Sigh...I can't stay on track!

[isabelle290 0]

I agree- some great things in that post to think about Salsa!

Weight loss is so hard because there are so many emotional elements to why we eat. I had a bad day today with food:bored: and this post has made me realize I just have to get real about why I had this surgery to begin with.

We are all in this together and we just have to keep trying to do our best no matter how hard it is-

[July5forMe 0]

Laci, I think I was there a long time ago. Maybe months ago. I didn't go down the right path. I got caught up with my love for food and couldn't stop. At first I didn't gain or lose weight so I was okay with it because I wasn't gaining at least. But then I stopped weighing myself. Then one day you get back on that scale and you've gained. Yep! You can gain and you can gain even more than you've lost. I know this is your struggle and not mine but I feel for you. Because I went through that and here I am months later from where it sounds you are now and I'm still struggling with it. All I can say is don't wait long. Look for your help right away. go see your doctor or any support groups you have available to you. That's one thing I haven't done so I would say that's something you should do if you don't want to be where I am now.

I battled with the depression and i'm just now getting it under control. It's not easy. Not at all. But the quicker you work at getting them resolved the easier it will be. Don't put it off like I did. Make the appts and stick to them. Good Luck to You. I feel what you are feeling and I know we can make it go away. Deep inside weknow what we need to do.

[Laci 0]

Laci- Are you ready for some tough love? NOT CONDEMNATION! If you are not ready at this time, that if fine. Put it away in your mind that someone has given you some and come back here when you are ready. By the time I get to post this you will probably have 100 other replies, but I want to take my time and post what I really want to say. This is a post that I wrote to someone else and they felt like it gave them some practical advice. I hope that it works for you...if not, then you forget that you even read it! And 60 pounds is an amazing feat so you know you have it in you.

Okay...here goes the tough love. And this will be a long post!

Nope the Easter candies were not a good choice, but you ate them and now you need to move on and NOT do it again. You can't change what you have done but you can make better choices in the future. So the question is HOW IN THE WORLD DO I DO THAT? Well I will tell you that the answer is NOT going to come to you when you have "chocolate" (which will now stand for anything that is not healthy for us for the remainder of this conversation) staring at you in the face. You have to have the tools and the mindset BEFORE that temptation ever comes up. We have to be ready to turn around at any particular moment and have a piece of chocolate shoved in our face and realize that we are stronger than the calories, fat, sugar and peice of inanimate object that we are looking at. It gets harder as we have lost the weight and become a little more comfortable with our bodies. At first we were hell bent on getting losing, losing, losing. Well the newness has worn off and now we are just stuck with the realization that we will always have to fight the "chocolate".

Alright I am all about being practical so here are some suggestions that I have.

1. Take a piece of paper (one that you can fold up into your wallet/purse/pocket ) and divide it into sections. You may have to write down everything and then rewrite it to get it to all fit.

a. Write down all the reasons that you had MAJOR, LIFE THREATENING SURGERY. Not the reasons that you wanted to just lose weight, but what caused you to make this drastic change in your life.

b. Write down where you think you would be health wise in 10 years. What disesases, illness would you have? What meds would you be on. Look at your family for "inspiration". For me my mom died at 53 weighing 350+ pounds and had heart disease, diabetes, sleep apnea and a whole host of other disorders. Within 10 years, I was going to be there.

c. Write down why you are more powerful than chocolate(this one is tough!)

d. Find some typical foods that you would love to eat (your chocolate) and look up the calories and then find out how much time you would have to spend working them off in the gym.

e. Write down what about you makes you important enough to overcome your demons.

f. Now you are going to want to fit all of this on a piece of paper in bullet form so when you are faced with you brownies you can look at it and allow you to mentally fight the war that has just come up. If you can justify eating that brownie after looking at your paper, then eat it, but have no regrets, and do not dwell on it. Instead you have faced the problem UP FRONT and not looked back on it.

