Sigh...I can't stay on track!

[Laci 0]

Sigh... I had the lapband surgery Nov 06. I have lost about 60 lbs and still have about 40 to go. I cannot seem to stay on track anymore. I am eating like I used to presurgery. I am so depressed. I have been through therapy and everything. I hate to admit this and I will probably get condemned for it but I couldn't help it, I went and bought half price Easter candy the day after, why you ask? I do not know! I haven't gained any weight, but I haven't lost any either! I am at my wits end with myself. I am so depressed. Does anyone have any words of wisdom? Please, I don't need anymore condemnation, I do enough of that to myself, I promise you that. Thanks for listening.

Signed, hopeless Laci.:confused2:

[AngelBuddy 1]

:thumbup:Get back on the horse again. Let the past be the past and focus on today. Don't look at it as a "Big picture" idea. Take one day at a time and do the best you can do. No sense in fretting over what you have and have not done. You have come a long way be proud of that.

[Cerrin 3]

OK for me I am keeping myself on a tight Financial leash.

This helps me with eatting out and buying the extras. Not saying I wont eat out. but I have to think about the cost (money wise) And that help me. I am not good at depriving myself.

If I tell myself I CANT have something...that is what I am going to crave. I have to play that mental game with myself.

you can do it. I have faith in you.

[Katie328 0]

You can do this sweetie. I'm kind of in the same position as you. I had done great for two years, then I got a bad bug and my dr. unfilled me completely and I was that way for a year. That's when the weight came back 100%.

I was soooo depressed too, but you know what. I had to let that go. I had to or I would have eaten myself into oblivion and killed myself! So I am starting over, and I'm trying to be uber positive and telling myself I can do it! Some days are very hard, but you know what, if you have a bad day with it, so what?! Just start over the next day again. Let that one go to and just keep truckin'!

You can do this my dear!!!! Let's do it together!!!!!!!!!!

[Laci 0]

You can do this sweetie. I'm kind of in the same position as you. I had done great for two years, then I got a bad bug and my dr. unfilled me completely and I was that way for a year. That's when the weight came back 100%.

I was soooo depressed too, but you know what. I had to let that go. I had to or I would have eaten myself into oblivion and killed myself! So I am starting over, and I'm trying to be uber positive and telling myself I can do it! Some days are very hard, but you know what, if you have a bad day with it, so what?! Just start over the next day again. Let that one go to and just keep truckin'!

You can do this my dear!!!! Let's do it together!!!!!!!!!!

Ok Katie, you are a sweetie, lets do do this together! I need a good friend and its good that we are in the same boat! Everyone gave such good advice! I am sorry for what all you went through. I am worried because I am about to go see my grandma and I wish she had NEVER found out I had surgery because she hounds me to death about how much weight I have lost. That puts pressure on me and makes me want to eat more:sad:.

Thanks again for the support. I look forward to doing this with you! Hugs!!

[chooselifegail 0]

Hi there this is my first time topost but I am very much in the same place as you were feeling here. I was banded Feb of07 and have lost about 40 lbs but sense Christmas I have been gaining and loosing the seme 5 llbs back I have given up chocolate as I thought that was my problem buy still am not loosing. I know I can eat more than I should be now and I need to contol it better but seem to be hungery all the time. I know I am not to loose to need a tightning as I still get sick from time to time if I eat scrambled hamburger or doughy bread etc. sol It has to still be tight enough. I hope I haven't streched myself out to much from my bad habits. Any suggestions would be helpful to get back with it. It is just to hard I was pucturing the pounds just melting off me but this has sure not happened at all and I am frusterating. I never eat more that 1500 cal a day and still do not loose.

[slimmy120 2]

I find a 30 minute a walk every day helps, i must admit some days i dont, but some days i get carried away, but gets my metaolism going without much effort then, then i feel less hungry as well and weight comes off.

