This thread is going to be sooo inappropriate!

[plain 12]

A big part of why the band is working for me is mindset (IMO). I have always looked at the band as an adjunct to a healthier lifestyle....a bridge to get me from here to there....a (I know it's horribly cliched here) tool. I read all the time on here (granted, mostly from newbies) basically how some people expect the band to either 1)somehow magically remove the desire to eat, or 2) physically stop them from eating too much, like a food policeman or something. Both of those views are flawed, but the second is the one that makes me cringe when I read it.

I realize that right now I'm possibly underfilled, by some standards. There are very few foods that I can't tolerate. The thing is, my portion sizes are way, way down. Down to the point where I'm literally eating less than half of what I would pre-band. Combine those portions with exercise, and I'm losing weight.

The perception that I'm using my band, as opposed to relying on it, is a source of pride for me....as flawed as that may be. It gives me a little self-esteem boost to have to "work" a bit to lose the weight, as opposed to being so tight that my band is doing all the work. Ah, now I'm rambling...but y'all have been so honest here that I guess I got into a semi confessional, though incoherent, roll. Sorry aboot that.

*edited to add:

reading back over this, I see that it comes off as completely judgemental. I wasn't thinking of any of y'all that have been having trouble when I wrote this.

[Jachut 487]

No, I totally get that plain. This has been very hard work and I feel a great sense of pride in the fact that most of that hard work came from ME, not the band. It doesnt make me run, it doesnt make me train. It just gave me the confidence that this time it would work which gave me the confidence and faith to actually DO it this time.

Its easy to underestimate the affect on your appetite and remember how hard it was to stick to a healthy diet before though.

I too am underfilled by the standards expressed on here. Things that make you go hmmmm...

Edited February 19, 2009 by Jachut

[green 6]

Jachut's experience has been mine, too. The band has put a physical stop to my gluttony and in the interim I have forced myself to pay much more attention to what I eat, to do the homework, as it were. The band has been a very positive experience for me.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Mac, do you ever feel sad when you want to eat more than the sleeve will let you? I don't have that problem with the band, because with the fill I have, I can eat a normal size portion. It's willpower to take half the food and put it in a to go box, not the band.

My friend is getting a sleeve, and I told her WasA said she could only eat 1/4 of a sandwhich. That made her sad. She asked how soon she would be able to eat the other 3/4. I mean, it has to be hard to go out to eat and not be able to eat even as much as someone banded can eat.

[Nanook 2]

I think genetics play a big role in weight. Maybe in some people they happen to sit on their asses and eat all day long but the majority of people aren't like that. Obesity is a very complicated issue. Ghrenlin may play a major roll in some people's weight issues but not every one's as far as we know. I think in many ways this big "obesity" scare that everyone is on can be part of the problem.

If the band is working and you're able to keep it off forever that's wonderful but those of us who grew up fat and dieted, lost, gained even more, dieted, loss, gained more again - yo yo'd most of our lives and there are many of us like this it has made us fatter. There are many of us who were fat and have made it worse by dieting as we know dieting doesn't really work.

So we're told we're obese and need to lose weight and diet and exercise and as you know there are plenty of us who exercise and don't lose a pound. If we want to lose weight and keep it off we're basically stuck with some form of WLS. Now if you try that and it doesn't work then we're apt to revise to a "better" one.

We all want to get to a smaller us but getting there and keeping it off is still a problem for most of us. I still have hope that the medical community will come up with something in our near future that will help us, hopefully less drastic than WLS and hopefully something that won't bring about another yo yo in our lives.

They seem to spend a lot of time and money saying we're all obese and we need to lose weight but they really don't seem to have much of a clue as how to really fix the problem in my opinion. I don't know about you but I don't sit on my couch all day and eat bon bons but I have spent most of my life dieting and have had WLS and I'm still close to the weight where my body seems to want to go to.

[Nanook 2]

Mac,

I agree it is a leap of faith that's why this time I spending more time on whether or not I'm going to do it. Before I knew I wanted WLS but which one. Now I want to be sure it will work for me before I decide to have it as I don't think I could really "deal" with another failed WLS.

My daughter had none of the comorbs I had just a really high BMI. I'm also perimenopausal and have an underacitve thyroid and type II diabetes and on antidepressants. The whole hormonal thing plays a large roll in my life now that I didn't have when I was her age and then was able to drop 100 pounds twice but of course put it back on both times. We're close in body types but with her age and lack of other issues has a lot to do with her success. I still wonder if I could be successful not to be self prophetic but I need to be really sure this time.

I suppose it's not just that I'm related to my daughter that makes me think I could do better but I've been with her through her whole journey and know more what it's like you know what I mean. There are no guarantees though.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Nancy, Time will tell how well your daughter will be able to keep the weight off. Everyone in my support group who has had RNY past 3 years, really struggles to keep it off. They all exercise like crazy and do the best they can making good food choices. When they all gained weight at Christmas time, they all said at last support group that they can't seem to lose it.

I know my daughter is 3 years out and has gained back 40 that she can't seem to lose. There are so many people in this town who have had the RNY and the 40 has turned into 80 down the road, and so on.

[Nanook 2]

OK,

Now I remember who you are as you changed your screen name too.

You know I worry more about my daughter than myself. I know because I've gained back weight quickly twice that it happens. I know because I've seen all the famous people on TV who have had the RNY done and you see it come back on. My daughter is the only person I know personally who has had this surgery. She is only post-op May 08.

