Why I am fat....

Tropicana · March 18, 2005

i am fat cause I truly am frightened of being hungry. I graze throughout the day. A cookie here...a glass of juice fifteen minutes later....a slice of bread..snack snack snack throughout the day.

Would getting lap band surgery actually resolve this problem? how can i lose weight if i am always eating? I'm afraid that if i get the surgery all that will happen is that my brain will switch...I'll eat smaller portions more often. I'll just end up in the same situation I am in now...just with scars.

Am I the only one with this problem or what?

Penni60 · March 18, 2005

Tropicana: I am a grazer as well. I still have those tendancies but I have managed to lose 56 lbs since being banded. If I had not had the surgery I would still graze and most likely be heavier than when I started. So, to answer your question yes you will still have the grazing tendancy but you will eat less. The band works as much as you work it. It isn't a quick fix to all our eating issues. You gotta do that work. UGH!! I know I hated hearing that too. But I am down 56 lbs and I am a grazer still. I just try to keep healthier stuff to graze on in the house. I don't buy anymore of my grazing foods.

Hope that helps.

DeLarla · March 18, 2005

Trop, there's a great thread called, "Why are you fat." You should read some of those posts since lots of people are like you. I'll find it and bump it for you.

Tropicana · March 18, 2005

Thanks you two.

being fat is driving me insane. I work in a field where most of my colleagues are of normal weight and being obese is frowned upon. Yet, companies sponsor extravagant meals for us on a daily basis and even though i know what effect the food will have on me...i can't control myself. I had an ex that told me that he can't respect someone who can't exhibit more self control (even though he was addicted to porn ). I'm the fattest person in my family, including my linebacker football playing brother. I wake up thinking about food and go to sleep happy that something is in my belly but if you really ask me if the food tastes good, i couldn't tell you...I scarf it down so fast. I'm sick of being a size 20 and I'm sick of people telling me how pretty i could be. I can't stand fat people...self hatred I wonder? Most....no ALL...of my friends are thin. I guess I keep the hope that if i emulate their behaviors maybe i'll start looking like them. the problem is that most of my thin friends are slobs...they never work out...they always eat junk food...yet...they manage to stay thin. I have great blood pressure...yesterday it was 114/70 something...no morbidities. I'm in perfect health other than my weight and back pain. I'm just sick of being fat. i hate looking at my reflection in the mirror and wondering what I can do....

I'm having a shitty day.

DeLarla · March 18, 2005

Awwe, Trop, we all feel for you. None of us got Banded just for sport, that's for sure. We all felt the same way you do right now. I still feel that way after losing 70 pounds.

The first 70 came off, but then I regained my old, ugly eating habits. I'm totally different than you though because I don't graze at all. I eat like the best Bandster in the world during the day. Nice little diet Protein shake for Breakfast, a chicken leg with a few carrot sticks for lunch, a gallon of Water. Then at night I lose my marbles, and I'm on the verge of losing my Band since I'm not taking care of it. I don't have any restriction right now, and I can eat too much junk food. But even when I feel my little pouch pressed full, I don't stop eating. I don't have a local band surgeon, and I've already had 2 ports removed due to infection, so I'm all screwed up in the head. Also, I'm stuck with huge financial burdens since I self-paid and had the extra surgeries. Every day I come home and find a few more thousand dollars in Band-related expenses. This is NOT an easy journey.

There's a huge, enormous psychological component of weight loss surgery that I'm simply not dealing with very well. I don't have hardcore professional support, and I don't know where to find it. I'm alone at night, and food is more powerful than me during this phase of my life.

But, for today I have my little Band. I do get a little restriction during the day, and even though I'm eating too many goodies, I'm still not eating heaps of food along with it like I used to. I'm rambling.

Alexandra · March 18, 2005

Tropicana, all we here can do is share our own experiences. What has changed about my relationship with food since I've been banded is that it no longer occupies my mind at all times the way it used to. Why is that? Simply because I am not hungry.

It's taken time for me to reach this place--being banded does not change your behaviors overnight. But I also had the fear of being hungry that you describe; I would eat big meals in part to "hold me" until the next meal. The band has made that both impossible and totally unnecessary. Impossible because eating a big meal takes an inordinate amount of time to prevent serious discomfort, and totally unnecessary because the hunger is truly gone for hours. I may not even notice that it's mealtime, sometimes.

Of course I still get the silly urges to pop something in my mouth when walking past a table of holiday treats, or to stop for ice cream every time I see an ice cream parlor. And sometimes I indulge, without regret. But MOST of the time I'm able to keep my mind off the food and focused on something else with very little effort, because those little hunger pangs that used to be constant are, simply, absent. It's brought me freedom and joy, while still presenting the ability to enjoy the hell out of meals like the amazing lunch I had today. (A cup of salmon chowder, a crab cake appetizer, and one-third of an absolutely incredible dessert: warm chocolate-pudding cake with Heath Bar ice cream. WOW.) And I am totally satisfied and will be for HOURS.

DeLarla · March 18, 2005

Dang, and all I brought for lunch is a can of Spaghetti-Os. Old Mother Hubbard and all! I hope Chloe doesn't find out I borrowed her O's. I need that dessert!

Alexandra · March 18, 2005

Don't get the idea that we eat like that all the time here. No such luck. Somehow I rated being taken out by a colleague I helped out while he was on a recent vacation. Hey, I'm not proud! If it means chocolate-pudding cake I'll fill in for anyone!!