Hi I am fairly new to the idea that a Lap band

Scottay5150 · April 21, 2008

Procedure might help my wife. We have been round and round and round with this nagging issue for about four years. She has been battling this issue for ten more!

I have been very supportive and encouraging since the get go. To further aggravate the issue I am not a MD:frown:. And I assure you all that it’s not about the looks of it! It is much more than that. And this is a WE issue for sure.

I know it bothers her to the core, makes her feel uncomfortable in her own skin and feels ashamed of the shape she is in.

These are the facts of the case AFAIK:

-Was an athlete in high school always height weight proportionate. Were 160 on a 5'6.5" frame

-At age 19 gave birth to second child 14 years ago, had complications, and was bed ridden for a few months before giving birth. This is when the weight gain started.

-Since then has been approximately 260- 280 lb till 4.5 years ago then dropped to 185 by not eating anything but lettuce and Water for 6 months. (This is when I met her)

-Then the climb was back on after I met her, back up to 285 ish.

-Last spring I gave her come to Jesus talk about her over all health and the weight was a part of it. And that I want her around for a long time and right now she may feel fine but it is not going to last (I know this I am older and not as bullet-proof either)

-I am a cyclist and moved to CO for the riding. I begged her to participate more on the bike with me. AND SHE DID:thumbup:. We started to commute to work 13 miles one way at least a few times a week and the weight loss was back on and dropped 50 pounds! (225)

-All of her blood work has come back perfect and normal, BP is fine, and the only issue is excess weight. (And nagging ankle issues related to the weight). The doctors have said that she is a specimen of health! TOTALLY FRUSTRATING!

-I have been watching her eating habits for some time now and what I am seeing is this. Eating sweets is her downfall, but not addict. Not eating for 5 or more hours is normal for her or worse yet not eating till 5 in the afternoon. I am not sure if this is as bad as I think? Or is it as simple as too much in and too little out?

It can’t be good? And if she is not eating enough calories she should lose? Is she over eating?? I am so confused I can’t tell you! Am I over analyzing everything? All I like to do is help her FIX this once for all. No more failing! Will the dietician really be the fix? I like to know. We are seeing are PCP (internist) for this issue and he is on board for the band. And the Dr. is saying 1400 calories is where she should be on a daily basis. I am thinking this better said that done.

Just getting the ducks in a row is going to be the hard part (I think). The question is what you guys and gals think? Am I alone in this. there were about 35 folks that have at least glancing at my post. I am truly looking for feedback.

Scottay

Edited April 21, 2008 by Scottay5150

thenume · April 21, 2008

Hello and thanks for posting!

Okay the "bad news" first. Your wife has to want the band before anything remotely succesful happens in that area. I can't tell if she is still unhappy with her weight or are you unhappy with her weight. If the doctor's say that she is the specimen of health then what's wrong? Why does that frustrate you? That is good news. Do you want her back down to 185 or does she want to be down to 185.

Now the good news...you got her to exercise with you and you two are doing it together! Her health is fine, I'm sure both you and your wife can see a difference in her physical appearence and endurance.

Also how many calories a day does your wife consume? Is she already in the the 1400 calorie a day zone?

Scottay5150 · April 21, 2008

Hello and thanks for posting!
Okay the "bad news" first. Your wife has to want the band before anything remotely successful happens in that area. I can't tell if she is still unhappy with her weight or are you unhappy with her weight. If the doctor's say that she is the specimen of health then what's wrong? Why does that frustrate you? That is good news. Do you want her back down to 185 or does she want to be down to 185.

Now the good news...you got her to exercise with you and you two are doing it together! Her health is fine, I'm sure both you and your wife can see a difference in her physical appearence and endurance.

Also how many calories a day does your wife consume? Is she already in the the 1400 calorie a day zone?

Yes she brought it up to me she wants the band. I am not sure that it is the band aid that she needs. Yes I think she wants to lose it to. I just don't know if 1400 calories is a reasonable way to live. The big issue with any program is there needs to be an adherence to the program. Can this be fixed? Is it an food addiction? Counseling helpful? If it is the habits then there will have to be lifestyle modifications. And from what I know that can take at least 6 months to a year. Like I said I am not thoroughly convinced that her diet is all of it. But what do I know. And for the Dr saying that there is nothing the matter... I am there is. It is the pink elephant in the room. I was always thought that your body was/is a machine that can gain if you eat to much.

Edited April 21, 2008 by Scottay5150

JustinsMama · April 21, 2008

Two things:

Your wife should be the one on here asking these questions (I won't tell you how annoyed I would be if my husband was on the internet trying to find a solution to my weight problem); and secondly (and maybe this has already taken place) you and your wife should be having this conversation, not you with a bunch of strangers on the internet.

I haven't been banded yet but, it is my decision, my body, my problem. It would do me no good for my husband to be the one doing the research, I'm the one reading up on everything and the one coming to the conclusion if this is or isn't what I need or if it will or won't help me.

One last thing, if I got the feeling that my husband was watching my every move with my eating habits and jotting down notes (figuratively speaking of course) about what my downfalls are as far as food, hell that would probably make me eat it all the more out of spite (not a healthy attitude but maybe you can understand what I'm trying to say).

Maybe I interpreted your whole post wrong but you are her husband not her father, she has to want this and be willing to do the research on her own also if she is a big girl and wants this done.

Good luck to you and your wife, whatever the outcome.

Enchanted · April 22, 2008

What DisneyFreak says in her post above mine is absolutely true. I did come away with the same feeling that perhaps you want to "help" too much. I know that may not seem possible . . . but if she does go with the band, it is going to be totally up to her to be successful with it. Perhaps show her your posts and our responses and use that as a way to further communication between you?

Counseling helpful? Invaluable, I say! Obesity is more than just about loving food. There are deep emotional issues connected with food. What started her overeating? What will replace food once the band is in place? Take a look at some of the threads here -- so many people mourning the loss of food, being confused about their feelings.

Our bodies are machines in that if we eat too much, we will gain weight. But, ah...if it were only so simple, none of us would be overweight, hm?

Yes she brought it up to me she wants the band. I am not sure that it is the band aid that she needs. Yes I think she wants to lose it to. I just don't know if 1400 calories is a reasonable way to live. The big issue with any program is there needs to be an adherence to the program. Can this be fixed? Is it an food addiction? Counseling helpful? If it is the habits then there will have to be lifestyle modifications. And from what I know that can take at least 6 months to a year. Like I said I am not thoroughly convinced that her diet is all of it. But what do I know. And for the Dr saying that there is nothing the matter... I am there is. It is the pink elephant in the room. I was always thought that your body was/is a machine that can gain if you eat to much.