Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Does it bother you when people ask"how much weight have you lost"?



Recommended Posts

When I finally told my mother that I had the band (three months after, when I went to Florida) he comment was "Boy, you must have been really heavy if you still have so much to lose" Given that she's not overweight and is obsessed with dieting, I expected it, but I told her I didn't tell her and wouldn't tell her in phone conversations because I didn't want to feed into her obsession. (I had lost 45 witn another 40 to go) This is the same woman who never said boo about my 3.85 GPA after four years of college, but was thrilled beyond belief when I lost 40 lbs after graduation. Luckily, I'm 52 now and don't pay attention to her(most of the time!). I did tell her that at 82 she needed to get a life and eat what she wants!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My neighbor was outside the other day and commented how great I'm looking. I said thank you. Then she asked how much weight I've lost. Um, excuse me? None of your business. I just said, "A lot. I feel great!" That put an end to it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like ladybug3's response. I hate, hate, hate to be the center of attention. I've always been rather introverted...I would be uncomfortable even with compliments.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It depends on who it is and how long it's been since they have seen me.

People that go on and on about it, annoy me. If it's someone I haven't seen for a long time, and they make a comment, it doesn't bother me.

Most people don't know about the band.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a "no numbers" policy. I've told everyone up front that I'm not going to give numbers. So, they don't ask me.

Giving numbers is just too stressful. It would be fun when you are losing 10-20 lbs a month, but once you level off, or hit a plateau, it would feel like such a letdown to tell someone and have them look dissapointed.

I'm not offended when someone asks. I'm happy that they noticed and care enough about me to want to know. But, that doesn't mean that I want to tell them. :w00t: I do like the "a few sizes" reply, though. My reply just makes people start to apologize for being rude - which isn't what I intended. A softer way to evade the question would be a good thing for people I don't know as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you owe it to yourself to end this. It is NEVER appropriate to ask someone this question. You don't need any extra pressure; we all put enough on ourselves. I would tell each person (not at a time when you feel frustrated with them) "I realize you are trying to be supportive, but when you ask me how much I have lost it distracts from my goal of getting healthy. This is about more than just pounds lost." Or some other idea that expresses how you fell about this journey. If they persist you could jokingly say, you first, how much did you lose? Since it is highkly likely that some of these people need to lose weight, this might put a different spin on their RUDE question.

I'm with you on this one! I think it's very rude and this is a very personal and private topic for me. I realize many people share this information with friends and coworkers, but I've chosen to keep it very private. It's very early in the journey for me, so no one has noticed anything different yet - 15 pounds is hardly a dent in the bigger number - but I'm sure eventually people will start asking me about my weight loss. We'll see how I feel about it then, but for now it is just too personal a subject to discuss with anyone other than my closest friends. I'm single and don't have any immediate family living nearby. I've only told my two closest friends - no one in my family knows yet. Of course, the annonymity this board provides and all the great information posted by everyone is a tremendous support!

Cheers!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you're not comfortable going into it with them, I'd just say, that I stopped weighing myself after the scale freaked out and went haywire. Threw the damn thing out and not getting another one!

If you do want to get a little confrontational about it you could always ask them if they're keeping track and why? Or why are they so interested? or why are they so invested in YOUR weight loss? Etc.

This is one reason I've only told DH, mom and one of my best friends. A couple of other people know about it because they ended up in the same nutrition class as I did but they are going for bypass as far as I know and I can always say later that I changed my mind but continued on the eating plan from class. They are bigmouths, rude and obnoxious but I'm hoping on this one thing they just keep their traps shut. I'm losing 1-2 pounds a week and already have people noticing so I'm already saying that I'm going to a nutrition class and trying again to lose weight. I'll just be continuing the work after class is over. Only difference is that I'll have a little friend inside helping. :smile2:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a great one. My mother in law asked my 6 month old foster son how much weight mommy has lost now. I just ignored her. After a few minutes she asked me. I told her "none lately". She then asked if I am under 200. I simply said yes. Then she went on and on about how she can always tell when I am over 200. She said "you don't start looking big until you're over 200. That's when you get really big". BLAH BLAH BLAH. She means well, but good grief!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of the only people who asks me this regularly is another woman in the building who had the procedure done. Everytime I walk by she says Hi Skinny! It is great, it's almost like a little inside secret. She is a skinny minnie now, and she is showing her support that I'll be a skinny minnie soon, too!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a great one. My mother in law asked my 6 month old foster son how much weight mommy has lost now. I just ignored her. After a few minutes she asked me. I told her "none lately". She then asked if I am under 200. I simply said yes. Then she went on and on about how she can always tell when I am over 200. She said "you don't start looking big until you're over 200. That's when you get really big". BLAH BLAH BLAH. She means well, but good grief!!!

Ohh! DAYUM. Gees. LOL Sometimes people say things and REALLY don't understand how they come across. My mom is one of those. Usually when I put it back to her, explaining how it sounded, she gets apologetic and tries to explain what she meant. She wasn't really trying to be venomous. One time she criticized a cow keychain I had, saying that when people keep certain imagery around, they start to look like it. Another time, I had gotten up to 210 (5 years ago) and lost back down to like 170. I told her I had gotten up that high and she said if she ever got over 200, she'd kill herself. Thanks, Mom. LOL

It doesn't bother me when people ask - I love answering that question. But I could certainly understand if it was a daily occurrence. I'd probably get annoyed with that. I would probably ask them how much they've lost. LOL I usually turn a question around on the other person if I don't feel like answering it - even if it doesn't make any sense.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×