Would It Kill Me....

[*susan* 1,709]

I too am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time. Hopefully between your doctor, nutritionist and a good support system, you will do better.

when people say they never strayed from your diet THEY ARE LYING.

As for this, I do have to disagree. I am not sure if you were private pay or if insurance covered your surgery. I was private pay at $16,500.00. My dh and I are not people of means. We struggle to get by every day. So, for us, this was a huge investment. I truly could not and cannot afford to do anything to risk my band as this is my one and only final chance at obtaining a healthy weight. I don't have $16,500.00 to just throw away, so I was very careful to follow my doctors orders 100%. I knew what I was getting into before I got the band and made the commitment to it.

Please understand, I am not in any way bashing you. I understand how difficult this process is. However, I disagree with making a blanket statement that "when people say they never strayed from your diet THEY ARE LYING" because that is not true for everyone.

I truly do wish you the best of luck with your band. Support groups and LBT are very important in helping to keep you motivated. It is wonderful to be able to talk to others who are going through or have gone through the same process as you and can offer advice and support.

[coltonwade 27]

Let me just add... it's because of this VERY thread that I have decided that regardless of what my doctor says, I think at least 3-4 weeks of the liquid diet postop is essential to the longevity of my band. In the scheme of things, 3-4 weeks is worth it if it means I have less chance of a slip. Of course, it may also be what my MD orders but I have yet to go to my consultation (a couple more weeks to go) so I don't know yet. However, I will be including this discussion in my list of questions to him.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all you ladies for your words of wisdom. It would be so easy for you to read these posts and think "Poor idiots, hope they figure it out!". It takes someone special to take the time it takes to write out the important facts, the ins and outs, and just generally hold someone accountable by questioning why they would do things wrong when they know better.

I'm so sorry that people had their feelings hurt but I would consider that more of a problem with accountability than being "badgered" and, unfortunately, it seems that everyone has a "don't speak up if you don't agree with me" philosophy. I have plenty of people in my life who tell me what I want to hear... I come here to hear what I NEED to hear.

Thanks again! :huh2:

I can tell you this now ... If you had told me before surgery that I could go 2-3 weeks on liquids i would have told you you were NUTS .

NOW ... I could do a month on liquids with my hands tied behind my back.

My post fill diet is 6 days liquids after EVERY Fill . Then 3 days mushies 3 days semi solids then solids. So I do liquids A LOT . Now Its "easy" for me given the right Protein shake , i could live on them LOL

But if you had told me that before surgery i would have smacked ya LMAO

We Adjust, we adapt to what we had to do . Things get "easier" and it becomes our way of life .

Mindy

[coltonwade 27]

:huh2:

I am not asking for permission, I think I have already screwed up... While my current habits are not as bad as in the past I have definetly not stuck to my Doctors diet plan. I don't know if I screwed up the band or not, but I can't seem to get back on plan... I have been extremely hard on my self and practically in tears all the time... I feel horrible knowing that I could have already screwed this whole surgery up. Today not even paying attention, I drove up to a drive thru and ordered what I used to order 2 5pc chicken nuggests and a baked potato... I was on auto pilot and ate like a Hoover vacuum... I felt extremely full (NOT SICK), and horrible... I know everyones advised is stick to the diet, you can do its only for a short time, no excuses yada yada (no disrespect). But Dammit I did it, I am not saying its okay... but I can't control it... I hadn't even realized I ate all of the food until it was gone... Its horrible I know, I've even been seeing a couple different counselors and psychiatrist... nothing is helping... It drives me insane to think I put all the time and pain into this surgery to maybe of screwed up before it had a chance to work. All these people are looking for is kind words, support... not permission... I am sharing my humiliating story with you because I know I am not the only one and when people say they never strayed from your diet THEY ARE LYING.

I will talk to my doctor and tell him the truth and hopefully nothing bad has happened to the band.

I did not say EVERYONE is asking for permission . Some people are asking for permission . by that I mean , they need, want to hear someone else say " OH Yeah I did it you will be fine ' and that's all the permission they need to go ahead and go against their docs advice . J, it looks like your not very far post op , if you are having this amount of difficulties now i would suggest finding a different counselor , keep searching for one until you find one that works. And keep going .

