New to this..and getting all the negative remarks

[mpope 1]

I have discussed this with my hubby and he is supportive of me either way I decide and in the end, that's all that really matters.

But I've mentioned "wanting" to have this procedure to my best friend, who is fairly open minded, and she calls it a quick fix. She says if "you'd just eat right and exercise you'd lose weight". Wow, if it was JUST that easy...would any of us be HERE? :confused2:

I love my BF, but she's really into natural foods and says I'm too "acidic" and I should drink barley grass or some junk. I don't know what that is, but I'm pretty sure I'd rather not.

How do/did you get over the it's a quick fix remarks? :thumbs_down:

[IndioGirl55 32]

I have discussed this with my hubby and he is supportive of me either way I decide and in the end, that's all that really matters.

But I've mentioned "wanting" to have this procedure to my best friend, who is fairly open minded, and she calls it a quick fix. She says if "you'd just eat right and exercise you'd lose weight". Wow, if it was JUST that easy...would any of us be HERE? :confused2:

I love my BF, but she's really into natural foods and says I'm too "acidic" and I should drink barley grass or some junk. I don't know what that is, but I'm pretty sure I'd rather not.

How do/did you get over the it's a quick fix remarks? :thumbs_down:

I don't feel that I have to justify my choices with anyone...

I am grown and I can do as I please - this is my life and not theirs..

This is my choice (the band) in what I feel is best for me ...

I don't need the approval of others.

[macemar 0]

I heard the same thing from my sister (who is a size 4 and doesn't excercise or eat right). Everyone is different and weight gain and loss is different for everyone. It's hard to get over - but just chalk it up to "they don't walk in your shoes". Do what's right for you!

[kathystrick 3]

It is hardly a "quick fix" either. SO many people say that regarding any WLS, but that statement actually only shows their ignorance about what success with the procedures entails.

You will find that a lot of us don't tell people we are having surgery and the negative comments are the very reason, for me at least. But as IndigioGirl said, it is YOUR life and YOUR decision. Ultimately, the only person you have to justify it to and make happy is yourself.

I was at a support group meeting last night and the comment was made that from the time you decide to have surgery and on through the course of your weightloss, you will lose friends, some you have had all your life and some people will even lose their spouse because they can't handle the changes in you. She said you have to know that when you make the decision for surgery and be prepared to deal with it.

Good luck!

[Jude5353 0]

Melissa, there is no "quick fix". I had my lapband surgery on 3/7th and I know it is only a tool to help me with my weight, just like Weight Watchers, diet pills or anything else would be. You are the one who has to do the work. My only suggestion would be not to include any people in your conversation about the surgery who is not supportive of what YOU decide to do. This journey is about YOU not about what other people think of your decision to do it. Pray about it and go with what you feel is best for you. Good luck to you.

[TexasBecky 1]

I don't know your history, but if like many of us, you have struggled with your weight for years, lost and gained many times, etc. then traditional weight loss methods may never work for you. People just don't get that. No surgery should be taken lightly, nor should anyone view this as a quick fix. I think that the lapband is for people who have exhausted all traditional options and are still obese. This too will require a permanent change in your thinking, eating, and lifestyle. It is not the easy way out. Friends and family members may never understand that, but for those who really love and care about you, they should be supportive of your decision. If they aren't, well then you need to re-evaluate the relationship. Good luck to you.

[harleymom74 0]

Who cares what kind of fix it is, it's a fix and that is all that matters. My weight has been up and down like Oprah, I can never keep it off. Let's say you do loose the weight with her plan, how long can you keep drinking green slime and enjoy it.

My boyfriend loves me no matter what and he doesn't care about the weight(so he says), but when I told him I wanted the surgery he said something similar to your friend. "if you would get more exercise." with my joint problems and my asthma I can hardly stand the strenuous exercise I need to take any weight off. It never lasts when I do starve myself into a smaller size.

A true friend would understand that everyone is different and what works for her may not be right for you (or anyone with taste-buds). This is for your physical and mental health. When it is all done and you loose the weight I'm sure she will come around when she realizes how much better you fell.

Fortunately everyone here will support you. Good luck and make yourself happy!

