When a Lapband lie goes to far...?

[Guest BikiniBeachy]

So, I have read a lot on here and decided I will be very, (I mean VERY) selective on who I tell I even had surgery. I am honestly going to fib and when people ask me how I lost weight I will leave out the surgery.

When does a lie go to far? Who should you tell even though you don't want to?

My future roommate knows I am awaiting approval. When I bring it up, she scoffs, talks about how it's an easy way out, etc., ya'll know how they are...I have decided I want to lie to her, and not tell her if I get it. Do you think this is possible, or completely unrealistic??

(The lease is signed, it was probably a mistake...I know, that's a different story :ohmy: )

[Hastings 3]

Oh what a tangled web we weave . . . .

Seriously, I wouldn't discuss it with her, but I wouldn't lie, either.

[Vikki 2]

So, I have read a lot on here and decided I will be very, (I mean VERY) selective on who I tell I even had surgery. I am honestly going to fib and when people ask me how I lost weight I will leave out the surgery.

When does a lie go to far? Who should you tell even though you don't want to?

My future roommate knows I am awaiting approval. When I bring it up, she scoffs, talks about how it's an easy way out, etc., ya'll know how they are...I have decided I want to lie to her, and not tell her if I get it. Do you think this is possible, or completely unrealistic??

(The lease is signed, it was probably a mistake...I know, that's a different story :ohmy: )

I would like to share my experience with you. I got my band on Nov 24, 2006 so have had it for 1yr 4mths now. I have lost a lot and it didn't really show on my till about the 8mth mark. I only told about 4 people my best friend a couple of family members that I even had it done. I had to hide the fact of when we went out to eat I could only have the Soup or hide the fact I wasn't eating......or even worse eat something wrong and have to go throw it up somewhere. No one at my work knew and I would come back from lunch sometimes having to run to the bathroom if something didn't go down. Once I started to really look like I had lost a lot of weight and people would compliment me and ask how I would say no carbs and Portion Control. It wasn't a lie......because that is what it was. EASY WAY OUT MY ASS!!!!!!!!!! It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Tell your roomate to sit down to Thanksgiving dinner and smell all the WONDERFUL SMELLS OF food and only be able to get a couple of bites of mash potatoes down and maybe a couple of other bites and that is it!!!!! It is very frustrating to say the least but you get used to it after awhile that 5-6 bites is okay with your head. Your head is what you have to retrain when you used to eat those big Claim Jumper portions and now you can't. It isn't a matter of portion control because your on a diet and you know your suppose to eat less it is CANT!!! Because that one more bite could send you into so much pain that your body wants to throw it up and you have to keep running to throw up. You do it a few times and you start listening to your body say STOP you have had enough. That is when you really start thinking differently.......should I eat a cup of ice cream with zero nutricion or should I have that 5-6 bites of Protein and veggies or soft something that has Vitamins for my body. It takes awhile to retrain your head because that is what controls your cravings. I told my boss who is a man about my surgery but just recently because he kept asking me about my weight and I was sick of hiding if I was sick after lunch. He was very supportive about it. I have told more people in my circle of friends because I am ready to come out of the closet about it. I thought people would give me the easy way out remark too but i am honestly pleasantly surprised that I have gotten a lot of support. I love my band and have had issues of being too tight to where I couldn't even get liquids down for about a month and it was very painful and frustrating but I went to get an unfil and feel 100 times better now. I now have very little restriction with 2cc in my band and after gaining 8 back I am ready to go get just a small fill to feel the restriction again. It is the STOP factor that really makes you eat less and after awhile you are okay with eating less. You feel good about what you ate that day instead of going to bed beating yourself up that you had the supersize hamburger and fries you knew you weren't suppose too. You do what you feel is right and don't listen to anyone saying your taking the easy way out. It is not easy at all to not eat like you were used too. My best friend is skinny and blonde and beautiful and doesn't understand why I got the band when she has seen me go threw taking that one too many bites and having to deal with the pain. But she doesn't understand the voice in my head that kept beating me up inside that I was a looser for getting so heavy and letting myself get that way. I have lost a big part of the weight and feel good about myself again and haven't been happy with myself in a long time. The great thing about this tool is if you want the liquid out of your band you can eat fairly normal again then when you are feeling week like i am right now with eating bread and just snacking too much you go get a fill and the restriction is back to help you stay on track. Good luck with your journey!!!!!!!!!! You do what make YOU happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:biggrin2:

[Jachut 487]

Any medical professional, definitely. Never ever lie on any sort of medical/health form - even when joining the gym, if anything should happen that requires legal action etc if you havent been truthful you've not got a leg to stand on. Anyone operating on you or treating your health needs to know. Health insurance companies definitely need to know.

