Stress, friends, kids, and trying to quit smoking ......

Pix · April 27, 2008

Ten days left and my nerves are shot all to hell. Between trying to get my house in tip top shape for my mom coming in, and making it so after she leaves my house cleaning is minimal work until I am back to 100%. My kids having sleep over’s (one of there closest friends is moving soon) over here, dr. appointments, stressing about my husband being gone I am ready for the men in the white suits to bring me the soft warm wrap around jacket. Top it all off with trying to maintain my self prescribed 2/3 liquid diet, my will power is about to snap with my sanity.

I have friends getting on my last nerve to compound it!! One of them, sweet kid but really needy and selfish all in the same boat, and about as dumb as a box of rocks. Needless to say I finally blew up one day and it was all aimed at her. What is sad about it all, I don’t feel bad, its stuff I have been wanting to say to her for ages now but have been just to nice to say. While she is trying to pretend I am not angry with her and everything is hunky dory (told you she is a dim one) she is acting all hurt and stuff cause I wont talk to her. I told her a few times that I need space and time, I am one to hold a grudge and if it’s not allowed to go its course it tends to grow. Found out though, that the reason she has been calling me and trying to get me to forgive her or at least pretend nothing is wrong, the week of my surgery she wants me to watch her kids. Yeah that was a nice treat, glad to know I am good for something. *rolls eyes*

Back to the real problem, my sanity vs. willpower. I think they are both on the same wavelength because when my will power starts to wane my sanity feels like it is holding on by a very thin fragile string. So for the time being I have scaled back to a ½ liquid diet, I don’t want to put any of the weight back on, but right now with the added extra stressors I just can’t deal with something like that. I think on the first I will go forward with the 2/3 diet again and then on the 5th move up to a full liquid diet as I don’t want to take a chance of them not doing my surgery. LOL

Top if all off, the patch isn’t helping me any …. I still want to smoke but it’s a huge big no-no with the patch. It has been 2 weeks and this morning I didn’t put one back on. You can make yourself ill if you smoke and have the patch. I asked my surgeon about the prescription chantrix and he said when I come in for me 2week post of visit if I am healing fine and moved on to mushy solids with out issue he will prescribe it for me. He told me I have too much on my plate pre-op to worry about quitting and to wait until I have healed and am not as stressed out before I try it again. He said Chantrix + the Nicotine Patch I will have the best shot at quitting. But I will have to follow up with my PCP in one months time cause he will only prescribe 30 days supply. Which is all I will need, it takes 13 days to make something a habit, and 21 to break the habit (nifty psycho babble facts that are useless LOL). He said if I am in need I can double it with the final stage of the patch (the weak one) if I really feel the “need” to smoke I hope I am not that bad of a smoker. I really do, because that would be bad.

Ok my rant is done, I just had to get it off my chest, I do feel better … (most of my problems are from trying to quit smoking I know. So I am following my doc’s orders and not going to worry about it until AFTER my surgery so I don’t have high blood pressure every fricken day.)

wrestlersmom · April 27, 2008

Geez,

and I thought I had problems...LOL... You make mine seem like nothing...

Yes the Chantix will help you so much better than the patch... What state r u in? My name is Rose whats yours? I am in NC....

I am still waiting after 34 days for approval from BCBS AL.. They are killing my nerves.... I hope to God I get surgery by week one of June... Hang in there and keep me posted on what is happening.. I will keep you in my prayers...:huh2: