Addiction - the real reason behind obesity?

[Maurdan 2]

I feel like I've tried everything to get over it, yet here I am still struggling. And I'm the same way with the 100 calorie packs. I buy the doritos one and just keep eating them. Bleh.

[susansilver 0]

This thread is exactly the support that I am looking for. I have know for a while that I am addicted to food. Even though I was told 100 million times that the band was only a tool, I somehow deluded myself into thinking it would solve all my problems. After 40 lbs down I started to eat around the band when life got extremely stressful. I gained back 15 lbs and of course was even more miserable!

Finally, FINALLY I started seeing a fabulous therapist and working on WHY I am an addict (it could have been drugs or alcohol or any of a myriad of substances). I do alot of reading on the subject as well and I am working hard to nurture that little girl in me who never really gew up. I am 48 years old and often think and feel like an adolescent! Until now I did not realize the effect that losing my parents ( 1 literally, 1 figuratively had on my development) Growing up a little each day, treating myself with love and compassion is beginning to heal those wounds and I find that most days I do not want to abuse food.

Bonus? I have lost those 15 lbs and more, have drastically reduced my insulin and feel more powerful and self confident than I have in years. I will always love food - I love to cook and taste, but I am learning to control using food as a weapon against myself.

Edited May 14, 2008 by susansilver
typo

[Sades 4]

Sorry about your brother mstrina27 it must have been horrible for you. I have lost family members and even though they weren't under those kind of circumstances, it is not easy to live with. :tongue2:

I am definitely a food addict. Even my family knock me because of how much I focus on food. I used to eat till I was stuffed and then complain about it and then 1/2 hour later I'm looking for something else to eat. They all used to look at me astonishment. I became the butt of their jokes because of this. I used to stuff myself until I felt sick and then complain about how sick I feel. Even my nephews and nieces (adult) would say now she's going to complain she's sick and then eat again. I worked out that for me if I felt stuffed and sick then I didn't have to deal with the real emotions, ie, the losses I've experienced in my life from early childhood to now. I was also sexually molested as a child. I have done different things over the years to deal with these emotions but really I haven't been very successful, especially since people keep dying around me. And of course that will continue to happen so I need to find a better way to deal with it. I hope that some day we will all find the answer to this but in the meantime, the band has come into our lives to help us become and stay healthy.

[Mummabear 0]

I don't even know what to type. I never realised just how addicted to food and eating I was until I had the band. Some days I wish I never had the operation so that I could gorge myself the way I used to, that's how addicted I still am. I have no idea what my triggers are because as some of you have already said, I eat when I'm happy, sad, bored, busy - you get the picture. I'm always thinking about what I can eat next, where I'm going to get it from, whether I can be honest about eating it with others or if I should sneak it in, what I'm going to eat after that. I'm totally obsessed. When I get full, I just push and eat some more. Granted, I don't eat as much as I used to, but I still eat way more than I need to or should. I don't know how to deal with this, I don't even know how to get to the place where I care about dealing with it. In my mind I'm already defeated, chalked the band up as one more thing that didn't work. I know this isn't the case, but it's how I'm feeling :tongue2:

[susansilver 0]

MummaBear - what you are going through is what I have recently experienced as well. I did not realize that I was not emtoinally prepared to give up my drug of choice (food), once I got banded. I was so full of self pity that I could not eat a sandwhich (bread, my love) or a large piece of thick steak and feel all the food in my full mouth and then have that sickly stuffed to the gills feeling.... I was in mourning and in my grief turned to my addiction food - only I couldn't do the above so I turned to chocolate, chips, Cookies and ice cream.

It has only been since I started therapy and started to understand my feelings and deal with my past that I am more a peace with myself - i.e. not abusing food.

Don't give up - get help. If you can't do therapy - do self help - read anything and everything you can on addiction and dealing with emotional issues (especially those from your developmental years). You can take these books out of the library for free. You are NOT a failure - your addiction is just very strong at the moment and you are too exhausted to fight it. I understand, I am sure many of us understand, but take that first baby step back. Please.

[abckids 0]

Wow... I don't think many people fully understand the addiction that food is. I mentioned it to my doctor the other day and he just looked like I was giving him an excuse when I really was screaming for help. I know it - he may know it, but didn't say anything.

I joined OA but there isn't a local chapter or group so I have to go to meetings online, which is ok but I think i would be happier in a face to face type thing. So i will make my own as soon as I get more info and commit to it more. I am one week abstinent (from sugar .. ie.. chocolate dove candy, ice cream, pies and cakes and anything else soft and sweet with REAL sugar in it - I still eat yogurt w/ sugar substitute and sugar free popsicles... but I am working to get rid of those too cuz I found I want more sugar even with those non sugar foods). It is hard as hell so far. I had a lick of chocolate pie pudding yesterday - so I guess technically I am starting over again.

SIGH... so frickin hard.

I know my addiction really took it's turn when I was pregnant with my first child. That is when I let it take over. I dropped smoking and drinking and picked up eating.

I know it is still bad because I want to gorge myself with food - and then purge so i can say I got to eat it. I actually thought of a way to do it without ruining my teeth. That tells me I have real issues. I told a good friend about this thought and he told me to just try to work through it because those are not normal people's thoughts. He is very supportive and a good friend. He works with my hubby and is a friend to us both.

I even thought about having the Fluid removed while I go on vacation in a month so I can gorge on food. then I think.. WTF are you thinking?????? SO now I am looking for another avenue for positive reinforcement. So I joined Curves. Hopefully I can turn my food addiction into a positive addiction of exercising at Curves. But I don't know if just transferring addictions is a good thing either.

Who knows.

Anyways, thanks for listening (per se) and prayers to you all.

Ciao!

Amy

OH.. I have started losing weight again since joining curves... so that is one good thing so far.

[Hastings 3]

It seems sometimes like all the issues (control, emotion, history, etc.) and the practice of overeating are all entangled in a large ball and it's hard to find an end to start unraveling.

It has been important to me to separate the issues. Some I can control, some I can only control my reaction to. Learning to recognize the first step to the fridge is a big step.

I'm doing pretty well in redirecting myself, but I can see it will be a long process.

[Angel_P 0]

I went for my nutritionist/psych evaluation last wednesday and I told both that I was addicted to food.....the process of eating and the aftermath....only I think that I enjoy the "full" (for me stuffed) feeling only when I get there, I actually hate the feeling. They both looked at me and told me there is no such thing as food addiction. I felt really horrible at the time, like a little kid being belittled and scolded. But I know that I am mentally addicted to food. I just have an addictive personality. But now that I have realized (and vocalized) that I don't enjoy being stuffed, it has gotten a little better. One idea and possible solution was to start a journal connected to emotional eating......every time I realize that I am grabbing for food out of emotion, what ever that emotion is, I am going to write about it and find another outlet for that emotion. I hope and pray that it will be a life changing step!

[lanie527 0]

Susan - Look into Geneen Roth. I love her CDs.

Lanie