Story of Band Sabotage

[lmtorb 3]

I would like to tell this story to reinforce the fact that the band is a TOOL, not a "cure" for weight loss:

My wife works with a man who had the band one year ago. She thinks he has only had one fill. To date, he has lost a total of 5 pounds!!! He has failed to get fills when needed and is able to eat pretty much what he wants, and does!! He does not eat Protein first, and often not second or third. He finally heard her talking about me getting my second fill 8 weeks post-op, so he scheduled one for himself, probably out of guilt. He now is trying desperately to force down bread, cheese, crackers, and any other type of carb you can imagine. He told her he JUST NOW learned that he should not drink when he eats, so apparently he has not listened to his doctor and/or dietician.

I don't want to discourage anyone out there by telling about his 5 pound loss in a year, but DO want to let people know that they MUST use the band to their advantage and not try to sabotage it just to see if they can. I can't imagine going through all the appointments, arguments with insurance and then the surgery just to try to "beat the system"!! I am doing well myself and love it and feel so much better!! But for those of you who think the band is a magic solution, you need to get that idea out of your thoughts. It takes work, but IS very do-able if you just make a little effort!!

[MeganA 35]

I've read journal articles and have watched lots of support groups talk about the band. From what I can tell, sabotage is definitly prevelant among bandsters. Some of us (will) do it once and awhile, while others, it seems, continue to try and make the band work without working themselves.

To those veterans out there- how do you stay on track?

Megan

[Alexandra 55]

I haven't met many bandsters face to face, or even spoken with any who have done this. I admit to being a little mystified at this behavior, if it's done long-term. I mean, everyone goes off their own personal wagon sometimes, but that's why I had my wagon IMPLANTED!!

Leo, that person has done more than just not comply--he's gone out of his way to fail. Why on earth did he have the band in the first place? Was it his idea? He clearly had no idea what he was getting into.

This is the problem with statistics: people like this are included. When I used to worry about the failure rate of a certain birth control device, I always reminded myself that failure rate included the people who didn't know how to use it correctly. The figures of failure among people who did use it correctly are much, much lower. THAT'S who I'm in with, this time.

[lmtorb 3]

Alexandra,

Larry, not Leo, but in answer to your question, yes, HE was the one who wanted it and he seemed to be all fired up about it. It just didn't last long. Mystifies me as well!!! I'm doing everything I can to do the opposite of him!!

[BandAid 3]

Originally posted by Alexandra

that person has done more than just not comply--he's gone out of his way to fail. Why on earth did he have the band in the first place? Was it his idea? He clearly had no idea what he was getting into.

I just want to point out that this is not a lap band specific problem. (Not that you said it was, Alexandra, but for people who might read this and think it is..) Anyone who isn't mentally ready can and often will sabatoge the weight loss.

I'd be curious as to who his surgeon was. If, in fact, this guy didn't know about not drinking with meals, etc., then I have a real problem with the doc. Yes, I believe people should do research on their own, so the guy shares part of the responsibility, but something as simple as the post-op diet should have been mentioned SEVERAL times to this patient.

[jla78 3]

This actually brings up a point that *really* concerns me. It seems that many people are just signing up to be banded, without doing adequate research. This is not directed towards anyone in particular, but I have noticed that many people get the band, and are then shocked that they have no restriction pre-fill, or that they aren't supposed to drink when they eat, or that it sometimes takes more than one fill to do the job. I just wonder--how can someone have major surgery w/o knowing what they are getting into??

Banding is not just a quick solution--you have to be educated about the journey, and you have to be prepared for it mentally. Most people who get the band have really thought it through. But those who haven't really concern me.

Larry, it's unfortunate that this man has only lost 5 pounds, but the good thing about the band is that he *can* change his course. Perhaps by following your lead, he will find his way to success. First things first though--he sounds like he would without a doubt benefit from some serious therapy. Maybe you could gently suggest it.

Good luck to him, to you, and to us all!

Janeen

10/18/02

Dr. Ren, NYU Medical Center

306/226/225mg/165g

[BandAid 3]

Originally posted by jla78

I just wonder--how can someone have major surgery w/o knowing what they are getting into??

Janeen,

It's crazy isn't it? Of course, I've also had conversations with people who claim to have the lap band, when in reality the procedure they had was vertical banded gastroplasty.

I had a very heated discussion with one woman who claimed that her husband ended up dying due to complications from the "lap band", which he supposedly had in 1980. I *tried* to explain to her that it was impossible that he had the lap band, and she accused me of playing head games with her!

I also have a friend who had gastric bypass who wasn't aware that she might have to deal with vomiting on a regular basis.

I just don't get it. Heck, if I had to have an ingrown toenail removed, I'd probably be in the internet, reading about the latest procedures and advances in the treatment of them. ROFL

Tonia

[donali 57]

This is an unfortunate situation that highlights the fact that our WEIGHT is not our problem - it is a symptom of our problem.

So when we refer to the band as a tool, people assume it all has to do with "a tool for weight loss". It doesn't - the band is our tool that helps us with the physical hunger part of our problem, and the volume part of our problem. For some people, that is enough, and they don't really dig much further psychologically, and they succeed in the surface goal of weight loss. They may not have solved the underlying psychological/physical reasons for their weight problem, but as long as they have their band, they are considered "successful".