I am not sure if you have a fill yet or not , but if you have not had a fill that will help control the over eating. But you have to get there first.

Try putting visual cues in your car if you go on auto pilot .

Something like a Sign with Nuggets on it and a big STOP over it ! Seriously . if you have something that you can look at that redirects you when you start going that way it might help .

No one is judging , people are here to help , and I personally do not and will not pat anyone on the back and say there there its ok you just did what you did ( not you anyone) it does them no good. do not beat yourself up over the slip up . BUT do everything you can from doing it AGAIN !

if it means going into Mc Donalds and telling them to NOT SERVE you . Do it . tell everyone your with to not let you eat there.

For me it was MUCH easier not to "cheat" directly after surgery than it is as time goes on .

So be very careful . Do what ever it takes for yourself to succeed .

HTH

Mindy

[coltonwade 27]

I too am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time. Hopefully between your doctor, nutritionist and a good support system, you will do better.

As for this, I do have to disagree. I am not sure if you were private pay or if insurance covered your surgery. I was private pay at $16,500.00. My dh and I are not people of means. We struggle to get by every day. So, for us, this was a huge investment. I truly could not and cannot afford to do anything to risk my band as this is my one and only final chance at obtaining a healthy weight. I don't have $16,500.00 to just throw away, so I was very careful to follow my doctors orders 100%. I knew what I was getting into before I got the band and made the commitment to it.

Please understand, I am not in any way bashing you. I understand how difficult this process is. However, I disagree with making a blanket statement that "when people say they never strayed from your diet THEY ARE LYING" because that is not true for everyone.

I truly do wish you the best of luck with your band. Support groups and LBT are very important in helping to keep you motivated. It is wonderful to be able to talk to others who are going through or have gone through the same process as you and can offer advice and support.

Is it fair to say ALL people cheat ?? Probably not , Is it probably a pretty accurate statement ? I would say so . I am self pay , do not have a lush life by any means and i have cheated, I have eaten the chocolate i should not have eaten. Have I gone against what my doc says NO , those are 2 different things ! "cheating" on what you should and should not eat and going against medical advice and advancing diets too soon ect, personally are 2 totally different things !!

I personally dont think self pay VS Insurance has anything to do with it.

Some do . Some thinks Self payers follow the "rules' more , I dont think it has anything to do with it at all.

Mindy

[Elisabethsew 50]

Elisabeth...

Do you think the learning part EVER ends??? (sigh)

I don't think so! ;o)

Good post.

It's interesting you ask that. In late May, I will be getting my PhD in Adult Education. The PhD is called the terminal degree because it's the highest one you can earn. However, my mentor constantly reminds her learners that getting a PhD is the BEGINNING of learning how to be a researcher. I find that's the case with everything in life and the more I learn, the more I see how much I don't know. This banding experience is definitely a challenge. LOL.

[Elisabethsew 50]

from someone who Plans on being a nurse one day ( sigh if i ever get my a$$ back to school ) I am curious about something. Since ya'll are nurses , for those of you who are , is there not a fine line between say giving advice as a patient and as a nurse ? What is considered giving out medical advice ?

Does that make sense ? Basically what COULD you get in trouble for ?

Mindy

Good question and a tough one. There is a difference when you state you are an RN. If a person posts that they are having pain in the right side and I say, "I'm an RN, it's just gas." and the person ends up having appendicitis that leads to peritonitis or septic shock because they listened to me, my license could be in jeopardy. What an RN can do is ask questions such as, "Do you have a fever? Do you have an appendix? Are you passing gas? Can you keep food down? etc." Based on the answers you can say things like, "Not having a fever does not mean you don't have an infection. You need to see your MD for some blood testing ASAP" and similar statements. If you're not a NP, you really can't diagnose or dispense medical advice. That's why I always say to call your MD because it could be, X, Y, Z.

Patients share their EXPERIENCES or dispense advice based on their experiences. Since the patient is not claiming professional health care status, the person getting the advice can choose to take the advice or ignore it. It's two equals exchanging conversation. Healthcare professionals are licensed and held to a higher standard. You can be sued for all the things MDs are sued for and have to practice within the boundaries of the state that grants you the license.

Now... get back in school. We need RNs!

