newbie and nervous

[odawa 0]

Hello

I've been reading the posts. Amazing things are going on!! I had my nutritional and medical eval yesterday. The Drs think I'm a good candidate for the lap band.

I've studied everything, I know people that had the gastric bypass. I'm a bit nervous. Its a huge change. I hope it will be a good change. Currently I have diabetes and sleep apnea. I hate that CPAP machine. It's just awful.

I havent told my mom that I'm having the surgery. I mentioned once to my brother that I was considering it and mom called that nite crying her eyes out. So I wasnt going to tell her. I think I will have too. My daughter says she will be too hurt if I don't and I can see that is true. I just dont want the extra guilt.

I think this is a good choice for me, I need to get healthy and I cant do it alone.

so the question is How do I tell mom? It looks like my surgery date will be in July 08 Woo Hoo!! So I have to tell her soon.

[Long2BFree 12]

Most people aren't educated about Lap Band surgery and think its like gastric bypass. You should give your mom all of the facts about it so she is totally aware of how it works. I know my mom is worried about me having it done, but she's always worried when I've had to have surgery. Explaining everything made it easier for her to accept.

[mammanan 0]

I too was afraid at what my mom's response would be when I told her about my plans for surgery. I took the risk to tell her I was going to the informational seminar... just to get more info and then shared it all with her including how it worked, risks and how it differed from the bypass... I could tell that initally she was a bit taken back...But by the next morning, after sleeping on it, thinking about the many failed weight loss attempts I have had and how obesityy has impacted my life, she came around to being supportive.... In her words " I have prayed for years for you to find a way to manage your weight and maybe this is God's answer to that prayer".

Best of luck!!!

[odawa 0]

When I tried to talk to her last time, she wouldnt listen she had her mind made up and that was it. Now when I mention when I'm thinner, she says if she could stay with me 2 weeks I'd lose weight. right. and how long will that last.

I guess I'll just have to suck it up and call her.

[Sassisparilla 0]

My mom made the suggestion for me to look into having lap band and I was afraid to tell her that I was already going through the pre-approval process. I didn't tell her until after I had been approved and my surgery scheduled. Good luck with your mom - if it was difficult for me to tell my mom after it was her suggestion I can only imagine how you feel.

[mommmyof4 0]

hey - i've following your replies and everyone has different family dynamics. i know it will be tough to tell my parents but i fell right now that i will tell them. i have already planted the seed with my mom - i've told her i was considering it. my dad will be more difficult to tell. but in the end, most people do not understand our choice. they think it's extreme, taking the easy way out. these same people wear a size 3 jeans and were "cursed" with a high metabolism - i would kill for that curse. ultimately, it is your life, you are an adult, it is your body. i know that i cannot lose 90 lbs on my own. that is why i will get the band. good luck with the family!

[Enchanted 2]

What about something like this.....

"I've made an important decision and hope you will support me."

Or..what I did with my best friend (because we'd discussed it and he was somewhat opposed, but not completely against.) "I decided to have lap band surgery and from this moment forward, you're to only say supportive things about it."

I think the "trick" is to sound and be confident in your decision. This isn't something that is up for discussion at this point. You've decided. You've done your homework. You know this is best for you.

Good luck :w00t:

[odawa 0]

yeh telling my bestest friend was hard too I was complaining about mom and her reaction and my friend started to say that I didnt need the surgery. So I told her all mom did was guarantee that she wont know when the surgery happens. My friend was sputtering, I told her my mind is made up and now she supports it. She may not agree but she supports it.

Mom is totally different. I could understand if she were thin, mom is very heavy!!! She cant control her diet either. Its hereditary on my side of the fence. Maybe I wont tell her.

[ssh 1]

I had a similar issue, but it was with my dad. My mom was totally on board with me because she went to a seminar with me and knew most all the details about the surgery. When I was talking to my dad about it he was very opposed to the idea. He didn't know what the Lap Band was, he just heard the "bariatric surgery" part of our conversation. And like most parents I'm sure he was thinking he didn't want his "little girl" (yeah, I'm 30 now but still his little girl) going through any type of unnecessary surgery. But when he started to see the commercials on TV and I brought him some booklets to read about the surgery and explained how it was nothing like gastric bypass surgery, he felt a little easier about it. But he still didn't encourage me to do it. Now being 2 months out from surgery, he's has a totally different opinion about it. He tells me every week how great I look and how he can really tell I've lost weight but most of all he tells me he's proud of me for having the courage to go through with it. Coming from a father, telling his daughter he thinks she courageous in doing something........really boosts my confidence levels. Try educating your mom about the surgery. If she's anything like my dad, she'll come around. Funny thing now, my dad is trying to convince my brother to have this surgery done. But right now my brother doesn't want to give up beer drinking with is buddies enough to have the surgery. Maybe he'll realize there is a lot more to life than beer drinking with his friends when he could be 100 + pounds smaller !

[odawa 0]

That is a great idea. I'll send her some flyers and pamphlets. I'll see if I can get some from the hospital.

[zoomomma 1]

My mom was with me all through the research process and the decision process. I have to agree with the other posts, if you present her with all the facts and figures and be confident in you decision, not allowing any negativity, I think she will come around. If she doesn't then seeing is believing. Hope everything goes well for you.