I am the impetus for my family's weight loss...not sure I am happy about it.

blahblahblah · April 22, 2008

well, I'm happy they are getting healthy, but do they really have to tell me it is because of me.

In theory, that should be okay. But, when the conversation goes as follows, it's harder to get down.

"R- is really going to the gym and losing weight."

"That's great."

"Yeah, he said it would be so weird if you weighed less than him."

WTF?

Why would someone say that to me? And she's not the only one. My other sister told me that I'm the reason her diet is working. She doesn't want to be the fat sister.

WTF????

Does my family need a tact lesson or what?

anyone else getting this from their friends and family?

Rain

NukeChik · April 22, 2008

Everyone that I have told about my banding has been that way. I think they are so afraid that I'll be smaller than them. It also manifests itself in different ways. So people want to share with me what they are doing to lose weight (my mom has started nutrisystem). Others are just out for plain old sabotage (bringing food and sweets to work). I guess they just realize that I'll be HOT when I lose all my weight

Keep up the good work Rain, congrats on the 100 pounds!

losingjusme · April 22, 2008

hey Rain...

yup ... my sister is now dieting (so i hear from my mom)... she doesnt want to be the fat sister.

she found out i wear 14s or 16s and freaked out cause she's in 18s...

you look great btw ...

MissWilde · April 22, 2008

I don't think familes and tact go together very well! Lucky for me I am an only child so don't have to worry about the fat sister thing!

KiKi XX

Apples2 · April 22, 2008

Hey Rainer, You look FABULOUS! You say WTF? I say F'um. I'm not banded yet but have lost some weight. I have had all kinds of reactions from friends, etc. Last week I thought to myself "What have I done to start such a competition". I don't bring up my weight loss to people. But when they bring it up they usually ask what I have lost (close to 50lbs. and another 50 to go) and then they usually follow with some DA answer like "Yeh, I should lose these 6lbs." Like I should have sympathy for them or something. The girl that made the statement was standing there in her low rise Levis with a perfectly flat tummy.

I find it so embarrassing to walk into a group and one of my friends has to point out to everyone that I have lost. I don't want to be put on display. It is difficult to anticipate walking into a social setting. I would just as soon nothing was said and just let me lose my weight for me.

Hang in there. "This, too, shall pass".

OH Juli · April 22, 2008

Hey Rainer, You look FABULOUS! You say WTF? I say F'um. I'm not banded yet but have lost some weight. I have had all kinds of reactions from friends, etc. Last week I thought to myself "What have I done to start such a competition". I don't bring up my weight loss to people. But when they bring it up they usually ask what I have lost (close to 50lbs. and another 50 to go) and then they usually follow with some DA answer like "Yeh, I should lose these 6lbs." Like I should have sympathy for them or something. The girl that made the statement was standing there in her low rise Levis with a perfectly flat tummy.

To the six pound to lose person, I've been known to say, "Yeah it does start with the first 6 pounds you don't lose, it just keeps on adding and adding..."

Freaks them out.

Rain,

You look great. Back handed compliments are mean. Just wish the dieters luck and don't let it bother you.

rharriet62 · April 23, 2008

WOW. Yeah...first let me say...YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL..in both pix. I can only imagine now that you are feeling better about yourself and that is probably bursting out of your aura! You go! It's SO hard for people to accept change. Like you, I was the fat sister FOREVER. How safe is that to know that NO MATTER what, the others all have it on you in one area: SHE'S THE FAT ONE. Well, guess what? Not anymore!!! My older sister was always the thin and beautiful one. She is very threatened now and is always on Atkins, rides her bike 20 miles a day now, and is determined to be skinnier than I am no matter what. It is a huge threat to her. My other sis is better but mentions from time to time and I used to give her clothes that I was too fat for and now she's getting clothes that are way too big for me! It's a weird dynamic. I never bring up weight...they always do. It is hard for families because when you change, they are forced to change. Even if it's just their role they created for themselves!!! Grin and bear it? :blushing:

ReadySteadyGo · April 23, 2008

You look great. I think this is such a common problem because people like to compare themselves to people they are close to. They shape their ideas of themselves by how they compare to others esp, friends and family. Is a 200 lb person fat in a room full of 300 lb people? Is the chubby sister really chubby if she can call her sister the "fat" one. If the "fat" one gets skinny...does that make her the "fat sister" Oh sh*t Panic time. Why does their have to be a "fat sister" Why can't their just be sisters?

It comes from their own self esteem issues. People can be really self centered. Don't let it get you down.