[coltonwade 27]

Good question and a tough one. There is a difference when you state you are an RN. If a person posts that they are having pain in the right side and I say, "I'm an RN, it's just gas." and the person ends up having appendicitis that leads to peritonitis or septic shock because they listened to me, my license could be in jeopardy. What an RN can do is ask questions such as, "Do you have a fever? Do you have an appendix? Are you passing gas? Can you keep food down? etc." Based on the answers you can say things like, "Not having a fever does not mean you don't have an infection. You need to see your MD for some blood testing ASAP" and similar statements. If you're not a NP, you really can't diagnose or dispense medical advice. That's why I always say to call your MD because it could be, X, Y, Z.

Patients share their EXPERIENCES or dispense advice based on their experiences. Since the patient is not claiming professional health care status, the person getting the advice can choose to take the advice or ignore it. It's two equals exchanging conversation. Healthcare professionals are licensed and held to a higher standard. You can be sued for all the things MDs are sued for and have to practice within the boundaries of the state that grants you the license.

Now... get back in school. We need RNs!

it seems to me there can be a very thin line between medical advice and or experiences as far as being a banded patient goes depending on how you handle it. But i see what your saying . Basically you cant diagnose you can suggest and then suggest seeking medical advice .

I do plan on going back to school. Actually i was saying yesterday how bored i was getting at home , felt like i was doing nothing ( Im a house wife and both my kids are in school now ) and felt like i should start taking classes again ..

thanks for the clarification !

Mindy

[*susan* 1,709]

Is it fair to say ALL people cheat ?? Probably not , Is it probably a pretty accurate statement ? I would say so . I am self pay , do not have a lush life by any means and i have cheated, I have eaten the chocolate i should not have eaten. Have I gone against what my doc says NO , those are 2 different things ! "cheating" on what you should and should not eat and going against medical advice and advancing diets too soon ect, personally are 2 totally different things !!

I personally dont think self pay VS Insurance has anything to do with it.

Some do . Some thinks Self payers follow the "rules' more , I dont think it has anything to do with it at all.

Mindy

Mindy, I assumed she was referring to the prescribed post-op diet (i.e., the liquid phase, mushies, etc.) as that is what this entire thread has been about. Therefore, my comments were aimed directly towards that. Therefore, I still do believe it is inaccurate to say that everyone cheats, if we are referring to the prescribed, immediate post-op diet by our doctors.

Additionally, I did not state that for everyone, private -vs- insurance plays a factor in whether someone will go against their doctors orders or not. My comments were with regards to my personal situation. I am self pay and could not afford to break the rules. Other self-payers may be in a different financial status than me, or not be as concerned about it as me, I don't know. I am just saying, for me personally, my band is my last hope, there are no second chances for me, I do not have any other financial options available to finance any additional weight loss surgeries; therefore, I was not willing to go against my doctor's advice on what he prescribed for me immediately post-op, or what he prescribes me after I have had a fill.

[coltonwade 27]

Mindy, I assumed she was referring to the prescribed post-op diet (i.e., the liquid phase, mushies, etc.) as that is what this entire thread has been about. Therefore, my comments were aimed directly towards that. Therefore, I still do believe it is inaccurate to say that everyone cheats, if we are referring to the prescribed, immediate post-op diet by our doctors.

Additionally, I did not state that for everyone, private -vs- insurance plays a factor in whether someone will go against their doctors orders or not. My comments were with regards to my personal situation. I am self pay and could not afford to break the rules. Other self-payers may be in a different financial status than me, or not be as concerned about it as me, I don't know. I am just saying, for me personally, my band is my last hope, there are no second chances for me, I do not have any other financial options available to finance any additional weight loss surgeries; therefore, I was not willing to go against my doctor's advice on what he prescribed for me immediately post-op, or what he prescribes me after I have had a fill.

I understand . I was just trying to point out that I do think there is a difference some dont see the difference or dont realize the difference in "cheating" and going against medical advice . ya know ?

And I totally understand what your saying about being self pay .

