Does it bother you when people ask"how much weight have you lost"?

[ssh 1]

When someone out of the blue asks me, "have you lost weight?", that makes me feel good. It meas since they've seen me last, they can possibly tell I've lost a few pounds.

But when the same people ask me almost daily or weekly, "how much weight have you lost now", it really gets under my skin:angry_smile:. I smile and say, "I haven't weighed since last week so I don't know of any more". Because I do honestly only weigh once a week. But it gets so discouraging when I've only lost 1 pound or possible none and they keep asking every week.

I was very open with friends, family and co-workers about having my surgery. Everyone I associate with regularly knew about me having the surgery and they all were very supportive. I know they are just curious as to how much I've lost and I know deep down they really do care about me in my weight loss journey. But it drives me insane some days when they keep asking. If it were only one or two a day I don't think it would bother me. But I'm talking about 5-10 people ask me daily. I'm trying to be the nice person I think I am (haha) and smile :biggrin2: and not snap back at them but I'm starting to lose my patience. I promise I will never ask anyone again how much weight have they lost.

If I'm being totally unreasonable in thinking this, please someone tell me so. Or if you agree and feel the way I do, let me know I'm not the only one.

[Gone4Now 4]

I'm doing WW along w/my daughter and I love our leader. He's sarcastic about it. He said one guy at work kept asking over and over again...so finally instead of saying he was doing WW, he just said, "yeah, I have a cocaine addiction." THAT got the other guy's attention and he stopped asking.

But, over all, it doesn't bother me. It bothers me more when they DON'T say anything. I think they're either jealous and don't want to be happy for me, or they really can't tell and it means I'm so huge a 70 pound difference isn't noticeable! Ouch!

[travelgirl 3]

I'm with you. It totally pisses me off. My brother in law would ask me literally every time he saw me. I finally said, I'm pretty sick of answering that question. So how about this, if I look like I've lost weight, then I have. If I don't, then I haven't. I must have been pmsing that day because I normally wouldn't have said anything like that, but it really did hit me wrong when he asked me for the hundredth time, "So how much weight have you lost NOW?" When it was obvious to me that I hadn't lost anything since the last time he'd seen me. He's told me all about his friend who had gastric bypass and lost all her hair, and I know he's comparing my results to hers.

Sorry for the rant, it just REALLY does tick me off to hear that question. Plus, after you've lost a LOT of weight, then you'll start getting reactions like, wow, I didn't think you were THAT big before. I must be pmsing today, because I really hate people today. LOL!

[lanie527 0]

I think you owe it to yourself to end this. It is NEVER appropriate to ask someone this question. You don't need any extra pressure; we all put enough on ourselves. I would tell each person (not at a time when you feel frustrated with them) "I realize you are trying to be supportive, but when you ask me how much I have lost it distracts from my goal of getting healthy. This is about more than just pounds lost." Or some other idea that expresses how you fell about this journey. If they persist you could jokingly say, you first, how much did you lose? Since it is highkly likely that some of these people need to lose weight, this might put a different spin on their RUDE question.

[Southern Missy 1]

Just my opinion but I liken it to the question everyone gets when they're pregnant... you know the one(s):

1. When are you due?

2. Girl or boy?

OR my personal favorite (NOT):

3. Are you sure you're going to make it that long??

Most of the time, I think it is just a way to make conversation. However, since you don't have the option of it ending after 9 months, I would do like Lanie said and come up with a way to diffuse it. I thought she had a GREAT suggestion! :redface:

[ssh 1]

You are right Lanie. I just need to nip it in the bud, but in a nice way. You gave a great example. Thanks!

[renewedhope 4]

I don't mind people noticing that I have lost weight. In fact, I am very happy when they do notice. However, those who ask how much over and over, they get on my last nerve!!! The worst of all is when they, through all of there questions, figure out how much I weighed to start with. Yesterday my bil did this. Then he said, "Oh Amy, I didn't realize you were ever THAT big!" Ok, I surely could have lived without that comment.

