What Happened?

[ralheit 1]

Hello, my name is Robin. I used to be a member of this community. I just passed my 2 year mark and am very sad to say that I am not one of the success stories.

My first year I lost 60 pounds and was very happy and so excited to look forward to a new life. To be able to walk again, play with my grandchildren and just enjoy life in general. My entire second year, I have not lost an ounce. I've actually gained and I have given up. I have been unfilled and filled again. I still vomit almost every time I eat. I don't dare get the band removed, I'll blow up like a balloon and I know it. I try to eat healthy, my exercise has never been great due to pain, but even losing just one pound a week meant everything to me.

A few months ago, not only due to this failure, but this is a part of it. I began thinking suicidal thoughts. I became very distant and depressed. I was frightened. The last time I saw my surgeon, he just made me feel like there was something wrong with me. My primary care physician helped me with kindness and meds. I am still saddened by my results. But I guess I will learn to live with it.

Please think long and hard about what you do. I know that many on this site have had great success, but there are many of us who have not. My primary physician has 5 patients who have had the band, me being the first, and only 1 is doing well. I wish I would have had a bypass, although I was and still am afraid of doing that.

Best wishes to all and I wish you the best with your decision to get the band.

[maziemommy 8]

Thinking of you, and wishing you well. I will send prayers.

[BabyNicole 0]

I'm sorry you are not one of the success stories. But regardless if you're fat or thin, please go see someone about your suicidal thoughts. So many people would miss you if you were gone. HUGS to you!!!

[Scarlett O'hara 0]

Robin,

I am sending you prayers at this very moment. Please find someone to talk to about your sucicial thoughts. As a new Mom who is witnessing grandkids and grandma's falling in love with each other, you need to stick around!

[MerryHearted 20]

I still vomit almost every time I eat.

Then you should get another unfill. I'm sorry you're struggling. Hang in there. A lot of us have gone through periods where we didn't lose, or where we gained. I gained 20 lbs between the end of last May and this Feb. Most of that is off now -- just a few lbs to go and I'll be on my way down again toward my goal.

Did your surgeon check into other reasons for you not losing, if you are eating low-cal and sure your food intake is low enough? I don't know if you remember Vinesqueen (Crystal) who was struggling in 2005/2006 but she ended up finding out she had Cushing's and that was why she could not lose.

Hope that the meds help you. I know antidepressants have been a Godsend for me.

[*susan* 1,709]

Robin, I am so sorry to hear about the problems you are having. I think first and foremost, you do need to talk to someone about the thoughts you are having.

Secondly, I remember you and believe we were banded close to the same time. I am not a success story either, yet. But, I plan to be. Like you, I lost almost 60 pounds my first year. Then, I experienced an overfill and due to my own issues that were going on at the time, I let it go. I had an unfill for a month and then was filled again. Once again, I was overfilled, this time I allowed myself to remain that way for several months. It wasn't very smart of me. I was pb'ing just about everything I ate. You would have thought I would have lost weight by doing that, but I didn't because I started eating around the band. I found ice cream went down very well. Finally, in October I was pretty close to where you are. I felt like I was a complete failure. I finally went to my doctor. The reason I had put it off was due to financial issues. He was so wonderful, he explained that my health was far more important to him than money and to never allow myself to suffer that long again. I had a small slip from all the pb'ing and irritated my esophagus and had to have a complete unfill for about two months. We then decided that I am one of these people who cannot be aggressive with their fills, I need to go very slow with very small amounts and work my way up to restriction. I started working on getting fills again in December. We have gone slow and easy to ensure I don't get too tight and start the endless cycle of pb'ing again. I just had a fill on Monday and believe I am finally at perfect restriction again. Yes, while getting there, I gained some weight back. But, now that I and my doctor understand my issues and that we need to go slow and steady, I am confident that my band will work for me and I will get the weight off.

Perhaps this is what you and your doctor need to look at. You may be like me in that you need to go very carefully with your fills. I know many people get .50 to 1.0 cc in a fill. I am doing about .02 and that makes quite a difference for me and my band. I am not a doctor, so my word isn't gospel. But, that is my experience and I thought it sounded quite a bit like yours, so I wanted to share what we have done to correct my issues and get back on track.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing. We are all concerned for you and want you to be well.

[ralheit 1]

You are all very kind. I know that with all of the vomiting and such, that I also did start to find things that I could keep down that weren't always the right thing. But I still don't think I've done that badly that a pound here or there would drop.

I am feeling better now that I'm on some medication, at least emotionally. But I want so much to be healthy again, it's been so long and I thought that this was the way to go for me.

With all your prayers, and support, maybe I'll get my mind and my body back on track again. I guess it's just hard because so many people say things like, I knew that wouldn't work. Look at all the complications and trouble you went through for nothing, etc. It kind of beats you down.

Thanks for your thoughts.

