I'm going through puberty again.

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

I have been so positive. My doctor told me that I would go through some psychological issues. I believed him, I really did.

I went through the liquid stage with minor annoyance for almost four weeks. I sailed through the mushies. I missed real food horribly but I was fine.

I got my first fill on thursday and I have cried, no sobbed, everyday since. It's been dramatic.

I didn't eat anything before the fill I was too nervous. I received my fill at 2, at 4 the next day when I got off work as soon as I got home I picked a huge fight with my partner. I never act like that. When she didn't rise to my bitching, nagging, and accusations I went through our apartment raging and even threw some nail clippers at the wall. I never act like this ever.

Then I took a long bath and got out feeling contrite and refreshed. I apologized and then two seconds later started crying and crying.

Last night I cried and cried until I thought I was going to lose my mind because my friends cancelled on plans we had for two weeks. These particular friends always cancel so it was nothing unusual about it. But it effected me terribly. Then my partner and I went to my bestfriends play which was hilarous and wonderful. I left happy and giddy and that is how I went to bed.

I woke up this morning and cried about my grandmothers stroke, and my grandfathers cancer and when that passed, I went to watch some tv. One the news there was this adorable senior citizens singing group "young at heart" they sang current hits and other hits from the 60's. It was touching. Then this guy with cancer who had a beautiful deep strong voice sang this slow sad song with his oxegen on and I started sobbing again.

I feel like I am going through puberty again. I am not an unhappy person. I am usually very positive, very happy, and strong. I can't stop crying. In fact I am tearing up while writing this.

How could someones whose life is going exactly the way they want it too be so sad? I have nothing to complain about. My life is as perfect right now as it could be yet I can't stop these tears. I feel ungrateful and embarrassed. I know I have nothing to cry about but the tears won't stop. I feel like my heart is broken but nothing broke it.

What can I do to stop these senseless emotions? What can I do to be myself? I know that I need a new way to fight my stress, but I don't realize I am stressed until it overpowers me like this. I guess I am used to pushing it down and before I would freak out I would eat it all away.

I am not crying for help, I am not crying from happiness, I not crying for anything. I am just crying. I just can not stop crying.

[Pix 4]

Honey right now your hormones are in a uproar. The hormones stored in the fat cells that are shrinking are being released back into your system so basically you are going through puberty again, just not officially. It will pass as you lose more weight. Just remember to take a deep breath and mentally remind yourself daily that "all is well, this to shall pass".

[gina0922 0]

My heart goes out to you. I am still pre-op and undecided if I will choose LBS or RNY. So I cant give you any advice as to this phase you are going through. I can only say I am sending you a great big {{{{{HUG}}}}}

Stay strong and remember that the ones who love you will always be there in your corner. They will understand that this is something you are going through and this is not your normal behavior. They will be there when you come out of this and their arms will still be open wide for you!

Hugs!

Gina

[Kat817 19]

As Pix said your body is being inundated with hormones right now. Estrogen is stored in fat cells, so as you begin to lose suddenly---it dumps it into your system. Well at any given time, all of our hormones strive to work in unison with one another and stay balanced, so when there is an influx of one, the others struggle to catch up or balance.

Another hormone that is in constant work to balance with estrogen is one called Gruehlin---it is from the stomach. It is referred to my Dr. said as the hunger hormone--it also triggers the release of chemicals related to diabetes. When we are banded the Gruehlin is greatly reduced, so our bodies release even more hormones trying to get it to pick up it's feet-------it is a circus gone wild for awhile!

They used to not understand the relationship between the female produced hormones and the hunger hormones, and it was seen as normal for a woman to go through menopause and get fat----or for a woman to have a hysterectomy, and get fat---it is because of these imbalances!!!

Soon, your body adjusts to the new balances......and works with them as opposed to trying to get it back the way it was---and you will calm down.

I was horrible--I threw things, yelled, and made a general nuisance of myself!!!

I used to have Migraine headaches, they were always hormone induced. I could never take birth control pills or anything, estrogen brought on horrid migraines---complete with visual disturbances, and nausea. When I had my hysterectomy 5 years ago, I quit having Migraines I loved it!!!

I got my band and within 2 weeks had 2 migraines, I was pissed off at the world!!! I had no idea!!! I have continued to lose the weight, but my body now has a handle on the changes, and I am much better----no longer in constant PMS mode!!

So sorry you too are going through it!

Kat

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Thank you all so much for your replies. I am tearing up reading them. I really appreciate your sharing and that I am not going crazy. I really thought since I went through the long healing diet I would be fine afterwards.

I am going to see my mom today I think that will help.

Keep sharing please, if you want. It helps.

[isabelle290 0]

I went through some crazy emotions too right after surgery. I think a lot of it is hormonal. Then I also think that we were so used to eating to cover up/ deal with emotions that it is hard to face how we really feel. Instead of eating, you have to cope with everything in your life. It is a hard thing to do. It does get better with time, so hang in there!

[Turler 6]

Another hormone that is in constant work to balance with estrogen is one called Gruehlin---it is from the stomach. It is referred to my Dr. said as the hunger hormone--it also triggers the release of chemicals related to diabetes. When we are banded the Gruehlin is greatly reduced, so our bodies release even more hormones trying to get it to pick up it's feet-------it is a circus gone wild for awhile!

I'm not sure this is correct. I don't wanna be a 'know-it-all' and of course I most certainly could be wrong.

My understanding is that ghrelin (the hunger hormone) is not altered with the Band. It is significantly changed/deleted with RNY as that part of the stomach is "cut off" from the rest. Ghrelin is highest before we eat (stimulating hunger) and is lowest after we eat. With the LapBand, there should not be any changes in hormone production/release other than what would naturally occur with weight loss.