So..... A polite recognition of my weight loss is ok with me, but question after question and comment after comment really gets on my nerves.

[citygirl4616 2]

I usually think it is too personal to ask someone how much weight they have lost. It is very nosey. The exceptions for me are my close family, who are incredibly supportive, and are not asking in any judgmental way; and my personal trainer, who stares at my body for 60 minutes a week, and is trying very hard to help me lose the weight.

When anyone else asks, I feel like it is none of their business. Keep in mind, I have only told my family about my surgery, none of my friends know. Some will say, "wow..you look really great." Thanks! Others say, "You look great..have you lost weight?" Yes! Thanks for noticing. I am also OK with, "You've lost weight..how did you do it?" Well, I eat less, and exercise more.

Personally...I feel a line is crossed when someone says, "Have you lost weight? HOW MUCH?" . My answer is always the same. I say, "A few sizes...." Then I change the subject. Is always works. The questioner gets the picture. If they ask again, they get the same answer!

I am grateful for them noticing, but asking for poundage is a bit much in my book!

[Robin Bird 0]

ssh,

I totally agree with you. My mom asks me this question every time I see her, which could be multiple times per week! For some reason it just burns my bacon! I know she means well, but it seems like she feels obligated to ask me. She is MO and would never have the drive to change her lifestyle and have WLS, so I'm no longer her Burger King partner. Perhaps she feels left behind and that's why it doesn't come off as sincere. I don't know. You know??

Robin

[babs0101 1]

It doesn't bother me at all. I love the fact that I've lost over 80 lbs! I want them to notice and 80 lbs is alot and it just sounds good when I say it. Even if they ask me everyday, I say the same, just over 80 lbs. Until I hit 90 of course! In response to "I didn't realize you were that big", I just laugh and say I'll never will be again!

[Mary-2b150 0]

I hate that question too, you might as well ask what I weigh!

I'll usually try to laugh it off by saing "not enough" or something.. If they ask more than once I'll say "more than I care to admit", and that usually ends the conversation.

[snowbird 2]

My neighbor (whom I know very slightly) DID ask what I weighed. First she asked how much I lost, then what I weighed, and then asked how much more I wanted to lose. When I told her, she commented, "If you lose THAT much more you will weigh less than me, and I will be very jealous!" I just shrugged. What can you say? It doesn't really bother me; I think it's kind of funny. It's like if she belched loudly; I just say to myself, "how rude!" and laugh. She's nearly 60 years old; I certainly can't teach her manners at this point.

[amc581 0]

Well I haven't had my surgery yet, but about 8yrs ago I lost 80lbs, and people I would see from high school since this was about 2yrs after I graduated would see me and ask me how much I lost and I had no problem telling them, but then one day I saw a girl in a restruant and she screamed it felt like louder then anything"OH MY GOD YOU LOST SOOO MUCH WEIGHT". I was mortified I mean it's one thing to say it too me it's quite another to scream it across a room. Anyway my point being I found then that alot of people started rumors that I was on drugs and blah blah. I think it stems from people who just want to do it themselves too and want to know how someone else could accomplish it. For the people that know about the surgery I guess it's a mix between just not being educated enough about it, and also being curious about how fast people really loose weight, because I find the common misperception of wls is people think you'll be skinny in no time. I guess untill I have the surgery and start loosing I won't know.

[renewedhope 4]

Don't get me wrong. I am glad people notice and I am VERY proud of the weight I have lost. It's when people want to know how much I weigh that I don't care for. When I am at 150 I may be blurting it from the mountains, but for now I think I will keep a little more private.

[travelgirl 3]

I hate that question too, you might as well ask what I weigh!

I'll usually try to laugh it off by saing "not enough" or something.. If they ask more than once I'll say "more than I care to admit", and that usually ends the conversation.

I believe I'll start using the "more than I care to admit" line. I LOVE it. It implies that they're being nosey, and puts them off without being rude all in 6 teeny tiny words!

Brilliant!:thumbs_down::thumbup::cursing: