how have people handled the negativity from others towards the lap band?

[marineliebe 2]

I haven't really told very many people yet that I am going to be banded, mainly because I'm not sure how they will react. I had my first negative reaction the other day from my best friends bf. He really hurt my feelings and then started drilling me on weather I have done research, and saying that I don't need surgery and I must not be trying hard enough and then offered to train me at the gum. It took a while before I finally was able to explain to him that I have tried everything and this is my last option, I have done lots of research etc. It was very emotionally draining...I guess I am just wondering how other people handled the negative comments and how you decided if/when you wanted to tell others that you are banded. I know this is a pretty subjective thing to ask, but I would love to hear from everyone on this to get both sides of the picture.

[thenume 2]

I didn't tell many people and those that know are very supportive minus one ( my skinny sister that tells me I should get it taken out when something gets stuck because I gulped it down). You and I know that thinner people do not understand what it is like to be heavy. For us its like a 400 pound gorilla in the room and we feel uncomfortable. It is important to understand and to make others understand...this is our decision to better ourselves, even if we ARE taking the "easy" way out. Even if you never ever ever tried to diet but decided the band is for you it is your decision. Don't let him get you down. Offer to take his help with the training it can't hurt and it will help in the long run. You will have to exercise and change eating habits (if you have bad eating habits - not all of us do) for the band to work for you. You have to be firm when expressing that this is what you want and so this is what you are going to do.

PS.

The band journey is definetly not an easy one!

Good Luck

[Karly1 0]

On this subject like any other, everyone has an opinion. Though it seems that anything weight related seems to be especially wrought with thoughts, opinions and views. It's easy to say what you would or would not do or to tell someone else how they would or should handle weight issues, especially when its not something they have personally had to deal with. First thing is not everyone is the same, what works for some doesn't work for everyone. I dare say if weightloss were so simple, no one would be fat. When I first made up my mind to be banded I was selective with who I told for that very reason. I have a few very opinionated friends and I started out explaining that I wanted to tell them something but first I wanted it understood that my mind was already made up, that I had researched this issue, discussed it with my doctor and had prayed about it.. that this was something I felt was best for me...that I would appreciate the support, however, I didn't want to hear anythink negative about it. Whether I succeed or whether I fail is on me. If they care about you then they will support you in your decision, if not, it doesn't matter anyway. This is your life and your body. Find friends who will support you and be proud of yourself for making this decision. It is an enormous step and I am finding this site to be wonderful for support and encouragement so if nothing else log on here everyday and get your moral support and encouragement here. Most importantly do not let anyone bring you down for trying to do what is best for you, be proud of yourself and your decision to make life better for you. I applaud you your decision as I do everyone else on here, myself included. Take care, and good luck. Chin Up! :wink_smile:

[jena 0]

Why did you sit there and take your BF's boyfriend grilling you like that?

The good thing after going through that nonsense with him is that next time you get a response like that you'll know how to respond if you practice.

Here's some ideas:

"Nun-ya" which means none of your business. Just refuse to discuss it with him and let him rant. He'll get tired after a while. While he's ranting, picture yourself in a hot string bikini on a beach with sparkling blue and green Water.

"Spoken like a person who's never had a weight problem" then imagine yourself in that string bikini on a beach while he minds your business.

"F#@k off, asshat" and think of yourself in that bikini.

I'm more of an option #3 person. heh heh heh

[coolcrystal 1]

Most people would confuse it with the bypass surgery and I'd just say "Oh, you're thinking of the bypass, I'm getting the lapband.. completely reversible" or something like that. If they drilled me for more details I had answers for everything from being on this forum for several months and reading a lot. When somebody would say "I hear you throw up a lot" I would say, "that's because those people needed an unfill or their bands were too small , etc"... there's an answer for everything.

I'm glad I didnt' have anybody up in my face grilling me like you did because I probably would have knocked him down.

[shortgal 5]

I just didn't tell people until after my surgery becasue most people don't know what the band is anyway... they think they know.... but they don't.

Just ask them a question about the band and they won't be able to answer it anyway, so how would they know it's not right for you.

[azchick 0]

I was so excited that I told everyone! Sometimes I notice people that I work with checking me out or they will ask how I am doing. I haven't had anything negative said to my face. Who knows what people say behind my back. I really don't care. We have chosen to take our health in our own hands. I believe that most of us are doing this for health reasons and the looking great part of it is a wonderful bonus!! I think people either have never had a weight problem or they are jealous. You have made a decesion to make yourself healthy & happy. Be happy and ignore or stay away from negative people. :wink_smile:

[amamastime 0]

I will admit my worst negative lapband experience happened last week. I know I could of handled it better- but I was going in for an outpatient surgery and wasn't exactly in a good frame of mind when it happened. I had a male nurse tell me flat out after reading my chart "what you can't go pound the pavement?" (with plenty of negative tone to his voice). My reply (classic bitch mode) "well duh! it wasn't working... what you couldn't simply go to medical school to be doctor?". Like I said, I could of handled it better. It just rubbed me wrong. Needless to say, he wasn't my nurse anymore and I ended up with a lovely lady who had under gone a gastric bypass.

Sorry, I just had to share and get it off my chest.

[shortgal 5]

I will admit my worst negative lapband experience happened last week. I know I could of handled it better- but I was going in for an outpatient surgery and wasn't exactly in a good frame of mind when it happened. I had a male nurse tell me flat out after reading my chart "what you can't go pound the pavement?" (with plenty of negative tone to his voice). My reply (classic bitch mode) "well duh! it wasn't working... what you couldn't simply go to medical school to be doctor?". Like I said, I could of handled it better. It just rubbed me wrong. Needless to say, he wasn't my nurse anymore and I ended up with a lovely lady who had under gone a gastric bypass.

Sorry, I just had to share and get it off my chest.

Based on the nurse's comment I think your response was perfect and totally justified.

[Skinny_Jill 36]

I slap 'em really hard!

I've only had one negative reaction from a dramatic friend. She immediately said "You could die from that surgery." She has a friend that works for an imaging center and they had a patient that died that had a lap band but the lap band had nothing to do with her death. She had a heart attack. She later apologized. I don't discuss the band with her anymore.

I would stop the person immediately and tell them I've done the research and this is right for me. If they continued then I would get up and leave.

[Skinny_Jill 36]

I will admit my worst negative lapband experience happened last week. I know I could of handled it better- but I was going in for an outpatient surgery and wasn't exactly in a good frame of mind when it happened. I had a male nurse tell me flat out after reading my chart "what you can't go pound the pavement?" (with plenty of negative tone to his voice). My reply (classic bitch mode) "well duh! it wasn't working... what you couldn't simply go to medical school to be doctor?". Like I said, I could of handled it better. It just rubbed me wrong. Needless to say, he wasn't my nurse anymore and I ended up with a lovely lady who had under gone a gastric bypass.

Sorry, I just had to share and get it off my chest.

I love it. I'm sorry you had to deal with him but I love the response.

[amamastime 0]

shortgal and skinnyjill,

You two are funny! I will admit that it felt good to piss him off... but not smart when facing a minor surgical procedure. I am sure I will hear from my doctor at the follow up. I am also sure that my doctor will have no isse after i explain it. Like I said, I really should of handled it better. You all know how us women can get... Moody and hormonal- not a good mix for a bad off the cuff comment.

I am sure that after talking with my doctor- all will be cleared up and the nurse will be put in his place. My doctor has a financial interest in the clinic... so he won't let it good easily.

But thanks for letting me vent! You know at one point or another- we all hit a wall and hit it hard.

[JustinsMama 1]

what you couldn't simply go to medical school to be doctor?". Like I said, I could of handled it better.

Classic!

Why do you have to be bitchy and hormonal, if another guy had said that to him, he would just have been being assertive!

[amamastime 0]

If just not a good idea to smart of to those who are suppose to take care of you through any type of surgical procedure. Nor does it give them cart blanc to say what ever they want. Like the old saying- two wrongs don't make a right (just my view).

[GREATFUL 24]

I look at my band as a tool to help me loose weight. I choose not to tell many people. If I choose to get an IUD as a tool to help me not to get pregnant, I sure would not think it was anyones business.