My own worst enemy

[Ang1982 4]

I have been trying to decide if I would post this to my blog (which I may in the long run) but wanted to post it here for my fellow January's to read as well to see what others have to say, if I'm not the only one with this struggle (I can't be!)...

In 2 days (April 23rd) I will be 3 months post op (my surgery was Jan 23) and I have lost 33.5lbs (includes 5lbs preop) with my journey so far (tomorrows my "weigh in" day so I'm not sure if that 33.5 has changed much for the past week) and if you were to break that down to 33.5 lbs divided by 3 months that is just over 11 lbs per month. Although that's not how it was lost, it's been in spurts and stages - one week nothing, maybe gain a pound, next week down 4 lbs - I'm sure you all know how that goes... So all in all 11 lbs a month is a good start (even though a good chunk of that was lost in the post-op diet phase).

Despite my 33.5 lbs in almost 3 months I cannot help but feel I am my own worst enemy when it comes to this surgery. I have had two fills thus far and have slight restriction - I say slight because the only thing that stops me from eating when I have that full feeling is me - if I keep going I won't PB or anything of the sort.. in fact to date I have never PB'd or slimed. My food choices some days are less than fantastic (not all the time but definitely I'd say a good 65% of the time) and HATING cooking doesn't do me any favors (especially when you have to cook for more than just you). Yes, I eat WAY less than I would have post band that's for sure but I can't help but think I could be doing SO much better with this than I am yet even though I think that I can't seem to put it into action.

I want more than anything to be successful with this surgery but seem to be lacking that little "click" in my brain that tells me what I should and should not be eating. I have an appointment this Friday with my doc just as a general checkup/follow up and if I need a fill we will go from there. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I need to be one of those people that has the super restriction in order to make the best of this as opposed to one that can still eat everything but in lesser amounts (like I am now).

Thoughts, opinions? Anything?

Much luv.

[MrsFlipFlops 2]

Ang- I was banded in February, but completely have felt the same way as you. I can eat and eat and eat if I wanted to. No PB, no slime. It's so hard for me to push the plate away and say no, I tend to do it about 7 bites after I should. I haven't lost anything for the past two weeks and don't want to get on the scale tomorrow to show I've lost nothing in three! I'm getting so frustrated and hurt by MYSELF I don't know what to do.

All that to just say, you're not alone. I feel ya girl!

Heidi

[Ang1982 4]

Heidi,

As much as it is nice to know that I am not alone, I'm sorry to hear you are having the same struggle too.

It is definitely hella-frustrating. There are 3 things I KNOW I need to do in order to make the best of this:

1) Make /eat better food choices - do I reaally need Starbucks, a cookie, whatever...

2) Drink more Water

3) Exercise

Yet all 3 seem to be eluding me or rather I am eluding them and I want to stop but I just can't seem to grasp it.

Good luck to you girl!!

[brez1015 0]

hang in there. i have not lost much since my surgery date. i had my first fill 2 weeks ago. i go back in 2 weeks. are you walking ? sometimes that is easier than exercising. keep us posted. you are not alone

[mamato3 1]

First off, I think you should be proud of your accomplishments! 33.5 pounds is gone and that is awesome.

I think I was having some of the same thoughts/concerns/worries as you until I got really good restriction. Now that I have it... if I follow the recommended eating plan, ie: Protein first, then veggies, then fruit I actually do feel very satisfied! I do not get hungry for about 4 hours, sometimes more. I do not slime or PB. I'm not saying that I dont have the occasional "bad for you" snack. I DO! Probably way too often. In fact, I often think I could have lost a whole lot more by now if I would quit snacking. Night time is the worst for me. I like to munch on popcorn while watching t.v. I like to nibble on this or that while I'm on the computer. You get the idea..haha. I had my 3rd fill two weeks ago today and that is when I really started feeling restriction. I have lost 7.5 pounds since that fill! Prior to that I felt like I was at a stand still. Lose a pound, gain a couple, stay the same, drop 3, etc, etc.

I wish I had some magical advice for you. See what your doctor has to say. Maybe it's time for another fill? Have you considered having an "off" day? Like, follow the plan to a T for 6 days a week and on the 7th day just relax and dont worry about it? I dunno, it works for some people. Do you have any rewards set up for yourself? I am going to treat myself to a pedicure when I reach the 50 lbs lost mark. May not sound like anything special to some people, but for me it is just something that doesn't fit into our budget, so it is a super special treat!