[jjsmiles 3]

chooselifegail

You haven't said what you weigh at this point, but you may find that you can't actually eat 1500 calories a day and lose weight (especially if you are not physically active). You can do a search on google for BMR (can't remember what it stands for right now) and can enter your stats and can find out how many calories you need on a daily basis just to stay alive - I think mine (can't remember right now and I did it a while ago when I was heavier) was around 1650 calories. Now do the math - if I ate 1500 calories per day and didn't do any extra activity, I would be at a deficit of 150 calories per day. Science says that to lose a pound you need to use 3500 hundred calories more than you take in. At 150 calories per day, it will take me 23.33 days to lose 1 pound. (My body doesn't totally believe the science, but it is the accepted version of weight loss at this time).

Most nutritionists recommend that you look at your BMR and cut out around 500 calories daily from your BMR to lose about a pound a week (500 calories per day x 7 days = 3500 calorie deficit = 1 pound). If you want to lose more, you need to cut out more or increase your physical activity significantly.

My second point is, and I say it a lot in this forum, a simple way to start getting on track is to start journalling or logging everything you eat (including the quantities and if you are counting calories the number of calories). You may be shocked to find that what you think is 1500 calories is actually higher.

I also find it works very well for me in controlling my eating, because if I am having to write everything down, I have to make a conscious choice to eat it and not just eat it and pretend I didn't (or maybe even I forgot that I ate it). I find this simple tool helps me make better choices (do I really need that piece of cake - will 1 cookie or something healthier do?) and makes me so conscious of what I am eating, I may choose not to eat anything, but go do something or have a glass of Water instead . I may still choose to eat the cake, but at least I have done it consciously and I try to account for it through the rest of the days menu.

[jjsmiles 3]

Copied from PreventDisease.com

BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate)

Your BMR, or basal metabolic rate (metabolism), is the energy (measured in calories) expended by the body at rest to maintain normal bodily functions. This continual work makes up about 60-70% of the calories we use ("burn" or expend) and includes the beating of our heart, respiration, and the maintenance of body temperature. Your BMR is influenced by a number of factors, including age, weight, height, gender, environmental temperature, dieting, and exercise habits.

Because of the increased activity of cells undergoing division, the younger the person, the higher (faster) the metabolism. And the taller and heavier a person is, the faster their metabolism. Because of the greater percentage of lean muscle tissue in the male body, men generally have a 10-15% faster BMR than women. Restrictive and traditional diets may cause your BMR to drop as much as 20%. People living in tropical or very cold environments generally have BMR's 5-20% higher than those living in more temperate climates. In general, depending on the intensity and duration, consistent exercise will also increase your BMR.

Note: BMR calculators should only be used to provide a rough guideline on daily energy expended. Actual values cannot be attained using such calculators, and may be quite inaccurate depending on several factors such as geographic location, body-type, diet, body composition, supplementation and some genetic factors. Values which extend +/- 15% above and below your calculated BMR may be a more accurate representation of your actual BMR range as daily fluctuations are constant and your BMR is rarely the same on a daily basis.

[Daisalana 33]

I am eating like I used to presurgery.

If I said this, it would be time for a fill!! If you can eat as much as pre-surgery, go get you a fill and get back on the horse! Forget the past, and move forward. If you think about the past, you'll give yourself a reason to continue to fail.. Just make it through one day at a time, then make it through the next.

[WestCoastFatGuy 3]

Sigh... I had the lapband surgery Nov 06. I have lost about 60 lbs and still have about 40 to go. I cannot seem to stay on track anymore. I am eating like I used to presurgery. I am so depressed. I have been through therapy and everything. I hate to admit this and I will probably get condemned for it but I couldn't help it, I went and bought half price Easter candy the day after, why you ask? I do not know! I haven't gained any weight, but I haven't lost any either! I am at my wits end with myself. I am so depressed. Does anyone have any words of wisdom? Please, I don't need anymore condemnation, I do enough of that to myself, I promise you that. Thanks for listening.

Signed, hopeless Laci.:confused2:

My advice?

Cut the crap and give yourself a big freakin' break! You've lost 60 pounds! Do you realize how well you have done?!? You have lost twelve.. yes 12 bags of sugar off from your fat body! Put 12 bags of sugar in your grocery cart and see how much that really is!!!! You are an inspiration, not a failure!

For God's sake! Of course you're going to encounter times like this! You have been fat! You think you DESERVE to be fat! You are sabotaging yourself because you don't think you are worth it! The candy fools you into thinking that you are weak. If you were, indeed, weak... then you wouldn't have lost 60 pounds!