I had talked to my surgeon about this once before, but now that you say this, I will ask again tomorrow when I see him. :thumbup:

~C

[Kat817 19]

Oh, well I have no idea then, this was just part of the lap band seminar information we were given, and he went into the whole theories involved, but I personally have no knowledge, or training involved.

I know my band has all but eliminated my hunger.....I love it!

Kat

[Turler 6]

Yeah, I don't know either. I personally am starving!! I've been hungry ever since I got my band, darnit. I specifically asked about this because I didn't want to be hungry all the time. I know once I start eating normal food I'll be better off and hopefully with fills I won't be hungry.

I don't know either. I'm not a doctor. I just wanna know for myself too. I would love it if I wouldn't be hungry!

Thank you Kat for all your wonderful posts. You know I appreciate you and I read your posts with much interest!

~C

[snowbird 2]

I've got something similar going on. I feel that with my weight loss I am going through menopause again. I have been having hot flashes after being free of them for about a year.

I think that the strain of surgery itself also causes some psychological pressures. It will pass. We'll get through this and come out stronger on the other side.

[mbanja 1]

I think we all go thru that! I certainly did. The only way I can describe it is RAGE. I felt like I was in a rage all the time. I just wanted to scream and throw things and hit things,etc. AND believe it or not I was on antidepressants at the time!! I just started a new birth control (my doc and I have been tinkering with different ones for a while now) and I seem to be feeling better emotionally. I have anxiety as well and tried ativan for it but it didn't help so now I just got a scrip for klonopin. I have only taken one klonopin so far but it calmed me down immediately. If you just can't handle this stage and wait for it to pass (I couldn't so don't feel bad) try talking to your doctor about a mild antidepressant or an anti-anxiety med. First though, be sure to tell your doc about ALL your symptoms (have your partner and you make a list of all the things that is happening to take to the doc), so that he/she understands and hopefully is able to perscribe something and get it right the first time instead of having to tinker around with meds. If you are just not comfortable taking meds thats ok but me I have to have something cuz I gotta little one and I don't want to take my rage out on her! Plus my hubby doesn't deserve to bear the brunt of it either. I am soo sorry you are going thru this. I hope it is over with quickly! Best of luck!

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Thank you all so much.

When I went to get my fill they asked me how I was mentally and emotionally. I said fine because I was at the time. When I go back I will tell him what happened and see if he thinks I should be on a mild form of medication.

I appreciate your input so much and will ask my Doctor also about the hormones, but I don't go back for a while so if you guys find out before me let me know what Your Dr. says if you don't mind.

Thanks again everyone. I feel so much better. Hopefully it will stay that way for a while.

[Sooverit! 1]

Dear VV:

I'm almost twice your age and have a river of pain and tears behind me. You are so wise for your age, to be this much in touch with your feelings is amazing. Firstly I think you should not feel guilty for how you are feeling. Birth and or growing pains hurt and you are in the process of birthing a new you...hang in there, keep breathing, take soothing baths, get rest and trust that this too shall pass and you will be a strong wonderful adult who doesn't need food to stuff down the emotions any longer. Be strong ....it'll all be worth it!

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Dear VV:

I'm almost twice your age and have a river of pain and tears behind me. You are so wise for your age, to be this much in touch with your feelings is amazing. Firstly I think you should not feel guilty for how you are feeling. Birth and or growing pains hurt and you are in the process of birthing a new you...hang in there, keep breathing, take soothing baths, get rest and trust that this too shall pass and you will be a strong wonderful adult who doesn't need food to stuff down the emotions any longer. Be strong ....it'll all be worth it!

I wish I could hug you, thank you so much.

[OH Juli 15]

Okay,

My gay sistah, btw, I love that you put your partner out there in your initial post. Got to love the out people. Thanks from all of us.

I wanted to write sooner but had other obligations...I hope you don't mind me coming late to the conversation.

Others have touched on hormones being released and emotional eating. I was initially struck with how it seems like you are greiving. You've given up your comfort mechanism and you can't go back. Ever. Not that you want to, but it's real and final and done. Now you need to find a new way to cope. What's a rational person to do?

Temper tantrums seem reasonable to me. Well, so long as you don't hurt anyone or yourself. And this will be a short lived phase.

I don't know if medication is the solution or if really wrapping your head around the tantrums will be effective for you, but certainly try different methods. I mean you've got to live in your skin and people do have to live with you.

One effective way to work your way through the rage is to just own it. Lay on the floor and kick and scream like a 3 year old. You might look foolish, but it feels great. I did it once when my kiddo was having a fit and I was going to beat the tar out of her. So instead I took a clue from her and did the same thing she was doing. She thought I was nuts. I thought it was effective at getting out my stress and no one got hurt.

As for the crying jags they will become fewer and longer spaced inbetween.

It's happening for the same reason a child has fits. You don't have the words to describe your emotions, and without the words you don't have a way to process the concepts.

This is from some business model I came across but a way to get answers and solution is something like the 6 Whys or the 6 questions. Example:

1. Why am I sad? I'm sad because this man has cancer.

2. Why does cancer make you sad? This person will die.

3. Why is death sad? People I love will be gone from me.

4. Who do you see passing soon? Grandma, grandpa

5. What can you do to connect with them? Visit write a letter, etc.

6. What is stopping that from happening? Make a plan....

I don't know what to say other than be kind to yourself right now. You need not add guilt or other stress to an already stressfull situation. Ask your partner for a little understanding and maybe an end date that until you meet it she'll be flexible with your bad behavior. Then she gets to say enough is enough.

Keep on writing. I'm sure many other people will propose solutions that will help you out. One of them is bound to give you peace.

Juli