Anyways, I'm just thinking out loud here and it is starting to look like I'm rambling on and on! Hopefully something I say helps.....

Remember, you are going in the right direction and you are doing awesome!!!!! :tongue_smilie:

[phowell 0]

I don't know if this will help you, but I'll throw it out there anyway. I could eat whatever I wanted until my last fill and now I really am restricted. If I eat too much, I will PB so I just don't anymore (every once in a while I talk myself into those last couple of bites--don't get me wrong--I am definitely not perfect!). But this last fill has been wonderful. I have this sudden feeling like I am in control of my eating instead of the other way around. It didn't happen right away, but I just sort of came to that realization. I also don't worry about everything I eat and that seems to be helping my weight loss! If I want something (even McDonald's or DQ) I eat it. I just TRY to order the smaller size (sometimes I still order like pre-band and it never works--even though I am STARVING ). I don't write anything down, and I am terrible about exercising. If eating counts as bicep curls, I am all over it! LOL. I really think it is all about a good fill. That is most of the battle. Good luck. Hopefully my rambling helped a little!

Trish

[AmyMT 0]

Hi Ang,

I am completely there with you. I was banded 3 months ago today and have only lost 24 lbs (but am able to fit into pants 2 sizes smaller). At times I feel like I should have done quite a bit more, and at other times I am just thankful that I have lost ANY weight at all. The end of February and nearly all of March were CRAZY :thumbup: stressful for me and my weight has fluctuated up and down the same 4 pounds for nearly a month now. I am frustrated, but trying with all my might to stay positive and on track. I read an article on Sparkpeople.com yesterday about diet rage. It compared dieting and losing weight to being stuck in traffic. We may not be moving along as fast as we would like, and there may be fits and starts to the process, but we will get to our destination eventually.

I think you are doing awesome losing 33.5 lbs so far!!

~Amy

[Crystalclear224 0]

Hi all, i was so happy to read this post I feel the same way! I was banded on the 24th of Jan and have lost 27lbs. Its fusterating when you know your exercising every other day for an hour and still no weight comes off. I just keep trying to tell myself that at least I'm feeling good and my clothes are feeling huge and I am changing my life even though it seems so slow at times. I wish I had taken my measurments the day before my surgery instead of just a picture and my weight. I feel as though I've lost more inches than the scale is showing. I just had my 2nd fill yesterday so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is the one. If not I will have another one but in the mean time i will keep on exercising and making the best food choices i can. I wish everyone good luck and I know that we will all get through this.

[jlobyxmas 0]

It is definitely hella-frustrating. There are 3 things I KNOW I need to do in order to make the best of this:

1) Make /eat better food choices - do I reaally need Starbucks, a cookie, whatever...

2) Drink more Water

3) Exercise

Yet all 3 seem to be eluding me or rather I am eluding them and I want to stop but I just can't seem to grasp it.

Thank god you said it cause it's what I've been thinking but didn't want to say. I talk to people that had surgery a week or two before me and they have lost 50 pounds:cursing: What?? 50 pounds---how the hell do u lose 50 pounds in two months, and more to the point, why can't I?????:glare:

I started the exercise thing, I think I'd rather have chinese Water torture:blink:. If I have to drink one more glass of water they are going to have to hook up the foley catheter for me so I can get some work done, without running to the bathroom every five minutes.

And yet I've only lost 20 pounds---that's right 20 pounds, where's the line to sign up for that "50 pounds in two months band", cause I think I got in the wrong line:w00t:

I think hella frustrating is the understatement of the year:w00t:

Try to hang in there girl, guess we should join the slow losers group:blush:

[Ang1982 4]

Thanks for the responses everyone. It gets so frustrating as I know you all know. Today was my weigh day so I jumped on the scale and I'm up 4 lbs. :glare::Dancing_biggrin:

My appointment Friday morning is for just a "follow up" and possible fill if needed so I am going to definitely ask for a fill as I know I need to have way more restriction - going at this on my own and telling myself when I need to stop eating is obviously not working for me.

