I dont get it

mike93082 · March 27, 2008

Why is it that I am getting so much negative attention towards me deciding to try and get banded? I am a 25 year old male who has been overweight since elementary school. I was only at ideal weight once and that lasted for about 8 months when I lost a lot of weight taking Metabolife with Ephedrine and I felt fantastic but very weird at the same time because I had never been that small before. I still have my pants from when I lost all the weight and I cannot even begin to get them on now.

But it seems everyone is against me doing this. My dad says it is a bad idea, my mother in law thinks it is a waste of time and wont help me, my wife is hesitant on it. My co workers say I am not big enough and am to young for this.

But I am 25 with heart disease in my family, a 6 month old daughter and I weigh about 260 and slowly creeping up in weight as time goes on. I have high bp and I am always tired no matter how much I sleep. I want to do this for me and feel better. I have a first appoinment come this Tuesday. My insurance covers all but 150.00.

Carrie_C · March 27, 2008

Don't let them change your mind. My husband is also against the surgery. I haven't even told anyone else, and I think it is brave of you to have told everyone. I am waiting on approval, and even if I get approved, I am not telling that many people. I think others are just afraid of change, and I also think a lot of people see us trying to improve ourselves, and it makes them jealous, even if they don't realize it. You are not too young. You have to do what you think is best for you. You are the one that has to live with yourself, not anyone else. That is what I tell myself. It is great that your insurance covers it. I say go for it.

krazygrl77 · March 27, 2008

WoW! You need to not let others discourage you. I know it's hard. Some maybe jealous... some may have legit concerns. Either way you're not going this for them.. your doing it for you.

I am not banded yet, but I have always gotten positive feedback from everyone I have talked to. I think it's a blessing.

I wish you the best of luck!

Thin4Anisha · March 27, 2008

You are the male version of me! I turned 25 yesterday, am 268 pds and have not support from anyone I have told about this. I have a 5 year old little girl and am scared that if I do not do this that I will not get to see her graduate high school and college, get married or have babies. My work also offers insurance that covers the surgery.

Stay strong. Only you live inside your skin every single day and feel the effects obesity has on you. And only you know if it is going to work. Having insurance to cover most of the cost is a blessing that you should take advantage of. Do this for you, as I am going to do mine just for me. Why do we have to live with obesity for another 20 years before people will support us? I would rather live those next 20 years healthy and to the fullest!!

TulipStar · March 28, 2008

Sit down and have a serious talk with your closest people who you need support from. That's what I did. I started with my husband (he was dead against it) and told him that I just needed his support..I asked him to come with me to a seminar and when he did he learned that it could really change my life -- OUR life. He then thought is seemed safe and like a good option for me.

justicenyce · March 28, 2008

I know how you feal. Your family may just be scared of surgery or unfortunatly like the others mentioned ...jealous. You know whats right for and you are blessed with insurance :blush:

you know whats right:thumbup:

Bel · March 30, 2008

I have been where you are, the thing is that the people who love you are probably scared. It is major surgery and can have many complications. I got it when i was 15yrs, i had to have legal guardian approval and it took a lot of reassuring to get it, maybe you could try reassuring them by going through the process of what will happen. What you will and wont eat, how you will be supported medically, i found it really helped because im sure they love you very much and want to support you but they may just be scared of losing you :-)

I hope this was of some help

Bel

oops i see other ppl have already suggested this, soz

snowbird · March 30, 2008

Sometimes I think people are also trying to be "nice" by saying, in effect, "you aren't that fat and you look fine to me." My question back to them is always, "how fat do I have to be? How many severe health problems do I have to develop before you think surgery is a good idea? Because they will come, if I don't do something about my weight now."

If you are going into this after researching the band, attempting to lose weight the "right" way through diet and exercise, and know yourself well enough to realize that isn't going to work long term for you, then make the decision on your own and do what you think is best for you. It doesn't matter if they are speaking out of ignorance, concern, love, jealousy, whatever. Do what you think will work best for you.

My daughter had LBS at age 25 and has lost 127 lb. It has changed her from an inactive, unhappy, unhealthy young woman into a happy, proud, active, and beautiful person. I wish I hadn't had to wait until I was in my 50's to get a band.

snuffy65 · March 30, 2008

Well here's my life story.

All of highschool I battled my weight. Then I went on serious diet. I am 5'8" and went from 265 to 155. Did I get "you look great"? Did I get "your donig a good job"?

No, everyone including friends and family would say things like:

"Your too skinny, you need to eat"

"Are you sick, you look bad"

"I liked you went you were chubby"

Now I know alot of people will say I only remember the bad things that were said and not the good. But there wasn't any. The only reaasurance was from myself and a few close friends.

I told my close family and no friends about my choice for a lap band and I am already getting the same kind of negativity.

My wife who I met in my "skinny days" is really the onnly one that supports this decision right now. Oh well, thats enough for me.

Carrie_C · March 31, 2008

I know what you mean snuffy. I wasn't fat when I was a teenager, in fact it was quite the opposite. I never ate much because I was always afraid of getting fat (that fear seemed to go away as I got older for some reason). Everyone was always telling me I was too skinny and I needed to eat. But then when I did start gaining weight in my 20's everyone would tell me I needed to stop eating. I still have relatives that ask me why don't I go on a diet. I think no matter what we do people will talk and be negative. I think we just have to try to ignore it as much as possible. We are the ones who have to deal with our weight.