that a nurse would check on her later, the next day she was cut loose. Do you have a Dr that will follow you when you are back here? I know this girl didn't plan ahead for that and she had a problem finding a Dr here to fill her and stuff. You'll do fine, just hang in there.

Ashlee

[kamicola 1]

My husband and I, along with both of my parents are being banded on May 27 and 29 by Dr. Kuri in TJ Mexico. Do not let your family bring you down, this is your body and if you have researched this decision well enough, you know you will be much healthier if you follow all the band rules in the end and you will be around much longer and happier if you get it done. As far as having it done in Mexico.... just stay at the hospital and hotel and everything will be just fine unless you want to venture out. If you do, I would only do it if you have someone with you (which there will be others being banded on the same day) and don't wear any jewerly or flash any money around and don't carry a purse... you will be fine! I have had many friends that were very concerened with us having it in Mexico, but it's not their business and I have researched enough to know I am making the right decison. I wish good luck to you and if you need to chat, email me at kamicola@yahoo.com

Kammi in Everett, WA

banding on 5/27/08

Dr. Kuri - TJ Mexico

[Mellis 0]

I was banded 12/28 in Monterrey by Dr A. Rodriguez. As a nurse, I am embarassed to admit that I recieved better patient care THERE than I ever did in hospitals here-inclcuding the one I worked in! And the care from the Dr was not to be compared--he seemed to genuinely care. And as far as follow-up--I have his email address and his direct cell phone number!

[MaidMarion 1]

I would just tell them it is your life. Any surgery is risky but so is being obese. Tell them you have researched and Dr. Aceves is experienced and has performed many many surgeries on US citizens who have traveled south of the border to save money. Unless your family wants to kick in to cover the difference I don't think there is much they can really say. It isn't like you are going to some back alley to get it done. Show them his website with the photos, that may change their tune.

[Aphrodite1984 2]

Haha....good idea. Maybe I should just suggest they cover the $20,000+ cost of having it done in US!!!

[MacMadame 81]

Tell your family that Dr. Aceves is a better bariatric surgeon than many in the US and that people have chosen to go to him as self-pay rather than have their insurance pay for a lesser surgeon in the US.

There is also an article about the "medical tourism" industry in the LapBand in the News section that has links to lots of groups that can give more information that should set their minds at ease.

[Long2BFree 12]

Don't let you family keep you from having the surgery. Two of my cousins went to Mexico a few years ago to have surgery with Dr. Kuri and had nothing but good things to say.

Perhaps your family is scared because there was a newstory that came out last week that said hospitals in Tijuana were shut down and heavily guarded while drug traffickers were being treated.

Tijuana Hospital Under Guard Following Shootout - Local News Story - KNSD | San Diego

[kamicola 1]

I have heard from many going to Mexico for surgery since these drug wars flared back up in TJ, all say the hospital and hotels have been wonderful and very safe!

Kammi in Everett, WA

[SanDiegoPhotog 0]

I wonder if your family is not being supportive because of the surgery? because of surgery in Mexico? or both?

Because I have to admit . . . my family would KILL me if I had surgery in Mexico. But they would totally be supportive of the surgery in the states (and they are).

This is to no offense to ANYONE who has gone to Mexico for surgeries . . . but I am good friends with a lot of doctors and nurses and cath lab techs and even one Chief of Staff for a couple of hospitals here in San Diego, and, sadly, they get to see the horror stories -- so I hear them, I know about them. Yes, they deter me from having anything done in Mexico. When someone comes back to the US with problems and complications, they often end up in San Diego ERs, because a lot of San Diegans get their surgeries down there.

I will be getting a LOT of plastic surgery next year and it won't be covered by my insurance. I could save thousands of dollars getting it done in Mexico and I really wouldn't have all that far to travel. I'm about 15 minutes from the border and I go to Mexico frequently -- for vacations, for shopping, whatever. But no, I won't have surgery there. And, yes, my family would FLIP.

You can't put a pricetag on your life . . .

But, that's just me. and like I said . . . no offense. But I have to ask . . . if something DOES go horribly, horribly wrong, who are you going to sue? You could try, but there's nothing in the world that will force a Mexican doctor to pay if he loses a lawsuit. I'm just saying . . .

[and I'm sorry if this makes me unpopular on the forum . . . I just had to voice my opinion.]

[tarrn13 1]

aphrodite, tell your family to get over themselves, it's not about them but about you. My mom came with me and we NEVER once felt we were not safe. Sandiegophotog, I appreciate that some people have horror experiences in Mexico, but people have horror experiences here in the US too, do your research on whatever doctor you choose, I was banded by Dr Ortiz in Tijuana, had a fantastic experience there, I chose him since he teaches many doc's how to proform the surgery both mexican and american docs. I personally would rather see the teacher whose done thousands of bands vs the student who hasn't, but that's just me, also as a nurse who works in a hospital, the post op care i received at the clinic in MX was far more attentive than any care I have ever received here in the US for both surgery and ER visits. We are all entitled to our opinions and I am just sharing mine.

Good luck all on your journey,

[KristeyK 8]

I know this isn't exactly comparable to surgery, but I have had a LOT of dental work done down in Mexico and came out of it all JUST fine. Sadly, even with dental insurance it's still about 1/3 of the price I'd have to pay out of pocket. Things down there just don't cost the Dr's and hospitals as much as they do here in the US which explains a LOT of the reasoning for it being so much less expensive.

I wouldn't run to some tiny little town in the middle of nowhere in Mexico to have it done, but major cities and hospitals in Mexico do indeed have the same care we do here in the US. They also realize the value of the almighty American Dollar going down there and don't want to screw up or give you bad care so that word spreads regarding poor care in Mexico. kwim???

[Aphrodite1984 2]

I wonder if your family is not being supportive because of the surgery? because of surgery in Mexico? or both?

Because I have to admit . . . my family would KILL me if I had surgery in Mexico. But they would totally be supportive of the surgery in the states (and they are).

This is to no offense to ANYONE who has gone to Mexico for surgeries . . . but I am good friends with a lot of doctors and nurses and cath lab techs and even one Chief of Staff for a couple of hospitals here in San Diego, and, sadly, they get to see the horror stories -- so I hear them, I know about them. Yes, they deter me from having anything done in Mexico. When someone comes back to the US with problems and complications, they often end up in San Diego ERs, because a lot of San Diegans get their surgeries down there.

I will be getting a LOT of plastic surgery next year and it won't be covered by my insurance. I could save thousands of dollars getting it done in Mexico and I really wouldn't have all that far to travel. I'm about 15 minutes from the border and I go to Mexico frequently -- for vacations, for shopping, whatever. But no, I won't have surgery there. And, yes, my family would FLIP.

You can't put a pricetag on your life . . .

But, that's just me. and like I said . . . no offense. But I have to ask . . . if something DOES go horribly, horribly wrong, who are you going to sue? You could try, but there's nothing in the world that will force a Mexican doctor to pay if he loses a lawsuit. I'm just saying . . .

[and I'm sorry if this makes me unpopular on the forum . . . I just had to voice my opinion.]

Who am I going to sue if things go horribly wrong? No one. I am fully aware of the complications, and I know that its possible that things will not go as planned. These complications are possible whether the surgery is done in the US or Mexico. I would not sue anyone if something goes wrong, because this is a surgery that I have elected to have and I am aware of the complications.

That being said, I think that my family is concerned with both the fact that I am HAVING surgery at all, and also the fact that it is being done in mexico. My BMI is about 38 and they dont feel that I am heavy enough to have WLS. However, I have PCOS and I only have about 4 periods a year (of which are induced by Prometrium). I am only 23 and I want to get married and have a family one day. These things can never happen if i dont take some initiative and make some changes in my life. I just wish that they could understand.

[sugrbear 1]

In the end when everything is said and done, it is your decision, and I don't think your looking for anyones approval, but I do think you may be looking for reassurances since you posted to this site. The cost is always a concern and I know when I researched what Dr I would use for my lap-band I did just that, I researched as much as I could, but my first concern was how qualified he was, what his experience was not just with the lap band, where would he be afterwards, and was his personality right for me. I knew my insurance would not pay so the last thing I considered was the cost. For self pay the cost has come down considerably just in the last year from what I have found. Many of the Dr's now offer package plans which will cover your first full year of visits and fills. When you consider using Mexico often the cost is the first draw. But are your fills included? The reality is you may take 3-4 fills but you may need as many as 8 fills. That is an extra cost you probably have to take care of here in the US somewhere. You have the cost of travel to and from Mexico and any other expenses I may not be aware of. So, is it really cheaper. I did not find any Dr. charging 20,000.00 for lap band in my area and we do have some excellant Dr's here.

I am sure your parents are concerned because they love you and are worried about the risk going into Mexico because there they will feel helpless to help you. Here they have a sense of power to at least try. As a mom and grandmother I can tell you that is so important to us when we love you. I am sure they are also concerned about the risk of lap band because they don't understand it. Take them to a free seminar of a Dr in your area just to help educate them if you can. It may help set their minds at ease.

None of us are trying to talk you out of the surgery, we are of course going to have different opionins about why we would or would not go to Mexico for it.

We all want the best for you. Good luck to you in your journey and I will pray the best for you and peace for your family about this.

[jena 0]

I had already paid my deposit and was ready to do it before I told anyone I was going to Mexico. When I did let my sister know she blew a gasket!

I listened to her concerns and let her know that I understood how she feels, but I had made up my mind and there was no discussing it.

Other people had "that" look on their face (horrified!) but I wasn't asking anyones permission and I guess they sensed that because no one had anything negative to say. Most everyone wants to be sure that I've done my research and I assure them that I did.

I'm going this week to TJ to be banded and I can't wait to go!!

Good luck!

Jena