Don't Smoke Crack

[Daisalana 33]

I just had to share something that really tickled me yesterday.

I was watching Cops, and there's a young girl who gets pulled over for erratic driving and unregistered car. They find crack & crystal meth inside.

They talk about how they're going to have to impound the car.. and she breaks into tears saying it's her only transporation.. "What am I suppose to do????" and the cop, calmly says.. "What you're suppose to do is, not smoke crack."

I had to pause the tivo while I fell over laughing. :crying:

Crack is whack!

[travelgirl 3]

Now THAT'S funny. DUH!

[Wheetsin 714]

Ok, just because you brought this up. I don't normally watch COPS. I mean, how many whiskey tangos with one tooth, a wifebeater, and a can of Pabst do I need to see? But the other day hubby was watching it and it was one of the funniest things I've seen on TV. I wish he had TIVOed it because I'd keep it to show people who come over.

They arrested this guy or detained him on the back of the car. As the cops would start to walk away, the guy would mutter some kind of insult, and when the cops would call him on it he would make up some stupid lie.

It happened like 4 times, but the only one I remember was:

Cop: Stay there and behave.

Bad guy: *mutters* Fat head...

Cop: Did you just call me a fat head?

Bad guy: Uh no, no sir officer, I said, "I don't think you have all the facts."

I'm sure it loses humor in translation, but it was SOO funny...

[travelgirl 3]

Yeah, I really hate that show, but it does have it's moments....

[Daisalana 33]

Our Tivo records them as suggestions and when DH & I eat dinner together, we put it on something we both like. Lately, there's been no 'us' shows, so we watch Cops.

It kills the time!

There was another guy on the same episode, who was drunk and wouldn't leave a fast food place.. cops came and told him to leave and he's just going "NO! NO!" and then they say they'll detain him and he still goes "NO!" then they come to push him down and he goes "Here we go.." and then he's upside down on the seat in the squad car and the girl is trying to talk to him and get 'his side' and he just keeps giggling and saying "I'm sorry!" and she goes "Tell me what happened" and he goes "Ok.. what happened is.. I'm sorry!" and he giggles more.

Some people just don't need to get drunk..

As a law abiding citizen, I get a lot of laughs out of shows like this.

[Wheetsin 714]

We do the same thing - TIVO the very, very few TV shows we agree on so that we can watch them during dinner (we're definitely not "dinner at the table" people). This is the crappy tv season where the only show we both like is Ghost Hunters (hence Wed is our "date night"). The other... 2 or 3 shows we agree (Eureka, 4400... that might be it) on haven't started up yet.

We usually end up with something like "wildest so and so (police chases, dumbest criminals, etc.) videos"... Mystery Diagnosis, Diagnosis X, Trauma in the ER or something generic like that.

[Daisalana 33]

Hah sounds just like us, except 4400 and Eureka are part of 'his' shows.. and Trauma in the ER, Mystery Diagnosis, etc.. are 'my' shows.

We never use our dinner table, it's always tv time.

We have very few we like together, it's all comedies.. Till Death, Rules of Engagement, Everybody Hates Chris (which is borderline for me, but I deal with it).. and House. House gives us a date night, it needs to come back on!

[coastlgrl 0]

I loved these posts! It reminded me of the time a "local" and well known drug user came to the office where I work and asked to see the Police Chief. He wanted him to go arrest his supplier because he was just ripped off on his last purchase of Meth - yes, that is a true story. TRUE and scary!

[Wheetsin 714]

I had to go to court a few weeks ago (as a witness - I was rear-ended in January). It was pretty funny. I dressed nice just because I figured you should, and I looked like one of the lawyers (under-dressed, you'd think). Everyone else was in J-Lo style velvet track suits, jeans, sweatpants, etc. I even had someone ask me if I was their lawyer.

This was my first time in court and I was kinda surprised at how it worked. There were probably 60 people in this room. They actually had the bailiff come out and make everyone rise - I thought that was just on tv. They would call people up in front of everyone else, no privacy here! The people next to me -- couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, but the guy kept pinching his gf/wife/whatever and saying "Baby just keep your mouth zipped and lemme do da talking." But when the judge called people up they would try to be hush-hush since they were embarassed, and the judge would say "What son? I can't hear you, gotta speak up!" No secrets that day.

One of the people there had apparently given her daughter's information when she was arrested, and her mom's SSN, her sister's address, etc. The judge asked her why she lied so much and she was like, "I'm a changed woman! I used to have the devil in me!" One of the guys asked to have his fine reduced from 5k to nothing because "My woman spends mad money." All these people would ask for reduced sentences/penalties, and give lame excuses... it was pretty amusing.

BTW, I got yelled at. I sat there for about 3 hours and finally the guy who hit me was calle dup, but I wasn't. Everyone else there as a witness was called up when the guilty party was called, so I tried to ask if I should go up and "Silence! No comments from the benches." So I tried to go up there and was yelled at again -- I had to wait until my name is called. I sat there for like 2 more hours, after the guy who hit me was long gone, and finally crawled to where the prosecutor was. I handed her my summons and she was like, "This guy was called back hours ago." I told her I know, but I was yelled at every time I tried to ask or move... she was like "He plead guilty to all counts." So - "Do you need me?" "Nope!" All damn day in a stinky court room with some seriously stinky/creepy people, and I didn't even need to be there.