I think you need to tell your family, in fact I really disagree with not telling your kids or your parents. I think they need to know it, its not something to be ashamed of and it could be important information one day, for example, if you're in an accident and are in a coma and they have to advocate for you!

I think not telling those people is taking a lie too far. Anyone else, its none of their business if you dont want it to be.

[Guest BikiniBeachy]

Wow, thanks for sharing so much, you made such a good point!

[Mom2_4 0]

I have found that the people I have told have a greater respect for me that people who don't know, they just think I am 'fat & lazy' like most of the population out there. I contemplated not telling people when I was thinking about getting banded but I don't really care who knows now. I tell anyone who asks and totally recommend it to others.

Sorry your roommate is so misinformed. It definitely is not the easy way out. Once you are banded, she will see that for herself by watching what you are going through.

Good luck!!

[Lillianya 0]

In my opinion, it's your body and your life. It really isn't anyone else's business, unless of course they have a medical need to know. While I'm not specifically advocating lying, how you choose to manage your health and weight is completely up to you, and has nothing to do with anyone else. There is nothing wrong with telling people or not telling people, I just don't think we should feel pressured to do either.

I just moved to a large city where I don't know anyone and everyone I do know has no idea about my surgery. I don't feel ashamed about having it done, or worried about what they might think. I just feel that it that it's private and none of their business. It can get a bit lonely though, sometimes I feel like I'm on a different eating planet than everyone around me. That's why LBT is so great!

[shortgal 5]

If your hairdresser notices you've lost weight are you obligated to tell her how? No, you just say thanks. If she asks how you say" diet and exercise" that's what it is. I believe the band just puts us on a level playing field with people that never had a weight problem. It's like a handicap in golf.

But immediate family, yes. They need to know for any emergency. Just like a diabetic, you would disclose that info to a medical professional.

I have told some people and some just don't ask. They comment on weight loss and I say Thanks! I told noone except my husband BEFORE surgery took place. After, I told a few family members and friends. I don't try to hide it and I don't run up and announce it, either.

You'll figure out what works for you.

[TulipStar 2]

I wouldn't lie, I just wouldn't say anything. At first I was really secretive...only told a choice few people (even that was hard to do). Then after surgery I started telling more and more people...I am not ashamed. It wasn't and hasn't been easy. If people don't like it, screw them. They are not you and don't know what you go through.

[minpinmom 2]

I have told everyone that I know and I haven't had ANY bad seeds in the bunch! I know I must be one of the lucky ones, although, I choose to believe that it is my attitude towards it. Everyone knows I am so proud of the fact that I am lucky enough to have this life saving device - they are happy for me. I was prepared for bad responses - so far, I haven't had any! Even people that I wasn't too fond of before, are super supportive and a bit envious.

[Skinny_Jill 36]

It is just a tool to help you lose weight. The band will help you eat smaller portions. My family knows and so do my friends. I told a few people at work and I'm sure others know by now too. I've only had 1 negative reaction and I handled it. I agree with others that family and medical professionals should be told. There is nothing wrong with telling people you are eating smaller portions, eating healthier foods and excercising. That is not a lie.

Good luck!

[rames767 0]

I have been very open about my hopes to get the surgery with friends, family and co-workers. However, I do believe it is a personal decision. Discussing your medical history (or future) with anyone other than medical professionals is completely up to you. Do what is right for you.

[Wheetsin 714]

I don't advocate lying because I've yet to see it be successful. What normally happens is people, over time, forget what they lied about or lose the abiltiy to distinguish between lie and reality. This causes them to get tripped up in their own "harmless" lies, and make even bigger fools of themselves, and potentially betray even more trust than the lie itself would have.

If you want to lie, that's really your decision. Personally I would not let fear of someone's judgment compromise my personal morals. Don't get me wrong, I have told lies, but not out of shame or because I'm afraid of what others will think. I have some very against-the-norm beliefs, and why have them if I'm ashamed of them, is kind of my take. I'm not sure any of us can tell you whether or not it's possible. IME, it is not, especially not with the band (Id id not lie about my band, I was very open - but I've seen others trying to to do it and not succeeding). However, this doesn't mean it's impossible.

[MissWilde 0]

I have told everyone even people I don't know well. I used to be embarassed by the idea of the operation, but I used telling people as a way to push my comfort zone. I am due to have my band fitted in May and it took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I needed it. I am happy everone knows it means I have nothing to hide or I don't have to worry about someone dropping me in it. Your friend is being narrow minded, surgery is never an easy option! You are taking a positive step to enhance your life, your decision will be right for you which ever way you play it! Good Luck XX

[KarenG. 0]

I haven't been telling many people but I am starting to tell more because I feel like if I don't then I try to eat "normall" to cover-up and then I eat too fast and/or too much and end up having a food problem. This is why you might want to tell some people you spend time with. Other than that it is nobody's business.