I don't want my daughter doing an emotional downhill spiral if that happens to her. I suppose I've been prepared though for it from the beginning on how to help her. She's still in therapy and I think it helps her and am hoping that will help her also if/when that happens. Of course once she had the surgery I joined a forum just when I had questions as she is not a forum girl.

I know from Obesityhelp.com's revision section that every surgery has been revised to every surgery. I think I've seen someone have 3 different ones, I don't know what the high number is yet. But I assume they all can fail in one way or another. I never go to the point where I lost the weight but gaining it back is very stressful on the psyche. Having WLS and gaining weight is very damaging to the psyche too. My psyche is a bit fragile so that's why I'm back and forth about what I'm going to do. Either way I'm damned if I do or damned if I don't! My opinion is that the sleeve wouldn't work for me if the lap band didn't work. Maybe I'm wrong but I don't think it's an option anyway.

I remember you said you daughter had children too right? Do you think there is a connection between the pregnancy/(s) and the weight gain at all? My daughter has never had dumping syndrome, I guess I expected that to happen too.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I suppose it's not just that I'm related to my daughter that makes me think I could do better but I've been with her through her whole journey and know more what it's like you know what I mean. There are no guarantees though.

We kinda disagree on this one. There really is one thing that is guaranteed, without some sort of surgery you will stay obese.

Some prefer obesity to surgery, some don't. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer, just our own answers.

[MistyD65 1]

Mac, do you ever feel sad when you want to eat more than the sleeve will let you? I don't have that problem with the band, because with the fill I have, I can eat a normal size portion. It's willpower to take half the food and put it in a to go box, not the band.

My friend is getting a sleeve, and I told her WasA said she could only eat 1/4 of a sandwhich. That made her sad. She asked how soon she would be able to eat the other 3/4. I mean, it has to be hard to go out to eat and not be able to eat even as much as someone banded can eat.

Oregon, I experienced that very early in the process, in the first couple of days after I moved to soft foods. I found myself almost *angry* that I couldn't eat as much as I wanted to. I remember standing with the fridge door open, taking out my chicken salad, and feeling that anger just below the surface...that I knew I should only eat 1/2 cup, but I WANTED more. And it shocked the hell out of me. That was a big turning point for me in my self-awareness about my eating habits. I now understand that the desire for large quantities is just that...a desire, a want...not a physical need. My physical hunger is satisfied by the smaller portions. But I still have to work hard to convince my head.

I think only one thing can be said with certainty about the hows and whys of obesity and WLS, and that is: nothing is certain. There are as many reasons for obesity as there are obese people. The tendency for many, even among ourselves, is to lump us all together. But we all have different relationships with food, we all respond to hunger - be it head or physical - differently, our bodies respond to the band in ways that really can't be predicted. I do think that there needs to be more disclosure to prospective band patients about the down sides of banding, especially the fact that it just does not work for some, often due to factors that do not reveal themselves until after the fact. And access to fills and unfills should be easy and affordable, with no fear of being put down or shamed by doctors or nurses.

I applaud those of you who are speaking honestly of your problems and dissatisfaction with the band. Knowledge is power, forewarned is forearmed. I am very happy with my band, it is working for me, and my every intention is for it to be the last thing I ever need in my Quest for a healthy weight. But I'm sure that was everyone's intention.

I'm very grateful for this resource of LBT and all of the combined experience and knowledge that is available here.

Edited February 19, 2009 by MistyD65

[Nanook 2]

What I mean is that she's right there to ask what something is like and what can go wrong and what can go right. I know if I don't revise I'm not going to be thin, that's a given. But some people have real issues with failure and I suppose I'm one of them. I guess you're saying that it's better to take a chance with surgery and fail than to stay fat but it's the failure part that I'm afraid of more so than being fat in the first place. I know I sound a bit of a loon but that's how I feel.

[Nanook 2]

MistyD65,

Very well said!:tt2:

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Misty, I have the band too, but I can eat way more than a fourth of a sandwich. I don't want to be so tight that I have to worry all the time about pbing or damaging my stomach. I am wondering how much a person with the sleeve can eat, and if it is upsetting to them to not be able to eat even a bandster size meal.

That's why I asked Mac. I already know how much WasA can eat, because she told me.

[BJean 16]

jachut mentioned a "trigger" that happens with obese people. I believe that it definnitely happens with some obese people.

I'm not sure if the yo-yo dieting beings it on or what. But I believe that for some of us, eating is to our obesity as not eating is to an anorexic. Boy that sounds weird. But I believe that some people have a compulsion to eat, just like some people can't force themselves to eat.

This complicates things tremendously. It's going to take a lot more studies and a lot more research before anyone can guarantee results for anyone.

In the frickin' meantime, what the heck do we do? I'm scared to death of more surgery. Especially a surgery that tampers with my normal bodily functions that cannot be reversed if necessary. On the other hand, if a sleeve really gave me the tool that helped me get normal, I would do it.

And wasa, yes, I would do all those horrible things if it helped me become slim again. I do several of those things now and I'm still fighting tooth and nail to keep from regaining every damn pound I lost within the first 4 months after surgery.

All this talk about ghrelin makes me wonder if the band is making my system produce more. I have a gnawing hunger in my stomach almost 24/7. Curse words.

[BJean 16]

oregon I can understand why you are interested in the answer to that question.

For me, when I can only eat a bite or two, I am delighted! I push the plate away and I feel strangely happy and relieved. I get excited thinking about actually losing more weight. But I have also had some of the adverse problems that go along with not being able to eat much. And once I am able to eat more, I have a hard time not eating everything I can get my hands on. I feel like Jeckle & Hyde when it comes to food.