Depression Sucks

[MicheleK 8]

:thumbup: :eek: :rant: :crying:

I hate being depressed, I've been a deep funk for the last week and I can't seem to shake it off.

Part of the reason is I'm currently unemployed (not going back to work until I recover from surgery). I feel not having a reason to get up in the morning (I don't have kids) is having a negative impact on me. I'm SO unmotivated and cranky. It's also TOM and that's giving me issues as well (seeing the doc tomorrow, hoping I can get some help).

I want my surgery, and I want to get on with my life. I sort of feel like I'm "on hold" until I can get through this 90 diet thing for my insurance. I've really been lashing out at my DH, and I think he's pretty tired of dealing with me. He asks me "What's wrong?" and I scream at him to leave me alone.

I have issues people...what in the hell is my problem???

I know most of it if weight related, I've never been this heavy in my life. I get out of bed and feel like an old lady from the joint pain and the headaches (sleep apnea, sucks). I had a sleep study last week and I'm hoping I'll get some help from my PCP tomorrow.

Ugh, I'm SO unmotived and bitchy....I just wanna cry all day. I haven't even left the house in like 3 days.

[Blund 0]

I take meds for depression. Tried to go off them a couple of times in the last 10 years, but ended up back on them. Please be honest with your Dr. There isn't much of that stigma with depression meds anymore. Losing weight and stress can cause all kinds of havok with the chemicals in your body. Nature really stuck it to women with our hormones and all! Estrogen is stored in our fat, so when we lose the fat, the estrogen blasts through us!

I did a sleep study too as part of my ammunition for insurance approval. I have sleep apnea, not severe, but I was only getting about 3 - 6 or 7 minute chunks of REM sleep a night! Since getting my CPAP machine, I feel SOOOOOOOOO much better. That may help you too.

Again, make sure you ask for help from your PCP.

Good Luck.

[NanaRenan 0]

Hi, MicheleK....I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I've battled depression a lot in my life, and know all-to-well the feeling of being "on hold". But while there isn't a lot you can do to hurry up the process, you can try to occupy yourself while you wait.

My first suggestion is -- when you AREN'T at the point of jumping down his throat, be as kind and appreciative of your husband as you can manage. It'll help make up for some of the negatives and you're gonna need his support over the long haul!!

My BEST suggestion is -- find something TO DO, MAKE, CREATE. If you have a hobby -- even if you haven't touched it in years, dig it out, dust it off, stir it up and force yourself to do it. Anyone who's ever worked with mental health knows how therapuetic it is. (Personally, I believe it's also a spiritual issue, but I'll keep that to myself.) Anyhow, simple science, creating (sewing, cooking, gardening, painting, music, writing, crafting, etc.) uses a different part of your brain that the one you run on every day AND it causes the rest of your brain to be flooded with endorphins. No way can that be anything but positive for someone in your situation.

Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.

[Wheetsin 714]

It pretty much doesn't happen that someone has 200 lbs to lose and ISN'T depressed, at least situationally. We also have "funks" and it sounds like you're in one.

How far out is your surgery? I see about a month until your 2nd nutritionist appt, but how far out does surgery look like? If you need work as validation (MANY people do) then you could always get a temp job, or one you wouldn't mind walking away from, until your surgery comes up. If it's significantly far away, your benefits will likely have kicked in my surgery time and being out a week won't matter.

If you won't work, find something to busy yourself with. Hobbies? Crafts? Volunteer work?

It sounds like your husband is a good guy. He's "ok" with you not working (that says more than most husbands out there), it sounds like he's trying to be supportive, etc. Just really try to stop and think before you speak. Crabiness makes us snappy, and all that really does is give us more to apologize for later on, and cause lots of hurt feelings in the meantime. Maybe just sit him down ad tell him -- I'm sorry, I'm in this funk and I'm not sure why, I know I've been bitchy, please help me. You'll probably get good results.

[MicheleK 8]

Thanks Nana & Blund for the kind words.

I've been taking Lexapro for about 6 months, not working for me, just makes me very tired. I was diagnosed with depression about 10 yrs ago (I was in a VERY abusive marriage), plus it runs in my family, big time. I will discuss a med change with my PCP tomorrow...you're right.

I'm looking at the crossstitch my mother-in-law gave me (she can't do it anymore because of her eyesite). I've never even tried it, but I think today is a good day to give it a shot.

I wish I didn't feel so crappy...but your posts helped. I know I'm not alone and someone does feel like listening.

I think I'll actually be nice to DH when he gets home...I know I gotta give the poor guy a break. He's wonderful and so supportive (he even suggested I stay off work until I'm done with surgery...in the hopes I'll have plenty of time to recover and get settled into a routine). It's funny how when you're really crabby you take it out on the folks you love the most.

[MicheleK 8]

Wheetsin, I'm on almost halfway done with my 90 day dr supervised diet as required by Aetna. We are hoping for a mid-June date. Yes, you're right I need to do something as a temp...I'm going to look into it. I don't do well not working at all. Thank you for your response.

Crosstitch, here I come!

[NanaRenan 0]

I think I'll actually be nice to DH when he gets home...I know I gotta give the poor guy a break. He's wonderful and so supportive (he even suggested I stay off work until I'm done with surgery...in the hopes I'll have plenty of time to recover and get settled into a routine). It's funny how when you're really crabby you take it out on the folks you love the most.

Glad we helped some....guess that's the primary function of this forum is to help one another!

Yes, pick up that needle and thread, but don't get too caught up in making something perfect, just concentrate on the ACTION of doing it. (Depressives are often perfectionists who sabotage themselves with unrealistic goals! SOUND FAMILIAR, ANYONE??)

And I'm so glad that you're consciously trying to give your hubby a break. It's true, we DO take things out on the people who love us unconditionally -- because no one else would stick around and take it!!! I'm blessed to have a great husband! And altho' he isn't that great at reading my mind and knowing exactly what to say and when to say it, he tries...sometimes making it worse -- (I had to have a port revision last week and have been a little cranky post-op:angry:) -- before stopping and just asking, "What do you need from me right this minute...?":wub:

[harlito 0]

MicheleK.

Depression happens and it does suck! I've been having my TOM for about 6 months now and I'm a guy!

I think those funk moods are there to make us stronger when we finally get out of them. It's like a bad date, you never want to go there again. So each time you hit that funk you learn something new to watch out for and never go out with that one again. Pretty soon you'll meet the right one and by that time the weight will be gone - no more funk.

I've been in one now for about a week - I realized I am going to have to give up beer.

See? I'm already getting funky again.