Don't mother's hold their babies anymore?

[heartfire 4]

Oh and "failure to thrive" for a newborn is so VERY different from what we are even talking about!! That has NOTHING to do with whether or not I used a carrier at the grocery store for my daughter or held her the whole time instead.

[heartfire 4]

And once again.

For the rest of you - I love my daughter the bestest and mostest of ALL of you!!! So there!!

[Jennie1976 1]

Heartfire,

That's a lot of anger! I definitely judge how people raise their children (including my own family). I base my opinions on quite a few years of teaching. I also base my opinions on what I see. I sincerely doubt I have seen you personally, so my opinion is not based on you or what you did. What I DO see are babies in car seats in grocery stores, at friends' homes, at the child's home, etc.

There IS a growing trend of babies spending more and more time in car seats. To me, this is sad. Simply looking at it mathematically, that time is coming from somewhere. In the past, that child would have been in someone's arms or on the floor. When the child is in a store, I'm pretty sure he/she wouldn't have been put on the floor :-) (just a little joke to lighten the mood).

I did NOT read all of the threads (but I'm not sure how that matters as I was answering the first one), but I read quite a few of them (just in case it DOES matter). I discarded many of the SAHM threads because, to me, it was a very different discussion than the car seat issue (but I have very strong opinions on that one too..can you guess? :-) --Again...just a joke!)

To ME, there are many other (and less expensive) ways of carrying your child AND doing the things that need to be done than a car seat. I will not back down on that opinion. To ME, what's best for the child is to be held. Science actually proves this (see "failure to thrive" again). I'm sorry you disagree, or feel that I was attacking you personally, but, quite honestly, I do not retract anything I said. I do (and will continue to) feel sorry for children who spend so much of their lives in car seats...time, that in the past, was not.

Edited April 14, 2008 by Jennie1976

[Jennie1976 1]

Sorry, just saw your last post...and let me reiterate: I am not saying that people who leave their babies in car seats constantly are going to kill their babies. That's just stupid. Failure to thrive is obviously an extreme. But, to me, leaving a child in a car seat for so long contributes to many of the same issues (to a lesser degree...obviously) That's like saying hitting someone is the same as stabbing them. While both leave injuries, they are not the same.

[heartfire 4]

Wow! Anger!?! I didn't know I was angry. I thought I was just frustrated with some of the posters who have an all or nothing attitude.

[blahblahblah 4]

well, I'm so very upset now...

because I love my children the most x infinity plus 10...so there.

Rainer

[Kat817 19]

It is rather like comparing apples to oranges. Both have their place.

Personally, when out shopping, I feel the carrier or car seat is ideal. When I am pushing the cart with one hand, and picking up this and that, and unwashed veggies etc....I would prefer not to be touching the baby all at the same time. The infant is in a supportive sanitary environment, able to see my face and listen to me as I shop.

When I get home, get my hands clean, and can devote my attention to the baby as opposed to comparing prices, and keeping my cart out of other shoppers ways...then I can play and cuddle all I want and enjoy the time....not being distracted, where both only get a half hearted job done.

Many babies feel comforted by their carriers. It is a safe and secure place---it feels the same each time, they are settled with it. Strapping them in is similar to swaddling an infant.

People recognize this in pets, and support kennel training a dog, to learn to self sooth, and have a safe space. Ironically children are similar!!!

Many, many children hit the car seat and are out like lights----it is not punishment.....

I realize fully that nothing, absolutely nothing can take the place of cuddling and bonding with your child, but that is not to say out in public, while attending to other chores, is the place for that bonding to take place.

There is a time and place for everything, and safety is an issue. Most new carseats for infants that snap into the buckled in base, have a latching mechanism, as has been mentioned that allows them to latch onto the shopping cart. If latching is not an option then by all means it would not be safe.

Newborns in the hospital with a failure to thrive issue, are not that way as newborns from lack of human contact. Many reasons cause the issue, and many do better with the human contact, others it reverses.....but they have not had time to be "neglected" in a carrier vs. cuddled in Moms arms.

I just do not get this whole issue. Where I live there are many Native American Indians who use Papoose boards, flat, wooden boards, that the baby is wrapped in Navajo blankets then laced into the completely flat board, they are unable to do more than turn their heads side to side. They have used these for generations, they were the original baby backpackers! Many of the children even into school age, are still totally flat headed in the back---seriously! Do I think they feel unloved? No, that is what is normal to them!

