Just thinking ...

[serenity55 15]

It's really a vicious cycle, isn't it, this journey to band land. I'm fat, I'm afraid, and I eat. I don't think that exercising is helping me because I'm still eating sweets. Is there anyone out there who has been down this road? Eventually, I have to get to the point where fear of more health problems is greater than all the needles. And I'm envious, envious of all of you who have done it already, are already bandsters. Still I eat, and am afraid, and exercise, and have no hope. Sometimes I think I can do this and I'll have the rewards so many people have, and other times ...?

Who am I kidding? I know there's no way in he** I'm going to lose this 331 pounds by myself, I've been trying forever, though I haven't always been over 300.

I'm putting one foot in front of the other, will see my doctor in a week, but boy! am I scared, confused, and fat!

Thank you all for letting me whine. I'll take sharp cheddar with that, thank you! :-)

Debbie

[mstrina27 0]

you know everyone goes thru what yr going thru..working out will not make u not want to eat sweets.. what working out for me does is make me think about what im eating before i eat it. I know it takes me about 60-minutes on the elliptical machine with my resistance level between 6-8 and burning at least 1000 calories per workout. So when i look at a reese cup and i look at the back and see that its over 250 calories im like oh hell no.... I did not just workout that hard to blow a 1/4 of it on a freekin reese cup.. If you get in that mind set then u will make your own mind up about eating sweets... Just say for an example if u did eat a cup cake and it was like 400 calories total.. work out an extra 20-minutes so u wont feel bad.... it is definately easier said than done but it will work...

[taz 2]

Hi Debbie. Glad to have you join us. I was banded Feb 8th. Afraid all the way but felt it was the right thing to do. Then the fills. Afraid to have them but more afraid if I don't. It isn't easy but something caused you to go this route. For me it was when I could no longer go hiking with my husband. That is how we met! So frustrating. Someone started a thread a while back asking each person to share their moment they decided to be banded. It was fun to read them. Anyway, glad your here.:regular_smile:

Tina

[shortgal 5]

Welcome and check out the "Before and After pix thread", hard to find stronger motivation that those pictures of successful bandsters.

I finally got so sick and tired and was miserable with my weight, so having the surgery was a relief and I really had no fears once I made up my mind. If is was so bad ( pain wise) why would so many people be doing it.

There are many threads here on the forum you might find helpful. There's a group for those in their 50's, a group for people banded in a specific month and groups for people with a specific amount of weight to lose. Try to search around on the forum and check out the ones you feel you have something in common with.

After battling my weight for many years, this is now the lowest I have weighed in 20 years, it never would have happened without my band.

[serenity55 15]

Hi all,

Thank you for your responses, and words of encouragement. Jack, I'm definitely in, and although I'm scared, I'm going to go forward. Tina, I'm scared of needles, so when you said you were scared of fills, I could relate, even though I haven't had any yet. But I'm still here, reading and learning.

Unfortunately, I can't look at the pictures because I am blind, but I can read how much weight people have lost, which is just as helpful for me.

This really is an awesome place.

Debbie

[taz 2]

You know Debbie, I faint when I get a regular shot. I can't watch anything on tv where they show any type of pain. I guess I'm a wimp.:biggrin2: The fills are not that way. I'm more afraid of the forced changes (even if I am the one doing it). So far I think it is a good choice for me. I hope you think so too.

[serenity55 15]

I had a hysterectomy almost six years ago, and I had to have blood work, and IV's and pain medication by injection when I was in the hospital because I had sleep apnea and my surgeon felt it would be dangerous to put the medicine in to the IV port. Every time I had to deal with needles I thought I'd never make it through, and I think it's because I had Fluid drawn from my eyes when I was quite small. Maybe not, but whatever the case, I'm just scared. Anyway, it's good to know that maybe the fills will be all right.

thank you, Tina.

Debbie

Edited April 7, 2008 by serenity55

[Laurinda 1]

It very much is a vicious cycle yes. I have always said I have "dieted" myself up to this weight. Every time in the past, if I lost 20 I'd gain it back with 30 more, lose 10 gain 20 etc. I would eat and think about starting a new program "tomorrow" or tell myself ok this is it, stay this weight and no higher, then gain 5 pounds and say ok that was only 5 no more etc. I knew when I passed a certain point (for me) that I would not be able to do this alone. I am hoping the band will keep me moving forward on my path to a new life and my days of lose some gain more are over! Good Luck to you my friend!

[taz 2]

I like the way you put it. Dieting up to my current weight. I, too, am at the beginning of this. Banded in Feb and not knowing what the experience will bring. The only way we fail is to not try. :regular_smile:

[falloutgal 0]

Serenity55-Its true we've all been there. Remember you can do it. We all have doubts. I told my doctor that all fat people know what we have to do to lose weight (watch our portion size, make better food choices, exercise and drink water) right? We just need help-well the band is it! Good luck to you and stay with this site-the people are great! Jack I love what you wrote.

[heartfire 4]

Debbie,

I'm scared too! Scared of surgery, of not getting surgery, of something bad happening, etc. But I'm also hopeful too. Hopeful of losing the weight, being more active and having more fun. I still have skinny thoughts in my head, I wasn't always this size. I graduated high school weighing about 120. I see myself in pictures or a reflection in a window or mirror and am shocked at what I see. I don't like it and I want to be that skinny girl again. Well, okay, I can't be a girl again since I'm almost 40 but with the band, I can be skinny again. Anything close to or resembling my goal of 130 will be a dream come true.

No one can do it for you and you wouldn't want them to! Keep coming here and keep typing. Maybe start a blog if you feel the need. Kind of an online journal that the rest of us can read too. If that's too public, start a file on your computer (I prefer typing to writing, myself) and just randomly start typing your thoughts.

I'm glad you're not going to let the fear get to you, it would be so easy. But from what I've read of you so far, you don't scare to easily and if you do, you work your way through it. You are admirable.

Have a great night and best wishes on your doctor appointment!!

[serenity55 15]

Laurinda, Falloutgal, and heartfire, thank you all for your encouragement. Heartfire, like you, I have this skinny girl in my head, too. My sister invited me and a few of my friends over a couple of years ago, and she showed pictures of me when I was thinner. My friends kept saying how pretty I was, and I want that back again. Now, I just get, "You have a beautiful smile, and such a pretty face." As Jack said, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." I like that.

Debbie