food hunger and lack of support

deenagal1984 · March 21, 2008

I just had the lapband done on tuesday. I'm doubting if it was a good idea. First off I have hardly any support from my family. No one wanted me to get it, and now they wave food around in my face. I'm having a hard time with this and to have a lack of support is making it that much more difficult. To top things off I am starving. These Soups and scrambled eggs aren't doing anything to quench my hunger. How did you all get through this process?:shades_smile:

CarlaG · March 21, 2008

I am on day 8 and today I am having head hunger. I understand what you are saying about support (or lack of it).

I'm going to vent for a minute since your post kind of goes along with what I am feeling right now.

My mother had asked me if I could eat out if they went out for Easter dinner. I told I could as long as the restaurant serves Soup as I am still on liquids and that I would enjoy going out since I have been nowhere in the last 8 days. Well today she calls me and says, oh we've decided we are cooking at home so bring what you can eat. WTF. If I wanted to eat the same stuff I've been eating for 8 days, I would just stay home! This is all because my sister (it always has to be about her) doesn't want to eat out. I'm so angry that I just want to eat!

The whole point of my vent is you are probably experiencing the same thing. You can't let them get the best of you. You did what was right for you, not them. My husband seems to think that my mother doesn't like the fact that I got banded because she has an emotion investment in my being heavy (of course my sister and brother are both thin) and she is threatened by the fact that I am trying to get healthy and thinner.

Do you think your family is possibly the same? How do they treat you otherwise? Were they nice to you before or derrogatory (sp?)?

Anyhow, don't let the head hunger make you think you are really hungry. I have yet to get really hungry and I am struggling today knowing that it is head (or heart) hunger. We have to stop using food as a comfort.

Comfort yourself with the brave decision you made to make a better you!!! Please keep thinking that and you will feel much better. Also know now that your post has helped someone else because as I'm speaking to you, it is also easing the pain and betrayal I'm feeling from my own mother.

Thank you....and keep your chin up...it does get better and easier :shades_smile:

Socalbandit · March 22, 2008

You may not necessarily agree with what I am going to say but here it goes. Do you really think that going out is the best thing just 8 days out? This is how I feel about eating out. I am 10 weeks out and have not gone out at all. I miss it, but I still don't feel like I could control myself yet. I am going out for the first time on Easter and am a little nervous about it. I am going to share a meal with my husband but that is still more food than I normally eat. It is hard to sit in a restaurant and not eat what you want. Then you get on the pity pot and don't have a good attitude about your weight loss. Also, I feel like my conviction has to be the strongest in the beginning or else I will start to cheat here and there and before you know it, I have fallen off the wagon. I am down 37 lbs and it just feels so good to be in such control. I know it is hard but just keep your eye on the prize. I hope this helps. Have a wonderful Easter regardless of where you eat. It becomes so important to take the importance off the food. It is a daily struggle but one I feel like I am winning with each day that I don't give in to temptation.

bettyann29 · March 22, 2008

so sorry to hear that.. I was just banded on Monday and luckily my entire family stands behind me.. I even didnt tell my parents because I thought they might freak out when they found out that I actually did it.. but when I came home on Monday night I called my mom and told her all about it.. I was glad to see her and my dad show up at my home yesterday to check on me.. They didnt know of my health problems and now know and are behind me 100%.. My husband and kids are great about it.. however I know for me that I did this for me not necessarily for anyone else.. I knew that I was at the point that I had to do something for my health.. of course I will say that I want to lose the weight so that I can do more with my kids, do things with my husband that I havent been able to, but at the end of the day this was for ME..

I've learned in the last few days that this isnt going to be an easy road.. We are having ceramic tile put in most of our house so we havent been able to cook for a few days so the rest of the family has had to go out and bring something in.. Boy it smelled good, but I know that this is something I have to learn.. control.. I know that down this long journey things will have to change for me.. I will have to drink more Water than I ever have.. I will have to give up so much but it will be sooooo worth it..

I am excited to say that I am 5 days post op and I am down 17 pounds since I started my preop diet less than 2 weeks ago.. Im excited to see where this is going to lead me or actually where I am going to lead myself..

I know that once Im back to being able to eat I will have to learn to eat all over again.. Going out to eat will take more will power than anything I think for me.. I enjoy doing that with my husband..

Im also one who is somewhat afraid of the first time I go out to eat... I will have to get this whole thing down first before I take that big step..

If it were me.. I would go online and look for various Soup recipes.. Id find the one that I like the best and Id make it and thats what I would take and I would enjoy every bite of it while Im thinking how great I will look and how great I will feel down the road..

Good luck to you and hope things brighten up for you..

CarlaG · March 22, 2008

Socalbandit,

I'm not really concerned about going out to eat. I know what my limits are right now since I am still on liquids. I can have a cup of Soup and be happy. So far I have not felt hunger so I'm not worried about having a pity party. The point of going out was being able to socialize and have my family realize that I can still be part of a "normal" social situation.

I really don't feel that going out to eat is any different than staying home and cooking for my family. How much closer and intimate can you get to food than hands on? There is much more opportunity and temptation right there than ordering a controlled portion off a menu. Not cooking for my family is not an option so I have been cooking for them and making my own dinner. I could be having a pity party everyday but I choose not to. This was my choice and I have to adjust.

My point in my post was to point out to Deenagal that her situation (as mine was today) is most likely an "emotional" hunger versus "true" hunger.

Believe me, I am self-pay so there is no way I am going to screw this up whether it be cooking at home or going to a restaurant but I am not going to stop my social life either because of this band. I have to learn how to live in the "real" world.