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

But I've mentioned "wanting" to have this procedure to my best friend, who is fairly open minded, and she calls it a quick fix. She says if "you'd just eat right and exercise you'd lose weight".

Melissa,

My mom, who too is open minded, said the same thing to me. I told her flat out, I'm letting you know what I am doing, I want your support, but really don't need any negativity. She hasn't said another word. She thinks if I just exercised more and cut back I could lose the weight and keep it off on my own. It is frustrating and is not a quick fix. It is a tool that I need to become healthy. I really don't think that most people that have never had a weight problem understand. Hang in there and do what you want/need to do. I only told a select few before my surgery for that very reason. Now I shout it from the rooftops - if they don't like it, to hell with them.

[sara21 0]

please tell me how to put up the ticker before i shot myself!!!!!!!!!!!!

[IndioGirl55 32]

please tell me how to put up the ticker before i shot myself!!!!!!!!!!!!

HERE YOU GO - CLICK ON THIS LINK

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f5/ticker-tutorial-pictures-41782/

[shortgal 5]

It hurts when people that know us well can't be supportive, because we would like to have their support but really unless they have had a weight problem it might be hard for them to understand.

I love when people say, just exercise more. Well, I usually say, let's strap one hundred extra pounds on your body and then see how easy it is to go for a walk. I'll bet they'd give up fast.

Do they really think we'd be cut open if we thought we could do this without help? Do they think we haven't tried other methods?

why is it Ok to get boob jobs, but not ok to have WLS? Why is lasik ok for vision? Why don't they all just wear glasses?

Why is it not OK that we ask the medical community to help us with a medical condition? Is is any different than taking medication for high blood pressure or cholesterol.

I think it will take time for some people to accept WLS and really who cares what they think. I knew I had to do something and I did. That is good enough for me and will just have to be ok for them, too. It's not your friends body, it's yours.

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

why is it Ok to get boob jobs, but not ok to have WLS? Why is lasik ok for vision? Why don't they all just wear glasses?

Amen!:crying:

[JWood1967 0]

She has not clue what you go through. Please don't judge her like she did you. I told very very few people when I had my surgery. People who don't have a weight issue can't even imagine what we go through. If you husband is behind you that is good enough. I was only off work for 2 days and no one needs to know but you. Your friend will come around when she sees how much this will help you. And LB is not a quick fix. Maybe you could try educating her on the proceedure. She maybe talking because of what she sees in the media. Tell her it is a tool to help you. Just like reading glasses help us see they are still just a tool. Let her know that much at least. But in the end it's still your choice and you will decide what is best for you.

[kamica 0]

That is exactly why I've decided not to share this with any of my friends. Once I've had the surgery (this summer), and I feel confident with myself and my success, I'll let only my close friends know. I hope that I'm more energetic, and healthy, and that they will agree with the outcome of the surgery. They will see the positive impact it has had on my health and life, and who can argue with results?

[MrsFlipFlops 2]

The negative comments... for me anyway, ended when I got surgery. My dad was against the surgery, but once I got it, he was supportive of me (not necessarily my decision). I only told two friends. No one else knew, and quite frankly they don't need to know. When I went in for kidney stone surgery, I didn't tell everyone! Why should I for this? I would tell your friend you understand what's she's saying, but you really need her support. I always say, I know WHAT to do to lose weight, I know I'm physically capable of it, but I'm NOT doing it- for whatever reason for however many years I'm NOT doing it. My dad wanted to "challenge" me to a diet with him. He was willing to put up lots of cold hard cash to send me to a fat camp (like NIF in CA). But I just told him no. I know I can do it, but I'm clearly not doing it. I'm not going to keep banging my head against the wall trying the same old thing and getting the same old results.

I was at a support group meeting last night and the comment was made that from the time you decide to have surgery and on through the course of your weightloss, you will lose friends, some you have had all your life and some people will even lose their spouse because they can't handle the changes in you. She said you have to know that when you make the decision for surgery and be prepared to deal with it. Good luck!

I paused a little when I read this. I don't know, something struck me... I recognize I may lose a friend or two throughout life, but the losing a husband. I've had to pause and think about that for awhile. Luckily, my husband is the best thing I've got going for me. :crying: But I pondered this for a little while. If it was a matter divorce because of my band or no band... I would choose no band.