[girlie2shooz 0]

and those non supporters can kiss your a$$!!! go with it, i think susan had some really good advice. start over, go at it slow and if yoru fill doc is a non supporter then find another one. rome wasn't built in a day, and this fill business is not a science. what's wrong with starting over, you have great experience to use along the way this time!! Sometimes we all have to try things 2-3-4-5-6 times before we get it right, don't beat yourself up. you are human, we make mistakes. love yourself and be kind to yourself, you deserve to be happy and healthy. good vibes to you, g2s

[Long2BFree 12]

Don't let the negative remarks get to you. Prove them wrong by picking yourself up and getting back to doing what works to get the weight off.

By the way, people with gastric bypass can gain their weight back. My aunt had the surgery and gained all of her weight back so it's not a guarantee.

[GaLina 0]

You are all very kind. I know that with all of the vomiting and such, that I also did start to find things that I could keep down that weren't always the right thing. But I still don't think I've done that badly that a pound here or there would drop.

I am feeling better now that I'm on some medication, at least emotionally. But I want so much to be healthy again, it's been so long and I thought that this was the way to go for me.

With all your prayers, and support, maybe I'll get my mind and my body back on track again. I guess it's just hard because so many people say things like, I knew that wouldn't work. Look at all the complications and trouble you went through for nothing, etc. It kind of beats you down.

Thanks for your thoughts.

I haven't been banded yet. But I understand how you feel. I only have told my oldest son and his wife, my sister, and a friend. I don't want all the negativity that some people can throw at you. I worried too about eating. You see I am what some call a night eater. I saw a doc. on tv recently talking about this and she(plus other doc.) had a book out that recognize NES as a disorder. 1st thing I thought was OMG, this is me. So I checked it out of the Library and started reading and more I read the more I recognized me. It has been a great help for me. I still catch myself eating at night but at least now I know.

It probably is not what you do,but just wanted show you that we(as a group of Lb wanting a healthier life) have our problems too and are here for you!

I have my sis to pray for me, So I will put you at the top of my Prayer list.

Please know that we are here for you.

Sallie

[Bel 1]

Ralheit,

I really do understand what your going through as i have been there. When i got the band i thought it would control my eating,stop me from eating to much. And for the first year it did, i kept getting adjustments and it kept shrinking but then i hit a plataeu so i got another adjustment still of the mindframe that if i dont feel pain when i eat then i cant control it because i always ate until i felt pain (full) not contented.

My band settled and my stomach too settled, i kept getting adjustments because i kept being able to eat more then i should. I got it adjusted to the point i couldnt drink or eat anything and thats when i realised that the band isnt meant to stop me from eating too much...thats my job. The band is there to help me be content for LONGER on a smaller amount of food.< /p>

I feel for you because it is hard when it gets to this point but im wondering if you are having the same problem where you feel the band should be controlling your intake and your eating too much rather then listening to your body and eating till your content.

I can eat the same amount as anyone without the band 7yrs after having it, but i learnt that i shouldnt. The band for me was a training tool where at first you need it to stop you but you must learn to stop yourself once your body reaches that point.

Im sorry if this is offensive or way off the mark but i hope it is of some help

Bel

[AprilE 0]

I have found many wonderful and caring friends here...BUT

Like you I am having issues with my band...I have not lost much at all.

I am going back to my weightloss psychologist to tell her my concerns.

To my undoing, I have not walked the line as I should, it is what effort I am putting into this to what I am achieving. I have one more fill to full capacity. I need to exercise more, I need to make better choices...NOBODY is twisting my arm. But at the same time, it still hurts when people ask...HOW MUCH HAVE YA LOST?....well for one, none of your damn business is my first thought. Then it hurts my feelings and makes it awkward to have to tell them nothing.

Lastly...find a local support group. I can't stress this enough. It is an altogether better experience to be able to cry on another's shoulder...whom UNDERSTANDS...HAS BEEN DOWN YOUR ROAD.

In the meantime, we will be here for you...for each other. This will NOT beat me!:Angel_anim:

[BayCityBandster 1]

i am so sorry for the way you are feeling and wish i could offer you a big hug! i am only 5 weeks out from my surgery and have no idea how things will turn out. i do know that after trying on my own to lose, it seemed like the logical next step. but i can tell you that i know how tough it is to read all the success stories -- in my early case, if i read one more post about how somebody is two weeks post-surgery and has lost twice as much as i have at five weeks out, i will rip my already thinning hair out. when i went to my first post-op, everyone had lost way more weight than i had. but i have a thyroid problem, and they do not. everyone is different. have you had a thorough check up to see if you have any other issues preventing you from losing?

my dad is 71 and had the band 5 years ago. he is 50 lbs. down but probably would have been 50 up without it. that is a 100 lb. difference. he keeps losing, slowly, and while he would like to have lost more, he is okay with that.

all i can tell you is the only failure is to stop trying. please don't stop trying to find your path to your goals. you are worth it.