You're just sick of dieting and sick of the crap. Talk to your surgeon. Maybe you need a fill.. who knows?!? But, regardless.. just start tracking your food intake again like you did at the beginning. I know that it's hard to do after so long, but when you do.. your common sense will kick in and you will avoid the temptation. NO ONE could lose 60 pounds and not be a strong person! I use a simple program to log my caloric intake called DietPower (Diet Power Calorie Counter, Diet, and Weight Loss Program). It keeps me from ignoring the obvious and makes me responsible.

You are almost there! You have the whole world ahead of you and NOTHING can keep you down! F*ck the Easter candy! It is POWERLESS over YOU! Keep coming back to these boards and we will support you through these tough times. Before you know it.. you will be at goal and you will be supporting someone else who is going through the same difficulties!

I am soooo proud of your accomplishments! You are the reason that these support boards work!

[Maincat 14]

WestCoastFatGuy is right - you've lost lots of weight. Celebrate that.

I have found what helps me is to have other interests that means I don't have my weight loss dominating my thoughts. An example is I'm studying for Microsoft Server qualifications which takes a lot of my mental energy. I also have the support of my family which has been essential to keep me on track sometimes. My weight loss is just another aspect to my life. Perhaps you could find a new interest that takes your mind off weight loss?

Forgive me if you don't find that useful, just passing on what's helped me.

[salsa1877 10]

Laci- Are you ready for some tough love? NOT CONDEMNATION! If you are not ready at this time, that if fine. Put it away in your mind that someone has given you some and come back here when you are ready. By the time I get to post this you will probably have 100 other replies, but I want to take my time and post what I really want to say. This is a post that I wrote to someone else and they felt like it gave them some practical advice. I hope that it works for you...if not, then you forget that you even read it! And 60 pounds is an amazing feat so you know you have it in you.

Okay...here goes the tough love. And this will be a long post!

Nope the Easter candies were not a good choice, but you ate them and now you need to move on and NOT do it again. You can't change what you have done but you can make better choices in the future. So the question is HOW IN THE WORLD DO I DO THAT? Well I will tell you that the answer is NOT going to come to you when you have "chocolate" (which will now stand for anything that is not healthy for us for the remainder of this conversation) staring at you in the face. You have to have the tools and the mindset BEFORE that temptation ever comes up. We have to be ready to turn around at any particular moment and have a piece of chocolate shoved in our face and realize that we are stronger than the calories, fat, sugar and peice of inanimate object that we are looking at. It gets harder as we have lost the weight and become a little more comfortable with our bodies. At first we were hell bent on getting losing, losing, losing. Well the newness has worn off and now we are just stuck with the realization that we will always have to fight the "chocolate".

Alright I am all about being practical so here are some suggestions that I have.

1. Take a piece of paper (one that you can fold up into your wallet/purse/pocket ) and divide it into sections. You may have to write down everything and then rewrite it to get it to all fit.

a. Write down all the reasons that you had MAJOR, LIFE THREATENING SURGERY. Not the reasons that you wanted to just lose weight, but what caused you to make this drastic change in your life.

b. Write down where you think you would be health wise in 10 years. What disesases, illness would you have? What meds would you be on. Look at your family for "inspiration". For me my mom died at 53 weighing 350+ pounds and had heart disease, diabetes, sleep apnea and a whole host of other disorders. Within 10 years, I was going to be there.

c. Write down why you are more powerful than chocolate(this one is tough!)

d. Find some typical foods that you would love to eat (your chocolate) and look up the calories and then find out how much time you would have to spend working them off in the gym.

e. Write down what about you makes you important enough to overcome your demons.

f. Now you are going to want to fit all of this on a piece of paper in bullet form so when you are faced with you brownies you can look at it and allow you to mentally fight the war that has just come up. If you can justify eating that brownie after looking at your paper, then eat it, but have no regrets, and do not dwell on it. Instead you have faced the problem UP FRONT and not looked back on it.