[travelgirl 3]

I had to go to court a few weeks ago (as a witness - I was rear-ended in January). It was pretty funny. I dressed nice just because I figured you should, and I looked like one of the lawyers (under-dressed, you'd think). Everyone else was in J-Lo style velvet track suits, jeans, sweatpants, etc. I even had someone ask me if I was their lawyer.

This was my first time in court and I was kinda surprised at how it worked. There were probably 60 people in this room. They actually had the bailiff come out and make everyone rise - I thought that was just on tv. They would call people up in front of everyone else, no privacy here! The people next to me -- couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, but the guy kept pinching his gf/wife/whatever and saying "Baby just keep your mouth zipped and lemme do da talking." But when the judge called people up they would try to be hush-hush since they were embarassed, and the judge would say "What son? I can't hear you, gotta speak up!" No secrets that day.

One of the people there had apparently given her daughter's information when she was arrested, and her mom's SSN, her sister's address, etc. The judge asked her why she lied so much and she was like, "I'm a changed woman! I used to have the devil in me!" One of the guys asked to have his fine reduced from 5k to nothing because "My woman spends mad money." All these people would ask for reduced sentences/penalties, and give lame excuses... it was pretty amusing.

BTW, I got yelled at. I sat there for about 3 hours and finally the guy who hit me was calle dup, but I wasn't. Everyone else there as a witness was called up when the guilty party was called, so I tried to ask if I should go up and "Silence! No comments from the benches." So I tried to go up there and was yelled at again -- I had to wait until my name is called. I sat there for like 2 more hours, after the guy who hit me was long gone, and finally crawled to where the prosecutor was. I handed her my summons and she was like, "This guy was called back hours ago." I told her I know, but I was yelled at every time I tried to ask or move... she was like "He plead guilty to all counts." So - "Do you need me?" "Nope!" All damn day in a stinky court room with some seriously stinky/creepy people, and I didn't even need to be there.

I woulda walked out of there with this look on my face: :thumbup:

[coastlgrl 0]

I could tell you story after story of some of the finest that come to our court...It blows my mind sometimes. Like letting your kids run, screaming all over the office area - in and out of various offices while court is in session, changing your babys diaper in the court room while court is in session - phew! and stealing everything that isn't nailed down in the bathroom...soap, hair spry, bathroom spray - you name it, it has been stolen. Now we have to empty out the restroom before court starts. Sorta sad, huh?

[Marimaru 7]

Well, at least the guy plead guilty!

[Daisalana 33]

The one time I ever had to go to court, to sue some bum who messed up my new car in a drunken rage (don't know him). He didn't show up.. and it was the big room full of other cases, so they held me to last 'just in case' the other guy showed up.. he never did of course. So I was there all day.. and I won by default.. 4k + 8% yearly interest. I guarantee I'll never see a penny of it.

[Kat817 19]

The OP concerning the show Cops---made me think of one I saw years ago, at least I think it was Cops, my DH and I still laugh about it and make inside jokes.

They get a call to go to a local park, there is a man way up in a tree throwing things and cursing at passersby. They get there, and sure enough there is a man up in the tree---he wings a Tequila bottle down at the cops. They try to talk him down, and are asking him his name. This is in El Paso I believe it was....

The cops says "What's your name? Juan?" The guy in the tree says "I don theeeenk so!" So the cop tries another name "Is your name Miguel?" Again he comes back with "I don theeeeenk so!" They repeat this with several names and each time he comes back with the same sing song response of "I don theeeeenk so!" They try to talk him into coming down....and yep he says the same "I don theeeeenk so!"

Eventually, one of the cops hops up, and is going to scale the tree to try to get him down. Well not wanting to be caught, the drunk tries to climb higher, and loses his footing, and falls! Crashing through limbs, and hitting the pavement hard! The cop that was in the tree drops a few feet and goes running towards the other cop, and asks "Is he ok?" The cop tells him "I don theeeeenk so!" It was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now when DH or I get hurt or whatever causes one of us to ask the other "Are you ok?" Well you know the answer to that!!!

Kat

[travelgirl 3]

The OP concerning the show Cops---made me think of one I saw years ago, at least I think it was Cops, my DH and I still laugh about it and make inside jokes.

They get a call to go to a local park, there is a man way up in a tree throwing things and cursing at passersby. They get there, and sure enough there is a man up in the tree---he wings a Tequila bottle down at the cops. They try to talk him down, and are asking him his name. This is in El Paso I believe it was....

The cops says "What's your name? Juan?" The guy in the tree says "I don theeeenk so!" So the cop tries another name "Is your name Miguel?" Again he comes back with "I don theeeeenk so!" They repeat this with several names and each time he comes back with the same sing song response of "I don theeeeenk so!" They try to talk him into coming down....and yep he says the same "I don theeeeenk so!"

Eventually, one of the cops hops up, and is going to scale the tree to try to get him down. Well not wanting to be caught, the drunk tries to climb higher, and loses his footing, and falls! Crashing through limbs, and hitting the pavement hard! The cop that was in the tree drops a few feet and goes running towards the other cop, and asks "Is he ok?" The cop tells him "I don theeeeenk so!" It was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now when DH or I get hurt or whatever causes one of us to ask the other "Are you ok?" Well you know the answer to that!!!

Kat

That is too funny! :puke: