Disapproving family...help!

[NukeChik 1]

I think the key to this issue is education. People are afraid of what they do not understand. My family was not supportive of my decision initially, but after I took the time to educate them about what lap-band is, why I'm having it done, pros, cons and so on, they came around. Now they couldn't be happier for me. They are always amazed at how I look when they see me again and are always asking me how much I've lost. My dad even asked to see my scars because he was considering it.

There is an unneccesary stigma attached to Mexican surgeries. I have to say that before I joined LBT I would have never considered having surgery in Mexico, but through education (especially by reading posts by users such as WasaBubbleButt), I can't say that if I had it to do over I wouldn't go to Mexico. There are good and bad places in Mexico, the same as in the US. You've just gotta do your research and keep your best interests in mind. As obese people we have "aimed to please" others while not keeping our interests in mind. Do this for YOURSELF. I was banded Jan 7, 2008, best thing I've ever done for MYSELF.

Good Luck, we're all here for you if you need us.

[jnbwilds 0]

Good luck with your surgery - and be patient with your family. When they see the results of the surgery on your health and appearance, they will probably become more supportive. It is understandable that they are worried - bariatric surgery does have risks. But for those of us who have struggled with obesity for a long time, we know that the risks of staying that way are worse.

One quick comment on the Mexico issue. As long as folks research well, I say, go where you want. But honestly, where did you get a local quote for over $20,000?? Holy cow! My surgery center was 1.5 miles from my home and I was self-pay and paid MUCH less than that. I know I paid a few thousand more than the best Mexico rate I've seen, but I felt like it was worth it to have local support, and have my monthly appointments, fills and dietician meetings paid for up front and locally available. Just in case anyone was reading this thread, I didn't want them to assume that band surgery in the US is automatically over 20 grand.

Best to you - here's hoping you recover soon and get GREAT band results!

[Aphrodite1984 2]

I researched 4 different doctors in my area (attended seminars, spoke with office staff, requested information, etc) Since I was asked where I got my figure of $20,000, here goes:

Surgeon fee - $6500

Program fee - $1600

Hospital - $16,450

Anaesthesia - $1600

"The usual uncomplicated LapBand requires an initial payment of $26,150 prior to surgery" (This is taken verbatim from the information packet.)

There is also a note that states that those fees do not cover the cost of pre-op testing such as X-ray, urine analysis, EKG, bloodwork, etc.

[NukeChik 1]

I know there is a thread dedicated to Dr. Kirshenbaum (sp?) in Colorado. Seems like his cash pay price is about 10K. I was self pay in TN/GA area and it was 14K. I wouldn't give up on the US unless you are close to Mexico. There are a lot of places with more competitive pricing. Dr. K has glowing reviews...But if you've already done your research and made up your mind, Good Luck!!

[luvinke 0]

I wish you all the best! Follow your heart, if it says go to Mexico and have your surgery then do just that. Make sure you have somebody to go with you and say a small prayer, I will say one for you too. Everything is going to be just fine so pack your bag and get ready. You've done your homework and nobody is going to love you more than you love yourself so do what makes you feel good. Best of Luck to you all!

[Alex R. 0]

Just make sure that you have an IRONCLAD arrangement in place for aftercare (ie fills).

Some people find that they initially save money by having surgery in Mexico, but then the cost of finding local care completely changed the efficiency of that equation.

[vgerbus 1]

You should be fine having surgery in Mexico. I did it almost two years ago in Monterrey, MX and would certainly go back again if I needed. The first time I did take a friend with me because she could speak Spanish and was my interpreter. I don't even think I needed her until we went out shopping! Most of the nurses didn't speak English, but the patient coordinator should give you a sheet with some common phrases to help you communicate with the nurses. The second time I went back down was for my first fill, by myself, and I went out shopping by myself. Never had a problem, didn't carry a lot of cash, I did take my purse with me, still never had a problem. There are places in Mexico I would never think of going to because of high crimes and such but there are also places in the US that I would never think of going to for the exact same reasons. Don't let anyone here scare you away from having surgery in Mexico and don't let your family scare you away either. Show them the research you have done. Make sure you have an aftercare doctor lined up BEFORE you go to Mexico as many doctors will not give you "fills" or aftercare if you are not their patient, regardless if you went to Mexico or just a different doctor in the US. Only you know if the doctor in Mexico is really who YOU want.

[marineliebe 2]

That being said, I think that my family is concerned with both the fact that I am HAVING surgery at all, and also the fact that it is being done in mexico. My BMI is about 38 and they dont feel that I am heavy enough to have WLS. However, I have PCOS and I only have about 4 periods a year (of which are induced by Prometrium). I am only 23 and I want to get married and have a family one day. These things can never happen if i dont take some initiative and make some changes in my life. I just wish that they could understand.

Hey Aphrodite,

I'm 22 and I think I know a bit about what your going through. My parents were aginst it as well at first. What I had to do was basicly consider both my parents and figure out which one would be MOST receptive to the idea. I figured it was my dad. So, I asked my dad to go to lunch with me and I brought all of my paperwork and information about the surgery with me. I sat him down and told him I wanted him to listen to me, and then we could talk about it. After I presented him with how the surgery worked (not being cut open, but a few small insisions etc.) and how the band not only will help me lose the weight, but keep it off (this is what I have the most difficulty with, keeping the weight off) and I told him how it made me feel to be overweight. That I was having a hard time tieing my shoes, and showering. I am a very private person, so I know it was hard for me to tell him this stuff, but it made him realize why I wanted this done. After our lunch, he went home and did some research on his own (and looked up the doc I wanted to use etc.) and he actually came around. He is such a big supporter of me now, and even came with me to all of my apts. And because he is in favor of it now, he was able to talk with my mom about it, and make her come around. My mom is 5'2'' 130lbs, has been thin all of her life and doesn't know how hard the battle with weight loss is. She thinks she needs to lose abother 10lbs! My dad on the other hand has had some weight issues, so he understands where I am coming from a little better.

I guess what I'm saying, is see if you can talk one of your family members around, I found that once I had one person on board, the others followed once there was more than one person in support and educating them. Educating my dad was key! So, here I am having surgery on the 20th! With both of my parents on board now. The only person who isn't is my grnadma, and she refusses to be educated, shes determinded to hate what she doesn't understand. But she lives in a different state and really has no say over the matter so there you go. :thumbup:

Hope this helps!

Marine

[Great2BThin 5]

OUCH!! $20,000+ seems awfully high priced for lap band surgery. I am self pay as well, I do live in Denver and as a previous poster mentioned there is Dr. Kirschenbaum here that does it for $9900 I believe, there is another Dr. at www.redrocksbariatrics.com that is $9000 and a 3rd at www.coloradobariatrics.com that is $9900 or something. These could be US alternatives to you if that is what you decide. I am going to a different surgeon in Denver, however, and still the price is under $15,000. I'm not saying don't go to Mexico, I haven't even researched it myself so wouldn't even begin to have a valid opinion, but just offered these options as an alternative. Of the 3 mentioned under $10,000 I've only researched one. When I found my dr. I just knew he was the one for me and didn't pursue further. Good luck in your decision. In the end it is just that, your decision, you need to feel comfortable with it and not your family's or anyone else's. Make it, feel good about it, and go on from there.

[Long2BFree 12]

I researched 4 different doctors in my area (attended seminars, spoke with office staff, requested information, etc) Since I was asked where I got my figure of $20,000, here goes:

Surgeon fee - $6500

Program fee - $1600

Hospital - $16,450

Anaesthesia - $1600

"The usual uncomplicated LapBand requires an initial payment of $26,150 prior to surgery" (This is taken verbatim from the information packet.)

There is also a note that states that those fees do not cover the cost of pre-op testing such as X-ray, urine analysis, EKG, bloodwork, etc.

If you can find a doctor that will do the surgery in a in surgical center the costs are considerably less.

[jnbwilds 0]

On the price issue....you can find it much less expensive in the US if you find a Dr. who does the surgery in an outpatient facility. There is no reason you should ever pay over $15,000 in the US. Also, if you are researching in the US - make sure you ask for the "self-pay" or "financing" price. Most surgeons will offer a very different price than they charge insurance companies.

[jennypoo 0]

I went thru the same thing when I made my decison to go to Mexico. I heard the whole issue about rusted knives and dirt floors. I tell you Dr Aceve's office has the cleanest dirt floor I ever seen!!!!

I went to see Dr. Aceves back in Dec 07. My mom went with me.Excellent care no problems and have been back twice since for fills.

Your in good hands,Wonderful Doctor and staff.

If you have any questions feel free to PM me.

Jennifer

[skuzie 0]

hi to everyone,

im 28 and live in australia, your family is important, BUT your health is too! My parents said that they were behind me as long as i did my research, which it sounds like your doing, just remember you need someone to follow you up for the rest of your banded life until we are all old and grey!

we have the same sort of thing here, people go to asia because its cheaper, but not always better.

i wish you the best of luck!

mine only cost me with private health insurance and medicare and anaestic bill was $1600 aussie dollars

sus