Relationships after Banding

[msdimples29 0]

My husband actually likes me the way I am. But he is excited about the weight loss. I think he will have more trouble adjusting to it than I will. He is just used the overweight me. I think it will be a bonus for us both.

[ecbailey 0]

I think i willbe more apt to come on to my husband while I am doing dishes b/c I won't break the kitchen table!

[QWINNER 0]

That is very funny about the kitchen table. You go for it girlfriend.

lol

[BeachBabe(soon) 0]

I get all that your saying. Thechatrooper asked about possessiveness and jealousy.

I know my attitude will change for sure when I lose weight, but if my DH starts getting jealous, what does that mean? What, wasn't I worth it before? And you know what, know one is bitchy ALL the time. And if your s/o nows you feel bad about your weight then maybe HE or SHE should make more of an effort to make you feel special and beautiful. I only love you and appreciate you when your happy?

I want to be loved when I'm sick, grouchy, mad, sad, fat, skinny, bald, pmsing, going through menapause, yelling, crying, rich or poor!!! Am I asking for too much??

It all does come down to how your relationship is NOW, that'll tell the future.

[QWINNER 0]

I didn't really get the possessiveness/jealousy thing from the post, but that is just my interpretation. Those 2 things wouldn't factor into a relationship as if they are a part of a relationship then there is no relationship to begin with. I understand what you are saying about a spouse loving eachother during all aspects of their lives. That is a given, however, it is often difficult to love a person who isn't loving themselves very much at one given moment. Life isn't always perfect and neither are our spouses. Lets face it, Being 100 lbs or more overweight does add stress to us personally and stress to our relationships. That is why people spend billions of dollars on diet products and surgery. Weight has nothing to do with how much a person loves you but it sure makes things better in many ways. Simple as that. For me, anyway.

[vinesqueen 2]

actually, I know that relationships can fail because of weight issues. I almost left my DH because of his weight and the problems it was causing. But his weight was totally out of control, and it was having a serious negative impact on everybody in his life.

[one too many 1]

Well guys you are all right however.As I have not yet been banded but soon to be...I have to say when I have lost at least some of my excess if Iam not getting loads more shagging/attention Iwill not be a happy bunnie.As you can see this is one of the perks I believe to loosing weight.MORE SEX.Men need sex and I have always felt yes my DH loves me but sex was more to do when he needed it other than when he my fancy it.If you understand what I mean.Therefor my hope is if I look sexier, feel sexier it had better bring more.If not I shall be pretty pee'ed off.

[thechatrooper 0]

Thanks for all the great comments =)

I suppose it's really just my insecurities that are making me wonder. And I'm sure I haven't helped by pushing him away when I've felt unattractive and haven't wanted to be touched, so I totally see where everyone is coming from about the "attitude adjustment."

I guess I've just been wondering a lot how this would affect things between us.. every time I bring up the surgery to him, he NEVER says ANYTHING. It somewhat bothers me. I wish he would be excited for me, express interest, anything. I suppose maybe he doesn't know what to say... like I'm thinking maybe he thinks that if he acts excited, he'll feel as if he's making it seem like he's unhappy with me. And if he's unhappy with my decision and expresses that, maybe he feels as if I'll be pissed.

I've felt kind of strange telling a lot of people about the surgery... did everyone else feel this way? Maybe it's just the fact that I'm younger, and some people my age can be judgemental. I was actually going to hide it from my friends as I wasn't sure how they'd react, but then I eventually decided to tell them. I have a small group of close friends, and everyone was really great about it and really happy & supportive.. they all said they'd work out with me afterwords... and when I told my friend Broc about how I was bummed about being on the month-long liquid diet, he exclaimed, "It will be cool, we'll all just go to juice Bars for that month!" so I'm really glad I told them. =)

[CaramelDiva1922 1]

I have been banded for 3 weeks now, nad have lost 26 lbs. My BF was concerned before the surgery that I may leave him. Which I couldn't fathom. We had a discussion and talked about our fears and concerns, and I understood him, and he understood me. I was really surprise to think that he thoguht that I would leave him, because he is a hunk. He's 6'2 and about 200lbs all muscle. He has like 6% body fat, and I was just so shocked that he thought that he would be left out in the cold. He always tell me that he loves me and he doesn't care about my weight, and I believe him. He is always the first to notice nsv's too. He'll say that he noticed that my fingers are smaller while we were walking and holding hand, and things like this. It really surprised that he notices things that I don't notice. I think that you should ,really discuss this with your bf, and get eveything out in the open. Communication is the key to any relationship fat skinny or anything otherwise.

[lapbander081004 7]

It should only be our hearts,minds, souls and spirits that direct our relationships. It should not matter what size house this all lives in. But who ever is going to occupy that house with me has to be communicating on the same level or slightly above mine.

I have been married 31 yrs and hope that its another 31 yrs. Even though when I got married the preacher told me I could have 16 more wifes, 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.

I'm simply downsizing the house all my feelings live in. If my other half doesn;t like the change the suitcases are in the basement on the top shelf. But I don't think she is interested in trying to train another one...lol

Good luck to you all in your relationships and I wish you find happiness and love

[Zoe 6]

when I have lost at least some of my excess if Iam not getting loads more shagging/attention I will not be a happy bunnie.

LMAO! Yeah, that's yet another reason some of us got the band. Weight loss often brings confidence gain -- yes, basic emotional self-confidence, but also confidence in our own bodies. Male or female, coupled or not, straight or gay, it's nice not to fear averted eyes or looks of shock and dismay (even if only in our own heads) once the clothes come off! Thanks for starting this thread, t.

[smellycat 0]

Jack,

I'm attracted to you by your words. Articulate and fun to read!

--smellycat

[Guest swttuth]

Well I so agree with alexandra on her thoughts. Because my relationship sucks! No sex, no hugs, no real kisses, never doing anything together especially in public all because I am fat and he says I am DISGUSTING. My self esteem has gotten so low, I can't take it anymore. I'm done! That is why I have decided to get the lap band so that I can find my own happiness on my own with or without him. I have had if for being fat and feeling sorry for myself and have a man that supposedly loves me make me feel so badly about myself. I don't know what will happen after I lose this weight but I know one thing for sure I am living my life to be happy and healthy. I want to LIVE! I can't wait for april 5. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Nykee 13]

I date young cute boys casually.. fairly often..

But in my weight loss I hope to land me a real man.

[Alexandra 55]

I have to say when I have lost at least some of my excess if Iam not getting loads more shagging/attention Iwill not be a happy bunnie.As you can see this is one of the perks I believe to loosing weight.MORE SEX.Men need sex and I have always felt yes my DH loves me but sex was more to do when he needed it other than when he my fancy it.If you understand what I mean.Therefor my hope is if I look sexier, feel sexier it had better bring more.If not I shall be pretty pee'ed off.

I hope you find what you seek. To be honest, increased sexual activity has not been a side effect of my losing weight. Of course, there are loads of other issues in our lives that can impact our sex drives and every situation is different. I'm just saying don't place all your eggs in the weight-loss basket--sex is a multi-faceted thing.