kids stress = pg at dinner, anyone else

[donnabarney 0]

We eat dinner at 5:30 daily. I have 2 girls, 11 and 12 that ruin my dinner. does stress affect the band, that would cause pg. I know when they do this, I just want to get the meal overwith, and I eat too fast.

Is this stress related? I said the my hb tonight, that i will eat alone at dinner for now on. hopefully this works, if they don't behave. They are loving kids, but they like to push each others buttons.

I also go the full sign last night at the keg. I had the salmon with vegies, and got the tightness in my chest, and pushed my plate away. 2 minutes later the pain was gone, and I was happy. (by the way the kids were really good at that dinner).

I really don't want to miss dinner with my family, as this is our time to tell each other about our day, but my band comes first.

Any advice?

thx

[nikki_s 0]

Hi there,

I know i've had a similar problem.. My kids are 2 and 5yrs and squabble at dinner on a regular basis. I find it very stressful and I know it has caused me problems with the band, like eating too fast or not chewing properly etc. sometimes leading to discomfort and/or a PB.

I now give them dinner a bit earlier than me, so by the time I start, they are more than half way through theirs. At least we get to sit together this way. I have had dinner completely separate to them on occasion and they don't like being away from me - so I use this as a threat. If they play up, Mummy won't sit at the table with them.

It is still a struggle but it has improved alot. Sorry I don't have more advice, but if anyone else has ideas, I'd also like to hear them!!

Nikki

[maziemommy 8]

Going out with my 2 year old, and soon to be ex-husband.... does cause stress, and my band tightens up in no time. If I sense this coming on, I order one egg over easy! I'll never be able to eat a piece or 2 of bacon with it! Alone... I can easily eat 2 eggs and two bacon.

Good luck and great health to you. Kimberly

[2befree 0]

How long does the tightness lasts when it happens from stress? Can you feel it tighten or only notice you cannot eat much? Thanks for the feedback - our bodies are so bizarre how things can affect it!

[QuasiTova 0]

And, I thought it was only TEENAGERS that caused this...

When my teenage daughter causes stress for me at dinner with her "smart mouth", I simply pick up my plate and finish my dinner in the BATH TUB.

Yes, sounds strange, but it is actually very relaxing... and little by little she is starting to realize that she is hurting ME with her mouth... and listens to my warnings.

[Jesusislove 26]

I really had to limit my time with the kids the first week of post-op because they just argue and fight like something else. My husband dealt with the kids all last week because I would have not been Mrs. NIce mommy this week. They are 10 and 5 and one is a drama queen and the other is a intellectual. The two don't mix.

[donnabarney 0]

it is tightness, and lasts until I pg. Tonight I just pushed my plate away, and did not pg. I am not overeating, I get about a few pieces and they start being little brats. P.S. they are in their rooms right now. But they are feeling bad and mom to eat and keep her engery up.

[Cheryl Ann 2]

I try not to eat with them because of the exact same things you go through with yours, but even if I am eating alone, a fight breaks out somewhere in the house -- and it isn't long until they come running into the kitchen. I never enjoyed eating with them pre-band, because I felt I was choking my food down in between screaming at them to let me eat -- and now, of course, don't want them anywhere near me during a meal. However, they're beginning to understand that when I hold up my hand or point to my mouth, it's a reminder that I'm eating and to LEAVE ME ALONE.

I swear, living in the wild would be better.

[kbinaz 0]

I would tell them what is happening and how it is making things hard for you. They are old enough to know how to get along if they need to, and they are old enough to understand that this is important to you and why. Tell them if they can't get along THEY can leave and you and your husband can have a nice quiet meal together. Why should you have to eat alone?

[Scarlett O'hara 0]

Hi,

I am getting banded this Wed. so thanks for the warning!

[Cheryl Ann 2]

My husband comes home rather late, so dinner takes place hours beforehand. I sit with them when they eat, but it's easier to eat after they're done.

[Jachut 487]

I dont eat with my kids. We dont have family dinners most nights, Doug doesnt walk in the door till 7.30. I tend to feed the kids at about 6 and go out for my run while they eat and then eat with Doug later on. Family dinners ARE nice but its impossible for us to do every day anyway, so i dont worry about it.

But when we do eat together someone ALWAYS spills a drink or refuses to eat etc and yes, I get tight and cant eat.

[Telecia 1]

Well you could split your eating time up from the kids and just sit with them at the table and socialize.

But honestly they are old enough that they should know better then to act up at meal times. I would first sit them down and talk about it. Why this is important to you. And why you want them stop the nonsense at the dinner table.

I had a similar problem with my oldest 2. They would fight like cats and dogs till I got fed up with it and told them that they WERE going to eat dinner at the table with the rest of the family or they wouldn't eat. (At least not till later ALONE) My BF and I did this after they had me so upset I was in tears.

It took a couple of weeks. And I will be honest at first it was rough. And a few times we had to listen to temper tantrums from behind the door.

But the one who started acting up got sent to his/her room promptly.

"Drop that fork mister/miss and get to your room!!" LOL

And were not allowed out till dinner was done. Then they could sit down and eat by themselves. Which might not work if they like being alone but you know your kids best and I'm sure you can come up with an effective punishment.

Its so much nicer now. I can take them out or sit down at home and dinner time isn't an issue anymore. My oldest moved out so 99% of that stress left till he comes home to visit. But they STILL won't argue at the table. lol

The 2 oldest still bicker constantly when my sons home but the bickerings changed. Now he chews her out for giving me a hard time about things. lol

But the dinner time bickering actualy showed us which one was most responsible for starting things. Also which helped me stop allot of it before it got out of hand.

Stress can affect you way more then just the band so reducing it can help with several things.