I just want this to work so badly and I'm so afraid that it's not going to and it's going to be ALL MY FAULT!!

Jlobyxmas - I try not to compare myself to other people tickers (ie: those that say they lost 50 lbs) because I don't know what their preop diet was and they could have lost 20 of those lbs before surgery and then they would be at the same place I am. It is hard not to compare though.

Am I a "slow loser"? I don't know - I'm not sure if I have the proper restriction to be able to make that decision.

Best of luck to all of us and hugs all around!

[kaninag 35]

Girl YOU ARE SO NOT ALONE!!!

Much congrats on the total weight loss btw...and dont worry about those pounds gained you can keep going!!!!!!!!!

It seems like execising is the hardest thing for me 2 do...I saw my surgeon the other day and I go and have my second fill this thursday and hes like ok are you exercising...and as I am crossing my fingers I say of course at least 4-5 days per week....WHAT A LIAR!!!

I HATE TO EXERCISE!!!! and it seems like this last week I want to eat absolutely everything that I shouldnt....sooooo

you are not alone...and WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!

[Chrisann 0]

Hang in there, you guys are all losing, remember, you didn't get fat in a year, so its going to take at least a year to lose it.

Don't look at what other people are doing, they aren't you and you don't know what they really are doing to lose the weight.

Remember to journal what you are putting in your mouth, be it food or liquid. Remember to exercise, every little bit helps.

I am at 6.1cc's now, after 4 fills, and I think I am almost at, if not at, my sweet spot. Suddenly, not able to eat and eat, feel satisfied sometimes after 5 bites, sometimes can't even get liquid down. But you know what? The scale hasn't changed since my fill last week. Its going to happen.

Don't be beating yourselves up. After all, how many years has it been that you have seen this lower weight? For me, its about 6 years, 40 lousy pounds and I am back to what I was 6 years ago. If it wasn't for the band, I would not have lost a pound.

Remember that food is not your friend and is not your crutch, it is only needed to sustain your body. Make it impersonal.

[HeatherO 7]

This has been a very good thread for me to read. I am feeling the same as you lately. I seem to be struggling with the same 2 pounds up and down for several weeks now. I am working so hard but my resolve is slipping as HUNGER is starting to take hold again. I neeeed another fill, thank goodness I only have to wait until next Tuesday.

It is really great to know I am not alone in this struggle. :0)

[citygirl4616 2]

Hi...I am definitely feeling a little less alone after reading this post. I am about 3 months post-op, and have lost about 35#. I have made peace with the fact I am a slow loser. My biggest concern is inadvertantly causing myself to fail, and not allowing myself to use the band in the best way possible.

Here is what I mean. I have very good restriction, yet I lose a pound or two, then nothing for a week. This has been my cycle for the past 10 weeks. I am still fighting to change my eating habits. I find myself eating foods I crave (Pasta, rice, bread) when I am feeling stressed or tired (my old eating habit). Needless to say, these are not band-friendly foods. I get that stuck feeling, then I have no room for healthy, nutritious food.

When are my new eating habits going to kick in on autopilot? When will I not want to turn to food for comfort? I know if I did not have my surgery, I would not be down 35 pounds right now, I would probably be at an all time high. The lapband is such a wonderful tool for the physical portion of the weight loss, but the emotional part even harder!

[Megmarie21 0]

Oh Angie... I know what you mean:

think I am sabotaging myself as well and I dont know how to get out of the rut....I have restriction 6.6ccs in a 10 cc band. I dont know I guess I thought this tool would've been easier....I think in mind before

surgery I was going to change all my habits and lost a ton of weight.

I was going to be down 4 dress sizes by summer and people were going

to notice a differance in me.

Things I have changed:

Working out at least 2 days a week hard core

Eating less

Not drinking with meals

Eating somewhat better......still crave the Cookies though

Drinking more Water and milk

Things I still need to change

Exercising 5 days a week consistently

Waking up earlier in the morning (so I can get home earlier and make

it to the gym)

Eating healthy consistently (what does that mean....organizing my

meals? I dont know)

Thinking positively and not put myself down

Stop making excuses!!!

I am happy that I have lost 25 pounds and a dress size but I know that

I am not doing everything I can and its making me feel depressed.