I'm going through puberty again.

[Sooverit! 1]

1. Why am I sad? Cigna turned me down after over a year of working on going through all the hoops while others get covered at the drop of a hat. 2. Why does not being covered by insurance make you sad? Because I feel like the universe doesn't think I deserve this...but boo hoo. maybe I just need to work on this more and make sure I'm ready for this lifestyle change and giving up of a very strong food addiction.

Sad I really shouldn't go into debt at this time. Sad that I may die from being overweight and leaving my young daughter w/o a mum. Sad my sister died this way.

3. Why is death sad? Leaves people with a hole in their heart some time, not to mention big life disruption as well as a missing role, eg. missing parent, sister, grandma/pa. .

4. Who do you see passing soon? Ahh...hopefully not me, my daughter's only 11!

5. What can you do ? 1. Go to Mexico....though maybe too stressful to fly lately after a proceedure like this....2. Fight with Cigna more...fun. Get a equity loan and spread it out over 30- years.

6. What is stopping that from happening? I'll be lucky to get the loan and in 30 years I'll be 80 but husband could pay it off for me....Could get my neice to come w/me to Mex but always feel sick after being a plane lately.

[Sooverit! 1]

Cigna put up your dukes...wow haven't said that in decades

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Juli, thank you. I think I am going to write those six things down and put it on the wall for a while.

Screaming is so cathartic I think I will have to try it. I am sure the neighbors think I am crazy anyway because I like to sing broadway tunes loudly so they won't have anything new to talk about.

I have a vision in my head of you laying on the floor kicking and screaming with your child wide eyed staring at you. Made my day.

Thank you for your response, better late than never. I love the idea of a cut off date.

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Cigna put up your dukes...wow haven't said that in decades

I know you will win, you want it too much to lose.

[Ang1982 4]

Hang in there girl I think a good number of us have that happen, I know I did and still do occasionaly. I was a raging bitch, I would cry easily and get annoyed VERY easily - my poor fiance didn't know what to do with himself. And of course the fact that he is SUPER sensitive himself didn't help either because I would be crazy and it would make him feel bad or that it was his fault and then I would feel bad and yah.. crazy times.

It's getting better for me and it will get better for you too! *big hug!*

[hungry4help 0]

i can totally relate, RSG.

i've been on an emotional roller coaster too. and even tho she's been awesome since surgery, i've been picking fights with my gf for a couple of weeks now. my solution: i've been going to a few more spin classes and playing as much tennis as i can afford in nyc (it ain't cheap!). being tired doesn't leave me much extra energy to be bitchy. :biggrin2:

Edited April 21, 2008 by hungry4help

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

I worked out this morning and I have not shed a single tear yet...so maybe I should just wear myself down everyday.

Thanks hungry. Speaking of hungry. Atleast my fill did stop the hunger pains.

[taz 2]

I think I was very afraid of my first fill. As has already been said, it is a long-term scary commitment. We give over to the band because we have been unable to lose weight and maintain it without help. I think the first fill is reality punching us in the face (can you tell the whole process was a bit traumatic for me :tongue_smilie:). Anyway Ready, I think you don't give up very easily. I just hope you will not beat yourself up over this. As has already been said also, THANK GOODNESS this too shall pass.

[Turler 6]

RSG: Hang in there sweetie! You are gonna be okay!

~C

[Enchanted 2]

Sounds like you're already doing better.

If this continues, just remember that you don't have to feel this way. I have occasionally been on antidepressants. If you take them through a rough period, it doesn't mean you have to take them forever. (Just need to make sure you come off the right way.)

But...it does sound like you're doing better. Working out will definitely help, too.

Take care of and be patient with yourself. (And hope that your partner is, too!) :tongue_smilie:

I worked out this morning and I have not shed a single tear yet...so maybe I should just wear myself down everyday.

Thanks hungry. Speaking of hungry. Atleast my fill did stop the hunger pains.

[smgallop 1]

Thank you so much for putting this thread together. I am very mild mannered. I maintain a professional demeanor at all times and try to be a good example for my co-workers and daughter. However, I lost it last week when my boss gave me a some pressure because production my production was down while I was recuperating (sp) from lap band surgery early this month.

The discussion about hormones is very helpful! Thank you! I didn't know that was part of the lap band experience.

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Thank you so much for putting this thread together. I am very mild mannered. I maintain a professional demeanor at all times and try to be a good example for my co-workers and daughter. However, I lost it last week when my boss gave me a some pressure because production my production was down while I was recuperating (sp) from lap band surgery early this month.

The discussion about hormones is very helpful! Thank you! I didn't know that was part of the lap band experience.

I'm glad my experiences can help with yours. Your post got me thinking though...I haven't meet too many uptight fat people. Maybe because they found a way to deal with stress (even if it wasn't that healthy). I wonder even after I get over this rough adjustment peroid if I will be a more uptight like person.

[Mom2_4 0]

Hugs! This is such a roller coaster ride with so many changes in our lives. Do something good for yourself tonight and give yourself a break. Hope you feel better!

[birdyme 0]

Hi. I just wanted to let you know that the emotions seem to be a "normal" part of the process. In January I had for lack of a better explanaintion a nervous breakdown. I wish then that I had know about this web site it would have calmed my fears so much. I just want to tell you that I got past the fears and tears and now my life just seems to get better and better everyday. Hang in there, it is definitley worth it! :biggrin2:

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Update for anyone else going through the emotional thing. I feel so much better. I feel like I have settled into a new routine. I promised myself if it happens again before my next fill I will call my Dr and if it doesn't then I will wait until my next fill and tell him what happened after this one.

I do find myself craving ciggerettes again and I quit so effortlessly. I guess my body is reaching out for old addictions now that I can't be a bread junkie anymore.

Besides, that I've stopped crying everyday. The extreme up and downs have pretty much ceased, and I feel like myself again. I will just wait and see how it goes after my next fill when I get my intake even more.