Anyone not told kids about their lapband

[angelface 1]

Has anyone not told thier kids about their lapband surgery? I'd like to not tell my kids. I don't want them to think they could eat anything they want and think they could just get surgery when they grow up. I have 4 normal size kids and 1 a little overweight.

[Angie4b1g 1]

I didn't tell mine. I didn't want to give them a complex about their weight (even though they are all revoltingly thin).

[angelface 1]

How did you keep it from them when you came home in pain from the hospital and only drank liquids and ate mushies for weeks and now eat very little.

[Hollybelles 0]

I have two kids in college and one in high school. I decided to tell only my DH, my mom, and 2 close friends. If my college kids come home and notice a positive change in my appearance, I'll accept any compliments that may come my way. If they don't notice any difference, there won't be any comments one way or another...the topic of weight loss won't come up.

I'm doing this for myself, so I choose to keep it to myself. I've read too many posts where news of this type gets out and people expect instant results. People sometimes seem critical when your progress doesn't measure up to their expectations.

Just my $.02

[MacMadame 81]

My kids all know. I like to be really upfront with them.

My grandmom was rather secretive about things -- had breast cancer and didnt' tell us until months after the mascetomy, for example -- and my mom has always been a bit squirrelly about health issue -- told me she had an underactive thyroid when she was taking diet pills and then later couldn't remember having said that when I asked about her thyroid condition -- and I think that these sorts of things have impacted my relationship with them, especially with my grandmother.

I don't want to put my kids in that position. So I've told them I'm thinking about it and dd and I watched a Lap band surgery together. (She's into blood and guts and science and thought it was cool.) I plan to bring her to a support group meeting at some point, too. I plan to bring dh because he's really going to have to change his cooking and grocery shopping style once I get the band. No more "Pasta and gravy" with no veggies two nights a week for us!

[dancinglamb 0]

What about *little* kids? I have a 5 and 3yo. My 5yo wanted to know what came in the boxes today from UPS. They were the Optifast powder mixes and Vitamins for the 2w preop liquid Diet Fest.

I'm wondering how I'm going to go about explaining all this food/diet/weight stuff to her. The surgery/recovery thing I'm not so worried about - I had ankle reconstruction and Achilles tendon surgery last year, so she's not so freaked out about 'big owies'. The food thing though - that's a whole different story.

-m

ETA - Both kiddos are thin/normal in size and don't have food issues. Yet. (thank God)

Edited March 22, 2008 by dancinglamb
Added additional thought

[Christal 0]

My son is 10 now and he knew all about it. He isn't heavy and probably never will be - he is type 1 diabetic, but I also wanted him to know that eating unhealthy is not good. I don't know how I would hide it from him. The littlest kids are most observant.

[Blund 0]

I've been kicking this whole idea around for a couple of months now. (There are quite a few threads/posts on the topic.) I think it depends on the kids' ages. Mine are young (and THIN) too, 5,7,& 9 yrs; with the 2 oldest being girls. Now that I actually have a surgery date, it's going to be on my mind more. I have 3 more pre-op appts, then I'll be on the pre-op diet, then at the hospital, then home for recovery, and then new eating habits. All of this additiional activity will be pretty obvious. I don't really want them blabbing it to their friends all over school, but mostly I don't want to give them a complex either (like Angie4b1g said). But on the other hand, it may not affect them and I'm making too much of it. My surgery is a month out and so far only my DH and 1 good friend know.

I would suggest searching the threads on the topis for other ideas.

[angelface 1]

I met a lady in the lapband office waiting room who said she never told her 2 kids -ages 11 and 14 about the lapband. Her surgery was a year ago and she said that she had a hernia operation and now she says she's just watching what she eats to loose weight. She said it's no ones business but her and her husbands and she doesn't want her kids telling anyone.

[The Fireman 1]

Didnt really think that it was any of their business.the oldest is 40 and the youngest is 26.The youngest is an RN,BSN and she has been very helpful with a lot of peofessional advise that otherwise I would have had to pay for.

[Hollybelles 0]

IMHO, I think some things should be private...between husbands and wives, and a few very close friends who can offer support after the surgery.

I draw a big distinction between the Lap-Band procedure--which is totally elective and under my control--and diseases which may run in families like cancer, diabetes, addictions, high blood pressure, etc. These things I did not hide from my children; they had the right to know (when they were old enough to understand the implications for their lives). I grew up with an extremely secretive mother but she never kept family health issues from me.

[HarleyGirl 1]

My daughter, who is 15, has become one of my greatest sources of support, inspiration and love.....she's the one that says..."Let's go for a walk" or "Mom, you look so pretty today" or "I'm so proud of you" at just the right time.

My weight frightened her.....she was afraid of losing me to another problem.

She's a "normal" weight with no food issues and I think it's been good for her to see me finally work on getting this under control.

[jaylow 1]

I have to girls 4 and 9. they both have always eaten more than I and are stick thin. I have no intention of telling them about my surgery. They know that I am on a healthy diet that I chose to give up soda, bread etc. I don't know if this is the best solution or not just one I've chosen for myself.

[Blund 0]

jaylow,

My girls are 7 & 9 and I'm scheduled to be banded 4/24. How long have you been banded? Did your kids EVER ask what was up or anything? Mine are both sticks too, but its a bad age for girls & body image, so I'm not sure what I'll do.

[MacMadame 81]

I draw a big distinction between the Lap-Band procedure--which is totally elective and under my control--and diseases which may run in families like cancer, diabetes, addictions, high blood pressure, etc.

There is evidence that some aspects of obesity are genetic.