New to this..and getting all the negative remarks

[afw 0]

If people who are clinically depressed would just cheer up. Sounds ridiculous, hm?

I just want to say that is a great way of looking at this. It's so easy to think of yourself as a failure for getting fat - in fact we're basically told that all day every day. But you are right - people used to say that those with depression just needed to buck up and get on with their lives, when they literally couldn't. Thanks for helping me feel better about what I am considering.

[MacMadame 81]

I work in the hospital where I am having surgery and I am sure that it is going to get out about my surgery. For now I am going to limit who i tell. Becky

You're right, it will get out. But if you aren't talking about it, that will stop a LOT of people from bringing it up. Not everyone ... but at least it will stop the non-rude ones who understand boundaries. :smile2:

[just1more 0]

I am just starting this journey and have also run into the negative comments. When I told my BFF the first thing she said was "I would reather do it naturaly." She is also over weight. I was really upset and spoke with my SIL who had the band done a year ago, her advice to me was to avoid people who are going to be negative and if you cant aviod them dont bring up the subject. If all else fails tell them point blank "I'm not doing this for you." Because in the vast scheme of things the only oppinion that matters is yours. You know your struggles and what you are capable. Good luck.

[beckn 2]

In the past, everytime I start a new diet I am so jazzed that I tell the world. Then after a few weeks I always have the set backs for one reason or another and then all the weight goes right back on. I am not ashamed of having the surgery I just want to keep it private for now until my lifestyle and weight changes are noticeable and then I will be very selective on who I choose to share it. I know that this is the right thing for me at this point in my life. I am starting to have many health problems because of my weight, so it is justified. I just want to live my life to the best of my ability, be active and joyful and not have to defend myself to anyone. Someone said on this thread "my oppinion is the only one that matters" That is so true. My husband and sister are so supportive of me, that is all I need. And this website where I can bare my soul, knowing you all understand. Thanks so much! Becky

[cherj60 0]

Well, here is my support problem - my husband! He is also overweight and scheduled for surgery on 5/29. My surgery is 5/6. He was all "yes, lets do this" and "I can't wait to be normal instead of fat". But when we actually got to the pre-adm testing and scheduling a date, his enthusiasm started declining. He won't stop smoking, he hasn't even starting watching his diet (he should loose 20 lbs. before surgery). I have been trying and he isn't supporting that either. He is even complaining because I want my exercise bike in the living room. I'm not sure if he is scared of the surgery or scared of the future because it will be different !!

Any suggestions on how to motivate him - or not let him unmotivate me!

[beckn 2]

That's a tough one. It sounds like you are ready to go and he is stalling for whatever reason. It would be good if he could open up about it. Maybe this isn't the right time for him. You are going to have to stick to your plans with or without him. Once he sees how well you are doing maybe he will choose to go through with it. Keep connected to the great people on this website. Does your Bariatric program have a support group you can attend? Do you have someone close to you that can be your support buddy until your husband works out his issues? Good luck.

[Jude5353 0]

I don't think I would want to be married to anyone who would make me choose between him and getting lapband in order to be healthy and live a longer, happier life.

[xgrl 0]

My 2 friends that know that are also bigger girls have giving me that they understand why i'm doing this but haven't really said that they support me....So I instead look to this forum, in real life you may not have people that are going thru the same thing you are...HERE you are bound to find someone that is in a very similar situation as you and here you can always count on support and advice. I would tell you friend that you would love it if they would support you but if they don't they are gonna have to deal with it when you have the surgery. I would say so far for me it's hard leading up to it because the people i've told i feel as though they don't believe that i'm actually doing it. Because the 6 month diet and everything take so long but it's a process they'll eventually come around when they see how happy and healthy you are in the future!!! thats what I keep thinking "I will be happy and healthy in the future" Good luck with your friend, maybe you could remind her of a time when you supported her in her decision.... Have fun at your Seminar! you will learn so much and get inspired! :wink2:

[Telecia 1]

You know what - your friend is absolutely right! Not about the quick fix, but about being able to lose weight with just diet and exercise. I am living proof! I have lost 500 pounds (off and on) over the last 40 years through diet and exercise alone. Unfortunately, I also gained back 600 pounds (off and on) when I STOPPED the diet and exercise. I'm sure every person on here has lost weight through diet and exercise, and personally know 10 more who have, as well. PLEASE, show me 4 people who have lost over 100 pounds through diet and exercise alone and KEPT it off for 5 years! I want to shake their hand. I DO know folks who maintain healthy weights by healthy living. God Bless Them! BUT - These people have never been overweight to begin with! I don't know if they were just taught better by their parents, or it is a metabolism thing. Whatever it was, they are very lucky! But in the real world, with normal people, who have everyday lives, we need all the help we can get! To me WLS is a tool to control a disease, just like prescription meds are tools to control other diseases. If you want to control a disease and live longer you take whatever actions your doc rocommends - whether it is pills or surgery! Good luck. Remember - this is YOUR body, YOUR decision and YOUR quality of life.

I lost 250 lbs and have kept it off for 8 years now. Trouble is I can't get anymore off LOL. At my high point I was 650lbs o.O got down to 450 just by cutting out sweets and eating healthier but due to physical issues can't do the excersise needed to do this without a band.

But your right sooo many people haven't been through it so they can't understand why someone would pick a WLS. Also so many people have such a fear of surgery to begin with that ANY kind of surgery mentioned freaks them out.

Or they may have had the same weight problems and are to stubborn/scared/uneducated about the whole WLS issue to accept it. I know myself watching my step mom go through RNY 20 years ago and all the troubles she had after and how unhealthy she looks today, malnourishment issues, she never lost all the weight etc. I SWORE I would NEVER consider surgery and here I am 20 years later fighting both my PCP and Insurance to get it done. LOL

My response to those with negative comments is to smile and politely say I have made my choice now I have to live with it. Thanks for your concern.

[barbara9460 1]

I have discussed this with my hubby and he is supportive of me either way I decide and in the end, that's all that really matters.

But I've mentioned "wanting" to have this procedure to my best friend, who is fairly open minded, and she calls it a quick fix. She says if "you'd just eat right and exercise you'd lose weight". Wow, if it was JUST that easy...would any of us be HERE? :confused2:

I love my BF, but she's really into natural foods and says I'm too "acidic" and I should drink barley grass or some junk. I don't know what that is, but I'm pretty sure I'd rather not.

How do/did you get over the it's a quick fix remarks?

Hi Melissa. I've had friends do the same to me over the years that I've been researching this. In fact a friend said the same thing to me that your friend said to you... funny tho, because now she's about 80 lbs overweight. She's been very vocal about it over the years and called me lazy, etc.

The thing is, Mel, only you walk in your shoes. No other person has the same experiences that you've had. Personally, this choice is the best I've ever made - and I don't get banded until 5/9 - because it means that I finally decided that living was more important than dying.

Do your research, read all the posts - good and bad - and decide for yourself... do you want to be healthy or not?

One thing is certain... this is NOT a quick fix. Your friend doesn't have her facts straight.

I hope all goes well for you, no matter what you decide to do.

Barbara

[cherj60 0]

THANKS BECKN!! I know I am doing the right thing. I do have a lot of support from co-workers who have had WLS and my mom. They do have a support group at the clinic, but it is an hour away and with gas prices and busy schedules I haven't made it there yet.

I just made up my mind today that I'm going to worry about myself for a change. I am 47 and have been worrying about every one else my whole life. My youngest at home is 16, and getting pretty independent. So, I'm ready - a week from tomorrow!!!!