Overweight Daughter

[wnt2lose 0]

Hi. I've been reading your thread. I feel like you are talking about my dd. I also have a 10 yr old daughter who struggles with her weight. She has always been very tall, I think she is 5' and she weighs about 145. I have always tried not to put so much pressure on her regarding her weight. She does like sports and exercise, for she plays basketball and softball. She even signed up to play volleyball this year. I don't know why she got the gene to make her bigger. She's got two older sisters who don't weigh as much as she does so that makes it even worse.

Since I've been banded there have been a lot of changes in our house. We used to eat out a lot, that doesn't happen any more. We all are eating healthier. I've been doing the couch to 5k program. When I run/walk, my dd will ride her bike and keep me going. It's been a lot of fun and we get some time together. She was so excited this morning. She came out of the bathroom and told me she made her goal and she is losing weight. I just gave her a hug and told her she is doing super. I don't want her to become so focused on weight and the scale, but to eat and live a healthy lifestyle.

I also know how grandmother's can sabotoge. My mother-in-law has her snack drawer. It is filled with Cookies, granola bars, candy, chips, etc. lately she's been adding a few 100 cal. packs, but they aren't always the best either. If she hears that our dd is on a "diet" she will freak out and tell us it is wrong. Then my mom will ask how we are all doing, be all concerned about our weights, and then cook us a huge meal with lots of comfort food that isn't really healthy. (We still love them though.)

Good luck with WW and with your dd. If she is motivated it will make it much better. I remember my first WW meeting, it was scary and I was in my teens. But WW has definately changed since then. Keep us posted on her progress.

[brandyII 9]

Gloucester,

You sound like a very smart and loving mom. It's not easy but you're lucky your daughter is excited about it and that makes it easier on both of you. I've gone to WW since I was 13 and I'm about to turn 49 so I know it's a healthy way of eating and can be for the whole family. The program has changed a lot during the years and the points system is totally engraved in my brain. If they change it drastically again I don't know what I'd do, lol. Anyway good luck to you and your daughter and I'm really happy she's found something that she can relate to. Best of luck, brandyII.

[sfeiner 2]

I'm so glad she liked it and so glad you went too. I think the secret is doing it together. Do all you can with her now. In a couple years she will have a dramtic personality change and you will get so dumb and outdated...until she's about 23. Then you will get smart again. All kiddin aside, I think she will love sharing with you. You can meal plan, shop, cook and exercise together. It will be very special to be your partner in this. Give her a big hug from me.

[Skinny_Jill 36]

It sounds like the meeting went well. That is great that she is so excited. It really sounds like you are handling it very well.

[Gone4Now 4]

:confused: Already there are only a select few days when I'm NOT dumb. I had no idea!

If she lets me near her, I'll give her an extra big hug.

Thank you everyone! I am so glad for this site.

[luluc 6]

I think it's fantastic you two are doing this together with her. She will have much healthier results because of it. Keep us posted:)

[gkeyt 0]

Wow, I have a lot of admiration for you and all the other moms who have spoken about their kids and weight. I don't have kids so I can't really offer that kind of advice. But it must be so hard trying to head off obesity in your kids (especially girls) without doing more damage in the process. So many of us started out dieting when we were young, and we ended up having to have weight loss surgery.

I did weight watchers when I was 11. But back then WW was very different--I'm sure lots of you did it then too, about 25 years ago? Long before Points, it was a very strict list of foods to choose from. I lost 25 lbs, but gained an eating disorder (bulemia) until I was about 16 (I "outgrew" it--that's another story!)

But WW is different now, and it sounds like they are more and more used to seeing kids come in these days. As long as your daughter doesn't have to think about being on a "diet" I think it can be a good thing. All that diet/deprivation stuff is bad for kids, I think. It sets them up for binging, hoarding, sneaking food, and gets that mindset of "forbidden foods" going that got a lot of us fat, too. It sounds like they (WW) are sensitive to this with your daughter, which is great. Points are probably a nice thing for kids because it gives them the concept that they should eat healthy foods most of the time, but occasional treats are okay. You just have to learn how to deal with them. Also she can learn that healthy foods can be delicious, too!

Kudos to everyone trying to navigate this hard problem. If your daughter knows she is loved no matter what her weight (and I know she must) that is the most important thing for her growing up. Also all the ideas on increasing her activity are great, even better if she doesn't think of it as "exercising"! Sounds like she'd enjoy some extra time with mom going for walks together.

Good luck!

[vballmom 0]

Gloucester, I know that Curves will accept young girls who are tall enough to work the equipment. I'm not sure if you have Curves where you live. It is a workout place just for women. I also know that YMCA has a work out program for children. Of course a good old fashioned walk is helpful. Recently my daughter and I started playing bad mitton and we get a good work out picking up the birdie all the time. We have not mastered the game yet. But we have fun and get exercise doing it. Best Wishes.