Kat

[Shalee04 7]

Well I had a 3 year old, then twins. So there was NO WAY I was going to hold my kids while out shopping. Now if one baby started crying and I had someone with me to help out, Then of course I would pick up and comfort the crying child. But for the most part, any time we were out in public my babies were in thier seats. At home the kids got held ALOT. Seems when you have twins people come out of the woodwork to see them and hold them. But I know I got little sleep that first year as it seemed one was always awake and wanting to be held, then the other when the first one went to sleep.< /p>

They are now 22 and my oldest is 25, all thrived very well.

I don't think anyone should judge another person by seeing them in a grocery store with a baby seat.

Just my 2 cents.

[~Sheila~ 0]

I have 3 kids, 6,2,& 8 months.

This last time, after delivering my baby in August, The NICU warned us about having a few cases of babies that had died from SIDS while sitting in a car seat, asleep, in the house. They said to not have your babies sleep for over an hour straight in the car seat. It was the way their head flopped over...ect...

We were more cautious after hearing that, since we hadnt heard it with our first two, so we were more aware of it after our 3rd.

That being said.....

I swear by this. Its made my life so much more easier. I take it everywhere with me, and its SO easy to use. I can wrap this around me and put baby in it, and hold my 2 year olds hand, when going into the store...Its a lifesaver. :huh2: Moby Wrap, Inc.

[babygrl1234 6]

I am the angriest because I actually love mine the most.

[Jachut 487]

I never actually used carrier, as I went with a 0-4 car seat that couldnt be removed. But I had a beautiful new pram with each baby, lol, and then some. I think I've owned about 17 prams and strollers, I had a bit of a fetish. I once bought a new one the same as what I had simply because it came out in a new fabric.

Dont even get me started on disposable diapers, lol. I love MY children the best becuase I never ever put one of those nasty things on any of their bums. So there.

Do you reckon we could have a civilised debate on breast v bottle? My tits are saggier than yours because I was still feeding them when they could run to the other side of the room. Did you know the female breast can stretch to about 3 metres long? Well, mine can anyway.

Or should we just get back to goal weights? That seems a nice safe topic!

[Kat817 19]

I have 3 kids, 6,2,& 8 months.

This last time, after delivering my baby in August, The NICU warned us about having a few cases of babies that had died from SIDS while sitting in a car seat, asleep, in the house. They said to not have your babies sleep for over an hour straight in the car seat. It was the way their head flopped over...ect...

We were more cautious after hearing that, since we hadnt heard it with our first two, so we were more aware of it after our 3rd.

This can happen at any age, when the head flops like that! My daughters half brother (my ex's son from his second marriage) has permanent brain damage, caused by this problem. Zach was 7 years old, they were driving from NM to IL, and he was buckled into the back seat, and fell asleep. Well he was not arguing nor tormenting his 3 younger sisters, so they let him sleep. When they stopped for whatever reason they could not wake him up. Somehow the way the shoulder strap of the seatbelt come across, had pushed his head into a position he was barely getting any oxygen---and he suffered from oxygen deprivation, for long enough to cause permanent brain damage!

This has been many years ago, long before they had any kind of booster seats for kids of that age----but I am sure statistics such as what happened to him, is part of what has them pushing the legality of using car seats/booster seats to an older age.

I know there were times my grandkids were sleeping in the car, and we brought them on in the house asleep in the car seat and let them finish off their nap---but to put them in it any other time in the house, I cannot imagine why......

And my 44DDD are going to end up 38DDLooooooongs----which the weight of them alone will likely keep me from making my goal weight!!!! :thumbup:

Kat

[blahblahblah 4]

JAchut...

It seems as though are breasts are similar in their elasticity. My boobs, between nursing my oldest for 15 months and the twins for 20 months, are the most pathetic nasty looking things in the world. They are like an accordian when I lay on my side...they fold into themselves. UGGGHHHH!!!

But..my nasty tits are proof that I love my children the most!

Rain

[Jachut 487]

Dang! I'll have to check whether my accordian is better than yours....

Actually, I'd like a breast lift but preliminary advice is that a lift alone wont be enough to fill the empty skin (unless I want to go from a DD to an A cup!). I may need an implant on top of the muscle also. Not sure I'd want to do that - what about mammograms and breast lump detection etc in the future?

Car sets, sheesh Kat, that's scary. I get lip from Eliza all the time becuase I make her sit in a booster seat in the car still -she's five (birthday in March). She's noticed all her school friends jsut sit on the car seat, or even in the front. Its law in Australia that children remain in a booster till they're 7 or their eyes are level with the top of the seat in front of them. How hard is it to use a foam booster seat for crying out loud? Its just the regular seat belt, not fancy buckling, but it just lifts her so the seatbelt works properly.

[babygrl1234 6]

Well damn. I guess since I could not nurse, I am not going to win the Mom of the year award. Shit, I really thought I loved them =)