Not as nice?

[AppleBottom 0]

Do you feel like you're "not as nice" since you lost most of your weight?

I am a perky, cheerful person, and I do feel that it is my nature. However, I am now realizing that I definitely try to compensate for my size ( some co-workers don't like/judge me just because I am fat) by going ABOVE the above and beyond for people (allow people to take advantage...).

I have a feeling this will change after surgery. Anyone have any experiences with this?

Thanks ahead of time for the wisdom,bandsters!

[Ariel 1]

For me my true personality is starting to come out. I was always really shy in social settings but now I am much more outgoing.

[Nobadthing 0]

Wow, no way am I "not as nice" now. At 342lbs I was hating myself and mad at the world. I was really a beotch to the people closest to me because I was so miserable. At 187 I am a much nicer person because I'm not so angry at myself or so defensive about people judging me as a "fat chick". I don't fight with my man near as much as I did then nor do I take my hositility out on him anymore. For me thinner = happier = nicer. Now that I've said that though my job does require me to aggressively defend my position so I still get to be a beotch sometimes just not to the people I love and the world in general.

I'm betting that if you are a sweetie now you bill even sweeter later. Especially to yourself and that is probably the most important person for you to be sweet to.

Oh and one more thing. Don't let people walk all over you just because you are bigger. Get a jump on feeling good about yourself now and don't think you have to work harder to make friends just because you are bigger. Stand up for yourself now and then just sit back and smile when the fat haters come groveling for your attention when you are thinner. You won't need them then and you don't need them now either. :crying:

Good luck.

[JoannaG 0]

How Funny Apple, you just described me and i had not really thought about that before as being overly nice to compensate for my size. I really do think its my nature though and that I will continue to be nice once I slim down. Good Post!! Thanks!

[FinallyFree 1]

I didn't realize how self defensive and angry I was when I was heavy....now I am much more accepting and understanding of others.

I was surprised at an angry look I received from a woman in a store a few months ago. Then I realized she was angry at me because she thought I looked nice and slim, and she didn't. WOW!

[She Smiles 2]

I think in some situations I am not as nice simply because I'm not afraid to stand up for myself and won't take crap from people now. Its like losing the weight has given me the confidence to tell people when I'm not happy with something. So I guess I am a bit more of a bitch, but its in defense of myself, which I think is a good thing!

[Hastings 3]

If you ever doubt that heavy people are "overly" nice take a look at some before and after pictures. Lots of angry looks in the before pictures. I love to see the smiling and proud faces in the after pictures. I don't think your particular character changes, but your behavior might.

[Marimaru 7]

Hm. "Not as nice" or... "refusing to be a doormat"? For the first time in my life I was having actual fights with my mom because I wasn't taking crap from her I used to take, or I'd actually tell her that I didn't want to do something and she'd take it personally. My sisters too. I was getting really angry over the whole thing, because it happened quite often for a while, but then it died down. Not too long ago it came up in conversation and my mom said that it's good that I don't let people walk on me anymore, but it's hard to take it when I lash back since they aren't used to it.

It's MUCH easier with people who didn't know you were a person that at one time they could have walked all over you. With my family, I think there will always be some of it there, tension because I'm arguing back, or me being irritated because I've agreed to do something I didn't REALLY want to do, etc.