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[Shadow08 1]

What do I do? My main support system states they won't be there for the surgery if my insurance will approve it. I am told that " why do something to your body like that...just watch what you eat in lesser portions. You will have to change what you eat anyway so just do it now instead" I could cry. I have been overweight all my life and for once I would like a tool to help me loose weight and keep it off. I want to be able to bend over without loosing my breath, or walk a mile without my hips hurting........someone help!:thumbup:

[Momto1plus1 0]

Shadow,

I'm so sorry. You know you have to just make up your mind that this is what you want and do it. If these people TRUELY care about you then they will be there. Tell them why you want to do this. Tell them that you want and need them to be there, but if they don't feel they can, than this is okay. I'm willing to bet that there is someone who will be there to take you to the hospital. Good luck!!

[kim929 0]

I am so sorry your going thru this. I can understand tho, my parents both told me the same thing when I told them about the surgery. My dh is behind me, I thought all my sisters were, but recently found out only 1 is. I can understand my parents, theres is fear. do you think your support person is feeling the same way? They are in fear of what will happen during surgery, or after you loose weight?

[phyl808 1]

What some people don't realize is that it's not just a matter of eating smaller portions. Smaller portions before my band is still about 4 times the size of my meal now. The band helps me eat smaller portions. At first my husband wasn't for it, but when he went to the lecture with me and understood the whole process he came around. I don't look at it as something that I did to my body, but as something that I did for my body. It was the best thing that I have done for ME. I don't have to use the CPAC machine, have normal blood sugar and don't have to take diabetis medication anymore, got taken off my cholesterol med and soon might get off my high blood pressure meds too. Good luck in your Journey.

[Chrisann 0]

My best friend was pretty crummy before the surgery, so my parents came with me.

Sometimes people have alterior motives for not wanting you to have the surgery. I think its them being selfish.

Try to explain to your support person why you are really doing this, and if you have been struggling your whole life, this person should know that.

If you are in the NYC area, I will be glad to support your decision and go with you on the day of your surgery.

[beanbean 1]

I'm so sorry to hear about what is happening to you. when i was considering getting the band, my sisters who i thought would be the most supportive, were all total against the surgery. I think it was due to fear also not having enough information about the lap band procedure. I'm happy to say they have all since changed their mines and are really supportive. A matter of fact two of them want to fly up to see me through the surgery. The key reason why they changed their minds was because they researched more information about the band on their own and they actually spoke to someone who had it done. Your family may have this fear of the unknown in turn educate them about the surgery. I would suggest using the web for material. Don't be discouraged, after only a week my sisters were on board with me. I'm sure your family will do the same once they get more information. :thumbup:

[Long2BFree 12]

I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this when you are wanting to do this for you. Don't let anyone stop you from doing something that you really want. Mostly like they have fears about the surgery because they don't understand it. Someone posted a very nice email letter that she wrote to her friends and family about why she was having the surgery... maybe you could something like that too.

Hang in there and don't let anyone stop you from following your dream because you regret it later.

[MerryHearted 20]

ITA with the others -- your support person is afraid of something. Afraid of you getting sick or the surgery going wrong, maybe. Afraid you'll regret it. And probably doesn't understand what banding is, or does.

If he/she is thin or not morbidly obese, they probably have no idea that it's not as easy as just deciding to eat less and exercise. That's what it does come down to with the band of course, but it's almost impossible to do it on your own.

If this person is a friend and not your spouse/significant other, you may need to find someone else to support you if you can't get them to come around by the day of surgery. The surgery center you are going to might have a support group available where you can hook up with others going through this.

[rmichel 0]

:thumbup: I am going through the same thing. I've been thinking about having the lapband surgery for 21/2 yrs now and my long time boyfriend tells me "why can't you just reduce your food intake, or excerise more. Your just not trying hard enough, stop being lazy." All my life I've been over weight and he on the other hand has always been slim. I could remember at 8 yrs old trying to lose weight because I was always the fatist person. Now at 28 yr old I'm still struggling with my weight and still wanting something to help me take control over this battle with weight loss. I want to have the lapband and which ever way my luck falls I'm ready to face head on.

No one should make you feel bad about a decison you want to make for yourself. No one knows when you are hurting on the inside or when you are fustrated and angery because you want to lose the weight but you just can't seem to get it wright. Whats good for may not be good for them. So do what you think is best for you.

[Kat817 19]

If possible ask your "main support" to attend a seminar with you at the very least, then I would tell them, that if they still were against the surgery following that, I would respect their wishes to remain out of the loop, if they would respect mine to do what was necessary for my health. In other words---if the seminar did not sway their opinion, then just simply agree to disagree. And look around for some serious support. You might find a support group through your surgeon. There might be someone at work willing to drive you to and from surgery.

Many do this on their own, and quite honestly, this is YOUR body, YOUR health, and YOUR decision. While you can respect the other persons right to an opinion, they ultimately should not dictate to you what you do for yourself.

Those without weight issues, seldom understand. And many with weight issues that they themselves are not ready to face, choose to belittle our choices.

Stand your ground, research the band, decide if it is for YOU---not whether if fits someone elses idea of how to lose weight. If they support doing it another way....let them do it that way.

To each their own. Let your main support lose weight without the aid of the band.....I wish them luck maintaining.

Go to your seminar, and make the choice for YOU!

Kat

[jo282004 0]

I don't know you but I will be there for you. Do this for yourself.

[jo282004 0]

I will be there for you

[betrthnever 107]

Shadow08, if you want to do this you must do it for yourself no matter what. My DH said that he didn't like the fact that I was getting the surgery but never once gave me an ultimatum. I think he knew that I would do what I needed to do for myself and that was to get the band. Even tho he wasn't happy about it he was there for me with the surgery and he's here for me now. BTW, it sounds like this support person won't be around for long w/or w/out the surgery. Are they looking for an excuse to leave?

[devotion 41]

I initially got a lot of flak from some loved ones, and I simply told them "This is what I need to do to save my life. You will either support me or you will be silent."

It worked. Everyone ended up supporting me.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please hang in there and remember to do what is best for you. One suggestion: find some literature or studies about how the failure rate of dieting for obese people is 100% over time (it's out there), and how the lap-band is a tool to help you help yourself lose weight, and how, ultimately, this surgery will save your live and keep you healthy. And then give your loved one this literature. Surely they will support you. If not, set boundaries with them and forbid them from being critical. Be good to yourself.

[serenity55 15]

My best friend said she thought I was "wimping out" because I want to get banded. It turns out that she was afraid, for me and for herself. I guess she thought I'd change once I start losing weight. But now she'sgoing with me to the seminar in a week. I hope your support person will come around. There are lots of wonderful people here who have given great suggestions. good luck to you.

Debbie