Parents - Where are your kids?

[PhotoEgor 0]

Okay, I had to respond to this thread on several levels.

First of all, I used to work at the Disney Store. I can't even tell you how many parents would ask us (COMPLETE STRANGERS) to watch their kids while they did a little shopping...including infants in strollers! Or, how many times the mall closed, we would have no adults in the store, but there would be kids (sometimes even under 5) who said their parents told them to wait in the Disney Store. Unbelievable.

Secondly, as a teacher, I can walk into a classroom and tell you which parents spank their children and which don't. Which parents beat their children and which don't even know who their teacher is. Which parents push every illness on their child (allergies, ADHD, etc.) and which parents have a much firmer view of reality. Which parents will reluctantly do SOMETHING with their child if I call them daily and which parents will just not answer the phone because they are still asleep. And this isn't even MY classroom...this is any classroom. After so many years of teaching, I think you can just tell about 90% of the time.

I can also tell you that my parents would always believe the adult. I can't tell you how many parents blame ME for their child not doing their homework. For their child making a bad choice on the playground. For their child (fill in the blank).

I had a parent call me racist for telling their child (who was born in the United States...as were her parents) that she was American. I've had a parent yell at me because their child had to call home for not having an assignment done and she didn't want to deal with it. I had a parent ask me 3/4 of the way through the school year, "What time do they get out of school again?" Now, mind you, I had called this parent DAILY before this to come pick up their child on time. I've had MULTIPLE parents pretend to not speak English so they wouldn't have to deal with their child. I had a parent who lived about 1/2 mile away have her children walk to school in pouring rain and forty degree weather with no socks, and in shorts and T-shirts. No jackets (even though they had them...I made sure of that earlier in the year). She was just too lazy to get up and give it to them. I had a parent yell at me because her daughter fell during basketball practice, got up, spent the rest of the practice running, but mom was convinced her ankle was broken. The kid spent 2 hours on crutches the next day, figured out that they were hard work, and decided her ankle was fine. I've been to a student's house (yes, I do several home visits a year) and have a john waiting outside until I left so that he could go inside where mom and older sister in high school were prostitutes (CPS did nothing).

I had another teacher tell me something very interesting this year, and I"m planning on using it in the future. Education responsibility has three parts. I am 1/3 responsible, the student is 1/3 responsible, and the parent is 1/3 responsible. When that child is at home, that means that the parent is now 2/3 responsible. Do the math!

Okay, enough of my ranting. I LOVE my job and wouldn't change it for the world. But, even after almost ten years of teaching (a pittance to many teachers, I know), parents STILL surprise me!

Well said on all fronts. :biggrin:

gk

[babygrl1234 6]

I can also tell you that my parents would always believe the adult. I can't tell you how many parents blame ME for their child not doing their homework. For their child making a bad choice on the playground. For their child (fill in the blank).

This is what the problem is. I had a parent chew me out when I worked in daycare because they had to pick up their daughter that had kicked another child. There was no way that their baby could have possibly done this (I witnessed it) and if she had, then there must have been a good reason (the boy had taken her coloring sheet from her). They were pissed I was not sending the other child home also. Umm hello? You child just physically assaulted another kid. I am not talking a little kick in the leg. This was some high style kung fu shit. I could not believe that they had accused me of lying to them. And to top it off this kid was one of the biggest misbehavors. How they could not know she was trouble was beyond me. Only child, spoiled.

[tonya66 13]

Wow - Jennie - I'm shocked! I just can't believe some people today. It makes me so sad to hear that parents treat their kids that way.

It makes me angry that parents just let their kids run wild, it makes me upset that they don't care enough to take time to visit with their teachers. And it makes me livid when they don't know how to dicipline a child. Either they beat them to death, or, they do no dicipline because they just don't care. Dicipline - doesn't always have to be spankings, my kids lose their priviledges and that is major dicipline to them. When they were younger, I did spank them, but it was always done with love, and I always tried not to lash out just because of anger. I wanted to correct their behavior. I always made sure they understood "why" they were being diciplined. It amazes me that children get diciplined and really never know why.

Its just crazy the way some people act, its just sad.

[Jennie1976 1]

Babygrl...I totally understand. But, then again, here could be another problem. I have a senior from the high school come into my classroom as an aide 3 days a week (I teach 5th graders). She came for the first time yesterday and I found out she had just transferred here from another nearby town. Why did she transfer here? This high school offers child care. Gee, could that be a problem?

[anonemouse 1]

Babygrl...I totally understand. But, then again, here could be another problem. I have a senior from the high school come into my classroom as an aide 3 days a week (I teach 5th graders). She came for the first time yesterday and I found out she had just transferred here from another nearby town. Why did she transfer here? This high school offers child care. Gee, could that be a problem?

Well, if it keeps her in school it's better than her having to drop out because she needs to take care of her baby.

[Daisalana 33]

...my kids are neatly tucked away in my ovaries.

[Jennie1976 1]

Well, if it keeps her in school it's better than her having to drop out because she needs to take care of her baby.

Honestly, if her having to drop out makes other girls THINK before doing something stupid and they make good decision, then I'm fine with it. I'm more interested in her baby having a good life (not a statistical probability with a 17-year-old mom), and other girls who HAVEN'T screwed up their lives yet than her life. She made her decision.

[anonemouse 1]

Honestly, if her having to drop out makes other girls THINK before doing something stupid and they make good decision, then I'm fine with it. I'm more interested in her baby having a good life (not a statistical probability with a 17-year-old mom), and other girls who HAVEN'T screwed up their lives yet than her life. She made her decision.

And then she turns into one of the parents that you mentioned earlier (especially the hooker mom), and the whole cycle continues. At least if she stays in school, there's a chance (small, granted, but still a chance) that she can make her life better and get herself and her child or children out of the cycle of poverty/pregnancy/welfare/etc. Her baby will have a better life (at least, for as long as the girl is in high school) than it would have if she had to leave school and get a job to pay for the baby's daycare, and it'll continue to have a better life because the mother will have at least a high school diploma.

[Kat817 19]

I too was an overprotective parent. My child did not just go spend the night somewhere--nor did I allow kids in my home I did not know, and speak with the parent. Yep it led to a lot of hostility from 3 teens at times, but so what! They had plenty of friends--they only had 1 Mom, and 1 Dad at home!!!

They all survived it....and are productive members of society---now having children of their own. Which leads to my reason for joining this thread.

My oldest DD has a little girl, she is 3 now, and very well behaved. I actually babysit for her while my DD works. She works a good schedule and spends a lot of time with her child. She has rules, and my granddaughter follows them the biggest part of the time. She is a child, and she does talk back--and goes into the corner for it!

My Son--has a son. He is 2. He is WILD! Uncontrolled! My DIL does not discipline him at all. My son works long hours---and says he refuses to spend what little bit of time he gets with him punishing him non stop. Which I understand, but still view as a cop out. I will say if he brings him over on his days off---he does make him behave. DIL does not. When she shows up--she goes off duty....but gets pissy if we try to make him behave. He throws things, he hits, he does not try to talk---but he is smart as a whip! He watches you do something once, and he can do it! His hair was long and shaggy, because he threw a fit everytime she tried to get it cut.....he got his way....as usual.

We used to go out as a family once or twice a month for Breakfast. Well we have quit, because to go to a restaurant with him is beyond embarassing! The floor is atrocious when he finishes!

Where do I step in as a grandparent? This son lives on our property next to DH's parents, (babies great grandparents) who allow him to go wild there too. They have cleared all end tables and put everything out of reach!

I raised my kids and ran a daycare for years, and never put things away---but never faced this either. Anyone have any ideas?????

And as a side note--the girl across the street teaches 4th grade. She did a home visit, and saw several bongs sitting out on the table when she walked in....when Mom saw her she was livid! Told her she had not been invited to leave! So Jenn-my neighbor-informed the school of what she had seen, and it went through the channels. Next thing you know the kid was pulled from her class, and she was informed there was a restraining order to keep her away from the families home----the police saw nothing when they went, and thought maybe the Mom was right, that the teacher was finding ways to pick on the child!!!

Heaven Help us all!!!

Kat

[Jennie1976 1]

And then she turns into one of the parents that you mentioned earlier (especially the hooker mom), and the whole cycle continues. At least if she stays in school, there's a chance (small, granted, but still a chance) that she can make her life better and get herself and her child or children out of the cycle of poverty/pregnancy/welfare/etc. Her baby will have a better life (at least, for as long as the girl is in high school) than it would have if she had to leave school and get a job to pay for the baby's daycare, and it'll continue to have a better life because the mother will have at least a high school diploma.

True...the mother is more than likely inept. However, the point I was trying to make was not for her personally. It was for the four or five other girls who are dissuaded because this girl was kicked out. Sacrificing her for the four or five others is what I'm okay with. Because then, instead of 5 or 6 kids that way, I only have 1.

You see it all the time -- people talking about how wonderful someone is who beat drugs/alcohol/teen pregnancy. Those are NOT the people who impress me. The people who impress me are the ones who don't make the stupid choice in the first place.

[babygrl1234 6]

I had my daughter at 19 and I can say the single greatest thing that has kept my friends from making the same "mistake" that I did was watching everything I had to go through. They saw me struggle. They saw me miss out on many of the things I wanted to do. I was very blessed that I had excellent parents to help me out and by that I mean they did not raise my child. They were there to help me if I needed childcare while I was in school or work and to make sure we had food and a roof over our heads but beyond that I was on my own in doing everything. If I wanted to go out on a Friday night, I had better of lined up some child care. If Korrine was up in the middle of the night, I was up too. I was taught to take care of my responsibilities and deal with the consequences of my actions.

I would rather that girl get through school and make something of herself. Then we will not be paying her welfare. Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone learns from them. The people who learn from their mistakes are the ones who impress me.