2. Another possible tactic if you are having a tough time getting your calories down. One thing that I have found that helps me is by eating the same foods that I like but with some simple substitutions and by finding ways to remove some unneccessary ingredients. For example. I make this dessert that had 1/2 cup of frozen berries, 2 TBSP of Cream cheese and 1/2 cup of granola. The cream cheese had 60 calories and I thought..."I wonder how this would taste if I didn't put the cream cheese in it". I tried it and guess what, I couldn't even tell that it was missing. Same thing with meatloaf. Instead of eating it with ground beef now I substitute grond chicken. As long as I keep all of my veggies and other healthy fillers in, I can't tell the difference. I really learned this from Subway. I found that if I went in and ordered a foot long sandwich (obviously pre-band) and got all this deli meat and cheese and then pilled it with my favorite veggies that I all I could really taste were the veggies anyways. So first I got rid of the meat and then the cheese, and the taste of the sandwich hardly varied at all. This is what I do all the time now. I will always fix something first and then think what can I do to lower or eliminate the calories without harming the integretity of the dish.

3. This is the one that everyone is going to hate. WE JUST HAVE TO HAVE WILL POWER SOMETIMES. Yep the age ol' dieting nightmare. Our will power will not always be perfect, but we have to be able to stand up to ourselves and tell ourselves no. Before this surgery I couldn't tell anyone NO, including myself. So when my stupid head told me that I needed to go to Carl's Jr and get 2 big hamburgers and eat them in the 4 minutes it took me to get home so that I could look famished for dinner that was going to be served in 30 minutes...I never said no. NOW, I am comfortable saying no. It has helped me professionally, personally, and mentally. I thought that everyone would hate me if I said no, but now they no longer just expect things out of me. And I don't just give in to all of my brain's wishes. That is making me a better person.

4. Talk about your surgery. I have to honestly say that one of the greatest factors to my success is the fact that I have been open and honest about the surgery. I don't care what other people think about me. Go to 1A of this email and that should show you why there is nothing to be ashamed of. The more you talk about the struggles and successes of your surgery the less likely people are to shove food at you. We have one lady in our science department that brings in treats every week. After the 2nd week of school I told her about my surgery and not ONCE has she come in and offered me the food. She told me, if you ever want it, you may have some, but I don't want to push something on you that you obviously don't want. Yesterday at the staff meeting, the administration gave little food baskets to everyone for all there hard work during scheduling. However instead of a food basket I got a nice card signed by all the administrators, because the know that a food basket is pointless to me. I don't feel singled out, I feel very blessed that these people care enough about me to know what I need. Some people can't make these connections on their own and they need you to school them. You need to POINT BLANK tell your people, I CAN'T have this food here. And yes that means YOU too. I know this is tough, but I had to do it with my dad, my DH, and my brother. I asked them if they would offer a beer to a recovering alcholoic. All of them said no, and then I said then why in the hell would you offer me a cookie!

Wow I knew this would be long, but I had no idea how long. If there is any advice in here you don't like. Think about why you don't like it. Is it because it is hard...well guess what CHANGING is hard, but maybe just try part of it. If you don't like it because it goes against all of your moral beliefs, then ignore it. I will never know and it will not hurt my feelings. Even if you came back and said "Salsa you are full of crap and are an idiot" I would think " her loss!" and keep on lovin' ya. This is what friends are for. We have to be here during the good times and the bad. We have to be able to look (or type) at the other person and say "stop being an idiot" If we don't do that as friends, really we are no better than an enemy.

Good luck.

Salsa, thank you for such good advice. You really reminded me to put things back into perspective. Just what I needed to hear! I am going to do what you told me to do and get back on track!

Also, thanks to the others who responded to my post. The advice is priceless. I hope to encourage others who are feeling like I do/did.

Thanks again!

Laci :wink2:

[OH Juli 15]

I just want to say, today is a day I needed to hear this message.

I'm struggling to get my eating aligned with my goals. I've let obstacles get in the way of progress.

No more. Salsa's advice was great. Eveyone's encouragement is fantastic. I just pretended like you were talking to me. Hope you don't mind Laci!

[Laci 0]

I just want to say, today is a day I needed to hear this message.

I'm struggling to get my eating aligned with my goals. I've let obstacles get in the way of progress.

No more. Salsa's advice was great. Eveyone's encouragement is fantastic. I just pretended like you were talking to me. Hope you don't mind Laci!

Oh Juli, I don't mind at all!! We are all in this battle together! Salsa rocks!! Today is a new day for me and I am taking everything Salsa said and running with it! I am happy for everyone who wants to take this good priceless advice lol!! :biggrin2:

[salsa1877 10]

I am really glad that this helped you. I honestly have followed my own advice and I think have been very successful. In fact...I just ran my personal best at a 5K race on Saturday.

Good luck and keep on trucking...after a while, it really does become second nature.