I constantly worry about my band, i worry if i PB if i screwed it up , if i did if i had to have another surgery how i would pay for that. ect.

its always on the back of my mind. And I would have to say maybe something that is not so much on people who had insurance pay ? Im sure its there but is it as much as self pay ? Maybe not ? its hard to say ?

its not a constanct worry I dont think that IF something goes wrong HOW Would you fix it like self payers do ? I might be wrong ? who knows just me thinking again ya know .

Mindy

[Turler 6]

WOW! I am a NEWBIE, a LAPBAND PATIENT, AND a NURSE!! What a great thread! I did a lot of research just as most of you did before surgery. There is always something to learn. I would NEVER take advice here over my doctor! (No offense to anyone). That should be Rule #1 for everyone! Just because someone is a nurse, doesn't make them qualified to give medical advice!

It's fine to share experiences, your knowledge of a subject and give opinions. That is what this forum is all about. I like knowing I'm not the only one experiencing something. I like knowing what to expect and reading about the joys and the pitfalls of Band life. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own bodies, our own lives. We would only be doing ourselves a disservice to not contact our doctors and ask these questions. Make an appointment to just talk! You hired them. They work for you. They will make time for you!

I think it's sad that so many don't respect their doctors knowledge and training enough to follow the orders. Why would anyone let someone perform surgery on them if they dont' trust them???

Okay, I'm done. I just had to say my peace. I know some of you wanted the thread to die, but I just found it and had to comment. Sorry!

~C

[coltonwade 27]

We would only be doing ourselves a disservice to not contact our doctors and ask these questions. Make an appointment to just talk! You hired them. They work for you. They will make time for you!

I think it's sad that so many don't respect their doctors knowledge and training enough to follow the orders. Why would anyone let someone perform surgery on them if they dont' trust them???

~C

This is what I dont get. SO many times people come on and ask questions they should be asking docs and they follow by " Well its a weekend , or a holiday I dont want to bother my doc " OMG I paid $12,000 for my surgery I'll bother my doc if its 3 AM and CHRISTMAS eve if I need something !!

Is it ideal ? NO But if you have a question that's what you paid them for !

I dont understand the " I dont want to bother them so i just wont call"

Mindy

[Turler 6]

Yes!! I am always telling my patients "It doesn't matter if it's in the middle of the night or whenever, YOU CALL the doctor if you have ANY questions or concerns". They (doctors) take call for a reason. They know you will forget something, need something or whatever. They really do appreciate the patient that takes an active role in their healthcare!

[cruisemissile 0]

I am six days post op and supposed to be on liquids only for 10 days. Has anyone violated this policy? I would love to have some chili or potato soup...

it blows my mind how different every doctor's post-op diet seems to be.

mine was Clear Liquids for the first 4 days, then full liquids (including Protein Shakes, pureed foods, Soups, e tc..) until day 14. then I move to soft foods.

have I violated my rules? i'm a bit embarrassed, but yes I have.

talk to your doctor again and see what they say about your diet.

[mmh498 0]

I agree with the post stating that bandsters, especially newbies, are asking for permission to go against their doctor's orders. I was self-pay and damn sure am following my doctor's instructions to the letter. I intend to get my money's worth, lol! I was on the liquid diet 2 weeks pre-op and 2 weeks post-op and am just now suppose to start adding "real food" to my new way of eating-I don't much like using the word "diet" for me, because this is a "rest of my life" way of eating, and now, because I got my head out of my ass, and my fat ass off the couch and moving, I should have a decent amount of "the rest of my life." It took each of us a long time to get obese, so 2 weeks, a month, whatever time your doctor orders you to be on the liquid diet, it is a small fraction of the time you spent getting fat and it is well worth it. No, it is not easy--I haven't had my first fill yet and sometimes I think I could start eating a table leg (think of the fiber!), but when I am about to have a fit from head hunger, I get up and go clean something, or better yet, go through my closets and dresser drawers and find clothes that are now too big for me and give them away--that is motivation! Then later, I eat a smart meal, Protein first, portion controlled and feel good about myself and my control. Be strong for yourself and if it gets too hard, go to the before/after pics for motivation, or go for a walk, clean something, but get away from the food! I wish you all well, I don't like saying "Good luck" because there is nothing about this that involves luck, it is flat out hard work.

[amsderb 1]

Well said....it is just so confusing because I almost fee I should do liquids longer than what my doc is saying??