For others, such as the man in this example, this one tool is not powerful enough to combat the symptoms of his real, underlying problems. I have no doubt that his sabotaging actions are motivated through a real fear of changing. No doubt it is difficult to know prior to surgery that you are too fearful to really change. Most of us have symptoms of this same problem on a smaller scale - those of us who have spent small fortunes on exercise equipment, gym memberships, exercise videos, diet supplements, etc., and then never used them... All of these things were tools that would have helped me, but I didn't put them to good use. Some things I haven't even opened!!! It was as if I felt buying them would be enough... lol

I am grateful that so far my band has been a very effective tool for me. Apparently my tools have to be permanently implated into my body before they work... lol

My heart goes out to this man, as he is undoubtedly in a great deal of emotional pain. I hope he is able to find the help he needs to feel successful in his life.

As focused as we are on our weight and wanting to lose it, I hope none of us ever forgets that regardless of how we look, we are valuable and worthwhile beings. It is what we make of our lives, not our weight, that is important. Being slender is not a cure all - just look at all the rich, beautiful celebrities and how miserable their lives can be - drug abuse, broken marriages and relationships, depression, suicide... Being slender will not make those things go away. We have to heal our inside selves to be truly happy in this life.

[bbrecruiter2000 1]

Hey everyone,

Just thought I would comment and add my two cents;

Its a shame when people have a procedure and do not know what they are getting into. I have to admit that despite all my efforts to research everything I could about the band and my options before my procedure, there was still a lot I did not know and I am learning everyday from other lapbanders. For the people out there that do not have internet access or have surgeons that have little experience, it is understandable that they do not know everything they should. Many of the surgeons do not offer good post op support and if you were one of the early bandsters, there weren't many people for you to talk with!!!There is so much conflicting information out there that it is easy to be misinformed or not informed at all.

I have to admit there was a moment in the the first eight weeks where I had doubts whether the band was really a good investment for me. Mostly my doubts were based on the fact that I did not have restriction and thought; "IF I have to work so hard dieting now, will I fail in the long run?" I am sure if the gentleman in question had more information and a good fill in the beginning, maybe the outcome over the last year would have been different for him. The best part for him is that as long as the band is there he most certainly has the chance to educate himself about proper nutrition and better eating habits and try again!!! As they say, there are no free lunches! Now I only have cheaper ones......

Babs in TX

6/23/03

-43 and counting

[Alexandra 55]

What a great thread! Larry, I'm *really* sorry I got your name wrong. Forgive me? Comes of reading too quickly...

It seems amazing that there are doctors out there who would implant the band and walk away, but honestly when I think about how much (or how little) info I got from my doctor it's easy to see how it happens. Those informational sessions held with RNY and band people are a joke, as are the combined support groups. My doctor didn't even hand out the Inamed handbook--and that's so EASY to do! How hard would be be for a doctor to point someone at a couple of websites? Then there's the syndrome--especially epidemic in men, I think--of being simply resistant to discussing medical issues at all.

Tonia, like you I have a hard time understanding how anyone would agree to go under the knife(!) without asking a few more questions. Not even knowing the name of the procedure is pretty scary.

Donali's point about habitual saboteurs being afraid of change is really right on the money, and gives me a lot to think about.

[lmtorb 3]

I really think this man had ample opportunity to become educated but just didn't do it for some reason. He had his surgery done by a doctor who is with a pretty well known group down here that has had great success. They offer lots of meetings, support groups, etc. He just chose not to use those resources. So I feel he was given what he needed support-wise, but just didn't take advantage of what was out there. I use this board and every other resource I can find for education and support!!! Thanks to everyone for responding!

[marsha 0]

I feel great sadness for this man. His sence of failure must be overwhelming. :cry

Marsha

[FDATrialGuineaPig 7]

Actually I don't feel sad for him at all. He certainly doesn't sound devastated by it...deep down he knows exactly what he is doing.

I am glad for him that he got the band. This is part of the beauty of it all...you can go at your own pace both physically and mentally. Think of if he'd had a more drastic procedure--he wouldn't neccessarily be more or less compliant and he could really hurt himself in the long run. At very least with the band he

a. stopped gaining weight and actually lost 5 lbs

b. his band is now anchored really REALLY well

c. he can choose at anytime to get a fill and further his journey--there is no

window of opportunity he's missing out on

d. he can be bolstered and given courage by the success of those around him

Some people are really REALLY afraid to give up food. All of us go through this in varying degrees but I think it's important to have compassion for people who take a little longer to get there. He is making a CHOICE and for whatever reason, it is his. But he is NOT a failure!

[quakergirl 2]

I dont understand why someone would go through the surgery and then not follow up. But at least it sounds like he is starting to get on the right track by going back for a fill. I hope your example inspires him to make more of an effort to work with the band. He still has plenty of time to change his ways and lose weight.

Hey, this is the reason the band is adjustable!

[I'llsucceed 1]

interesting...bumped

I also recently attened a seminar w/stats on a years worth of banded people. One having only lost 6 pds. Never came back for a fill. The fills were provided for 2 yrs FREE from the attending Docotor. Go Figure!!!