Second Thoughts

[nathenag 0]

I am going to my consult tomorrow morning and the psych eval in the afternoon, my surgeon recommends doing them both in the same day so things move faster. For the last few weeks I've been getting a lot of pressure from my friends and family except my wonderful hubby, to forget about surgery. Everyone love me and really don't believe that I'm 204lbs since I carry it all between my breasts and knees. I can dress to hide most of it. I'm so confused now. I almost cancelled my appointments b/c no one but hubby are supportive. Hubby wants me to do what makes me happy and healthy. He doesn't care about my weight, he chalks it up to me giving him 2 babies that were too big for me to carry well. Any encouragement would be great.

[SuzanneG 1]

I was 209 the day of my consult. I had plenty of folks try to discourage me too, my sister being the worst one. Well, after 2 1/2 months, she's now telling her overweight friends that they should do what I did and get the band!

Those same people, by the way, are now telling me I should stop losing weight because I look great now. Well, I just graduated from Plus size dept to Misses, I'm not stopping now.

My conclusion is that people are people and for the most part, the sad truth is that they don't want you to lose. Some won't want you to look better than them, some will be afraid that you won't want them around anymore if you are thin, some just love to comiserate. Even those who love you may not always want what's best for you.

Personally, I think it's the single greatest thing I've ever done for myself. DH has been supportive from the start, like yours, so I say go for it! You'll be so glad you did.

[nathenag 0]

Thanks Suzanne, with the DH being so great and telling him about what other people were saying he told me to go b/c it would be better to start the process and change my mind later then stop now and change my mind back and have to wait forever to get another consult. I'm going to Dr. Bautista at Commonwealth Surgeons at St. Mary's in Richmond. I think I've told you that before. I'm going to continue this journey and get fit.

[bandfan1 0]

Nicole:

Carrying your weight in your mid-section is the most dangerous place to carry it. You are at a higher risk for future heart disease. I carry my weight in the same place. I have skinny legs, but a big stomach. I just found out that I have diabetes and sleep apnea. I'm 46 and not going to let my weight shorten my life!!!

The benefits of lapband definitely outweigh the risks.

[insideOutGrl 0]

Hey Nicole!

Bravo on taking charge of your own health. I felt a little of what you're talking about when i first decided to get the band. In fact, before i even told friends and family, i went to all the seminars and had had most of my exams and tests. The most important person in your life is supportive (the hubby) and that's all that matters. Our friends and family love us as we are, but you know what? They don't walk in our shoes. They may not even really understand all the chronic health problems associated with being MORBIDLY obese. (god, i hate that freaking word)

Since i had the surgery on 1/10/08 most of my friends and family are super happy for me. I have one friend who is still unsupportive--in fact, i haven't seen her since New Year's. ::shrugs:: I understand that she has her own weight issues to deal with, and is probably a little jealous. I just leave the door open for her, and let her know i care about what's going on in her life. You have to do what's right for you, and i dare say that the people who are TRULY your friends and who's love for you is unconditional will be around post-op!

I wish you all the luck and health!

Angela

p.s.- i'm about 33lbs down in 2.5months....the more i lose and the better i feel, the more i know in my heart that i made the right decision for my health and wellbeing.

[bwohlgemuth 2]

Nicole, you need to do this for yourself. I bet the family is scared of the horror stories of bariatric surgery, like it was 15 years ago.

As long as you follow your surgeons advice, do everything you can to lose weight before the surgery, and get moving NOW; your life will be immensely better for it.

Good Luck!

Brian

[Carrie_C 9]

Hi, I can understand how you feel. I think you are brave for even telling anyone you were going for the consult. I am waiting on insurance approval, and no one even knows I am trying to have it done except my husband. Even when if it gets approved, I don't know that I will tell anyone else about it except my mother. I just don't want to deal with everyone else's feelings about it, I have enough trouble with my own feelings. I am 5'7 and weigh 255, and like you, no one believes I weigh as much as I do. I can hide it well too. I say you should go ahead and do it for you. Don't worry about everyone else, you are the one who has to live with yourself. That's how I try to look at it.

[nathenag 0]

You all are so wonderful. I did go to the consult and had the psych eval, both went great, waiting for ins approval now. I decided to ask those in my life that don't understand/support my decision to come to a support group and if they don't want to I'll be cool but tell them that I'm not going to listen to anything they say about it b/c they refuse to educate themselves. I've really backed off discussing it much with those people. DH is happy for me and that is all that really matters to me. He's the best thing that ever happened to me so if he's behind it then I can trust my own choice.

[TPB1960 0]

I have the same issue but only with my children, ages 22,19,9, they are scared of the surgery. I want to be around for them and involved in thier lives. Right now I suffer from chronic pain and spend most of my time in bed. I've gained over 100 lbs. since I injured my back 6 years ago. I tried exercise but the pain is too much to bear. My wife, thank God, is supporting me.

[healthysue 0]

Congratulations, I have my first appointment with the doctor i chose on May 2nd.

[jennifer_n 0]

Goodluck do what makes you happy and not everyone else

[suzle 0]

Hi..You are pretty young and with 2 babies maybe you deserve a bit more weight for a while. The decision is yours and yours alone...Make it for yourself. You won't be eating like everybody else anymore after it...Maybe you can loose the weight and make the changes without it.

Just don't be like me and struggle year after year if your non band efforts don't stick...Were you always obese or just since the babies? If not your chances of success without the band are a bit better...

I am 50 and was just about your size at your age...now I am at 250 ...wish Id had this option earlier...I hope to get surgery within a few month and feel really happy about it...Take care, love yourself and enjoy those babies...!

[Brandy~ 2]

You made it this far so you obviously were serious about considering it or even having the LB done. I say go for it you have NOTHING to lose and everything to gain and this time it won't be pounds you're gaining.

Even if you're happy in your marriage the weight loss with bring better health and more confidence which will help to make your life so much better. You will be able to be around longer for your kids and be much more active in their lives. Don't let anyones negativity even if they think they know whats best for you to get in the way of you, your life, or your childrens future.

Love, live, be happy

[nathenag 0]

i had weight problems before the kid but I kept it under control with exercise 5 times a week, but we all know kids kill your old schedule of doing things. I gained 45lb with my 1st, a boy and delievered by c-section then got preg. with #2 (a girl) when my son was 15 months old and gain another 32 with her and had another c-section. Then I had my gall bladder out in 2006. My body is pretty trashed from the pregnacies. (son was 8lb 9oz 3weeks early, daughter 8lb 1/2 oz 2weeks early) then I had depression issues and meds that added to the weight struggle.

[suzle 0]

that sounds a lot like my history...Never got better either...I wish I had had the surgical option earlier...I would have had a better life...I've wasted so much time with the struggle..( My baby, who is now 27 was 1lb 10 oz...can we say c- section...after that I could never get right..or concieve again...and the depression came on strong...) Go for it is my vote...love...let the lap band help you claim your life and right to health...