2. Another possible tactic if you are having a tough time getting your calories down. One thing that I have found that helps me is by eating the same foods that I like but with some simple substitutions and by finding ways to remove some unneccessary ingredients. For example. I make this dessert that had 1/2 cup of frozen berries, 2 TBSP of Cream cheese and 1/2 cup of granola. The cream cheese had 60 calories and I thought..."I wonder how this would taste if I didn't put the cream cheese in it". I tried it and guess what, I couldn't even tell that it was missing. Same thing with meatloaf. Instead of eating it with ground beef now I substitute grond chicken. As long as I keep all of my veggies and other healthy fillers in, I can't tell the difference. I really learned this from Subway. I found that if I went in and ordered a foot long sandwich (obviously pre-band) and got all this deli meat and cheese and then pilled it with my favorite veggies that I all I could really taste were the veggies anyways. So first I got rid of the meat and then the cheese, and the taste of the sandwich hardly varied at all. This is what I do all the time now. I will always fix something first and then think what can I do to lower or eliminate the calories without harming the integretity of the dish.

3. This is the one that everyone is going to hate. WE JUST HAVE TO HAVE WILL POWER SOMETIMES. Yep the age ol' dieting nightmare. Our will power will not always be perfect, but we have to be able to stand up to ourselves and tell ourselves no. Before this surgery I couldn't tell anyone NO, including myself. So when my stupid head told me that I needed to go to Carl's Jr and get 2 big hamburgers and eat them in the 4 minutes it took me to get home so that I could look famished for dinner that was going to be served in 30 minutes...I never said no. NOW, I am comfortable saying no. It has helped me professionally, personally, and mentally. I thought that everyone would hate me if I said no, but now they no longer just expect things out of me. And I don't just give in to all of my brain's wishes. That is making me a better person.

4. Talk about your surgery. I have to honestly say that one of the greatest factors to my success is the fact that I have been open and honest about the surgery. I don't care what other people think about me. Go to 1A of this email and that should show you why there is nothing to be ashamed of. The more you talk about the struggles and successes of your surgery the less likely people are to shove food at you. We have one lady in our science department that brings in treats every week. After the 2nd week of school I told her about my surgery and not ONCE has she come in and offered me the food. She told me, if you ever want it, you may have some, but I don't want to push something on you that you obviously don't want. Yesterday at the staff meeting, the administration gave little food baskets to everyone for all there hard work during scheduling. However instead of a food basket I got a nice card signed by all the administrators, because the know that a food basket is pointless to me. I don't feel singled out, I feel very blessed that these people care enough about me to know what I need. Some people can't make these connections on their own and they need you to school them. You need to POINT BLANK tell your people, I CAN'T have this food here. And yes that means YOU too. I know this is tough, but I had to do it with my dad, my DH, and my brother. I asked them if they would offer a beer to a recovering alcholoic. All of them said no, and then I said then why in the hell would you offer me a cookie!

Wow I knew this would be long, but I had no idea how long. If there is any advice in here you don't like. Think about why you don't like it. Is it because it is hard...well guess what CHANGING is hard, but maybe just try part of it. If you don't like it because it goes against all of your moral beliefs, then ignore it. I will never know and it will not hurt my feelings. Even if you came back and said "Salsa you are full of crap and are an idiot" I would think " her loss!" and keep on lovin' ya. This is what friends are for. We have to be here during the good times and the bad. We have to be able to look (or type) at the other person and say "stop being an idiot" If we don't do that as friends, really we are no better than an enemy.

Good luck.

[shortgal 5]

Laci, I think this is a common problem. You've lost 60 pounds, you no doubt, look better and feel better. You're happily fitting into smaller clothes.

The part of your brain that craves those old foods is saying " ok, Laci, you're done. You've done a good job, now give me the food I crave/want".

Only you can decide if you're going to listen to that part of your brain or not.

Try remembering when you were 60 pounds heavier. Were you depressed and miserable then, like you feel now? Use those feelings to convince yourself you are NOT going to feel like that again. Get mad at that part of your head that is sending these messages.

Take out some old photos of yourself at your heaviest and decide that you are not going back there.

Join weight watchers if you have to, but come up with a plan that you can work with and hook up with your new buddy, Katie.

You can do it!

[jjsmiles 3]

Great post Salsa. Thanks :biggrin: