Am I committed enough?

[mavy 0]

I'm scheduled for surgery on 5-1 and am going back and forth whether to cancel or not every 10 minutes. I come up with the reasons to talk myself into it and then I end up obsessing and come up with even more reasons why I shouldn't. The thought of having a foreign object in my body for the rest of my life is not easy. Not knowing what the band, tube and port are doing in my body at any given second freaks me out. I told the case manager that I'm dealing with at the hospital what I'm feeling and she said, "well maybe the surgery isn't for you". Maybe she's right. I've lost 40 pounds since I started this and wonder if I can just do the rest myself. I've been a fatty for most of my life and for anyone to think that just because I have a band inside me that it's going to keep me from wanting to and eat a pizza or a cheeseburger is crazy. From the beginning the whole logic of having to go on a diet and lose 10 percent of my weight is mind boggling. The first thing I thought was that if I could do that then why would I need this surgery. I know that they want you to lose the weight so that there are fewer chances of complications but I wonder if they also want it to make you think you can do it yourself and then back out of the whole thing. I have an HMO which only charges me minimal co-pay for this surgery so you can see why there may be an incentive to make you think that way. Even more mind boggling is that the people running the program (all skinny of course) give you this minimalist calorie diet and expect you as a fatty your whole life to look at them and just comply without question and ridicule you when you don't follow their diet to a T.

Can you see my dilemma? I know I can cancel this thing right up to the moment I lay down on the operating table but I want to be ready a whole lot sooner than that.

[NUTZY5 0]

I think we all think about what we are doing before we get it done, not knowing exactly what to expect. You are told but until you go through it yourself you will never know. I was a cash patient and I would do it again in a heart beat. It is only a tool to help you on your journey. Things did change after I got banded. I know longer drink diet cokes and a cup of coffee does me good plus many more, but what I really notice is how I am not so sluggish anymore from all the junk food or fast food and I am very satisfied with what I am eating. Hope this helps.

[MerryHearted 20]

Well, most of us bandsters are experts at LOSING the weight -- or at least a good portion of it. Can you keep it off, though?

If you haven't ever tried diet and exercise before to lose and maintain your weight, then maybe you really should do that first. The % of people who can lose 100+ lbs and keep it off is something like 2%. Ridiculously low.

I've been a fatty for most of my life and for anyone to think that just because I have a band inside me that it's going to keep me from wanting to and eat a pizza or a cheeseburger is crazy.

Not really. While the band doesn't completely fix head hunger, I think that once you hit your sweet spot on fill you'll be amazed at how your tastes change. pizza and cheeseburger aren't particularly appealing to me anymore but I sure loved both before. You have to spend so much time chewing small bites of food that texture and taste start to matter a whole lot more than before. Try doing a poll on here for people banded a year or more -- "Have your tastes in food changed?" -- I'm guessing you'll hear a resounding YES.

Even more mind boggling is that the people running the program (all skinny of course) give you this minimalist calorie diet and expect you as a fatty your whole life to look at them and just comply without question and ridicule you when you don't follow their diet to a T.

If I were in a program where I was ridiculed for being unable to stick to a low-cal diet pre-band, I'd switch! Do you really want these people in your life? Are they slender because they are banded themselves? That's another thing -- find a center where most of the staff has the band themselves and UNDERSTAND what you are going through. It will be both an inspiration to you -- hey, they did it! this does work! and a help, to know that they have been through it themselves.

[amsderb 1]

Mavy do you know how lucky you are that your HMO covers it....I know mine is covered too but I had to jump through hoops to prove it and just my BMI about covered it....

NOw, just because you are covered under insurance is NOT the reason to have the surgery BUT....believe me, HMO's are really not in the "business" of spending money easily...it is a business!

So, my friend, Why on earth would they propose you diet to before the surgery...with the hopes one will do so well they call it off? They have decided that the surgery saves them money in the long run because it reduces all the other health issues Morbid Obesity causes!

Mavy, only you can decide if you are committed enough...and maybe you are not ready or maybe you have cold feet....or maybe you are so used to failing at weightloss you truely do not believe that you will succeed!

Most docs follow the standard that you loose 10% of your excess body weight...from what I understand, it IS to see if you are capable of following a restricted diet and to make surgery safer.

Believe me, when they told me to loose more weight in February at my consult...I said, "OMG like I just lost 12lbs and it took forever (since Dec. 4th) plus I had lost 30lbs last year too! If it was easy for me to loose 15 pounds I would not be sitting in this chair!"

Well, I have lost the weight...gotta keep it off...I go back May 20th...would like to see even more off by then (surgery is May 28th.) Luckily, I had some time to accomplish it, but it has not been easy...especially with "the last supper" mentality

So, the purpose is to see, Are you willing to start a new lifestyle? How bad do you want it? There are so many people who want it bad and can't get the help paying for it OR they are just under the BMI #...(my friend is in that boat).

So, do it only if you are willing to change in all aspects of your life...body, mind and food! if not...then maybe you aren't ready...

Good Luck...let us know!

[Doddie63 6]

I cashed my retirement fund to get my band. I went thru all the emotions that exists once I made my decision. I felt exhilarated, doubted myself, had sudden thoughts of never being able to eat my favorite food, was I nuts in making this decision right up until I climbedon the op. table. It has now been one year. It took me 3 months to learn to slow down in my eating and not vomit. Now it is only occasionally. I look at what people eat in the restaurants and my mouth doesn't drool with hunger instead I am turned off by the volumes they eat. My eating tastes have definatley changed. If you want my thoughts, after numerous weight loss programmes of losing and then gaining it all back, the band is the only solution (unless you want a bypass). With the band though, it is reversable. Go for it and good luck.

[amsderb 1]

Doodie63 said, "I look at what people eat in the restaurants and my mouth doesn't drool with hunger instead I am turned off by the volumes they eat."

OMG!!! I am not even banded yet and I do this!!! It is my family too, at times! Oh well, I should just worry about myself right?

[tammy815 0]

I Got Banded On April 25 Th . I Was Thinking The Same Things That You Are Thinking . But , I Reality I Knew I Could Not Lose The Weight By Myself . I Have Tried So Many Diets And Lost A Few Pounds . I Was Tired Of Feeling So Wore Down All The Time , I Did Not Want To Keep Battling This Disease . I Prayed About It ...very Hard ....and God Gave Me The Answer . I Woke Up With The Band Inside Of Me . I Am Thankful I Was Able To Do It . It Has Only Been 3 Days For Me , But I Can Already Feel The Difference In My Body And Out Look On Life . Good Luck , And Pleasedont Turn Back . You Will Not Regret Your Choice .

[MamaHerm 0]

Mavy,

I'm being banded May 5th, and I have experienced some indecisiveness; after all, this is surgery and a life-style change. I, too, wondered why I should have surgery if I can lose the weight

"on my own" before surgery. I did some deep soul-searching and am now totally committed to having surgery. I have lost weight using Weight Watchers, Atkins, etc,, but I always regained it, plus some. I have come to realize that the band, diet, and exercise are some of the tools that I will use to become the healthy person that I want to become. I also feel that by addressing the mental aspect of overeating -- emotional eating, stress eating, eating from being bored, etc.-- will help me to achieve long-term success. I feel that the whole team -- my surgeon, my dietician, my support groups, my family and friends -- is vital to help me to lose weight and keep it off. I'm reading a book called the Ultimate Weight Solution by Dr. Phil. I chose it because he addresses the psychological and behaviorial issues associated with obesity and dieting. One thing he says is, "Get up each morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and see yourself not as someone who is overweight or out of shape, but as the someone you will become, a person with a greater level of dignity and worth who, for probably the first time ever, is finally going to succeed -- for a lifetime." Yes, I will have to work at changing the way I feel about myself and how I eat. There will be ups and downs. But I will be successful, and so will you!

[barbara9460 1]

Mavy, please don't worry so much. I have my surgery coming up on 5/9 and I've had some of the same thoughts. BUT-- I refuse to let food and hunger rule my life anymore. I'm on a two week pre-op diet of Optifast drinks. I can have some broth and some sugarfree Jello, and believe me, it's hard when I think about all the things I could be eating. At the end of my first day of no food, I came home to find my son had left a huge box of Whoppers candy (I love 'em!) right next to my chair - and was gone for the evening. Right now, after nearly 5 days of optifast (yuck!) I still wouldn't eat those Whoppers, because as I said above - I REFUSE TO LET HUNGER AND FOOD RULE ME!

Think again about why you're having the surgery. Be sure that this is what you want, because if you can't make the changes necessary, you'll have medical issues. But, if you still believe that you'd rather be unhealthy and fat, by all means, don't have the surgery.

The staff at your doc's office are probably all banded - they are at mine - so that's why they are all slimmer. You will look that way someday too. Do this for your health - not to become slim, and you'll find yourself checking into the hospital on your band-date.

Best of luck.

Barbara :wink2: