Food log challenge, anyone?

[salsa1877 10]

I was a faithful logger yesterday and already started today. From eating the proper amount of calories I have already lost 1.2 pounds since Friday. Hopefully now I will see some steady weight loss. I am excited!!!:cursing::biggrin:

Nice job:thumbup:! So I don't know how this logging thing works for me because I already have my menu planned. I tried really hard to get to 1500 calories and it didn't happen. I think I got to just over 1300 calories. I guess that is a start.:tt1: Part of it is this mental block that I have that I don't want to go over 1000 calories because that is where I was comfortable and what I have known for the last several months. I don't like change:sneaky:. Well happy logging for the day. Pizzi WHERE ARE YOU????

[pizzicato66 1]

I'm here! I just haven't commented in a couple days.

I went in and updated logs for the weekend this morning the best I could remember (Calorie King was acting up this weekend when I tried to log from home).

Learning for the week - it's the fat and carbs slipping in that are pushing my calories up - hence, I'm hovering at 208 again this morning. I need that log floating in front of my face when I make food choices, darnit! Most of the day I do just fine, and then I'll make ONE bad food choice that blows the calories over the top so I'm between 1500 and 1900 cals a day.

Apparently I've got the maintenance diet figured out since I'm sitting at the same darned spot again this week. Problem is, I'm not in maintenance yet!!

Salsa, maybe you and I should swap eating plans. I recommend Peanut Butter (just kidding).

At least I got good walks in both days this weekend at the dog park!

[salsa1877 10]

I'm here! I just haven't commented in a couple days.

I went in and updated logs for the weekend this morning the best I could remember (Calorie King was acting up this weekend when I tried to log from home).

Learning for the week - it's the fat and carbs slipping in that are pushing my calories up - hence, I'm hovering at 208 again this morning. I need that log floating in front of my face when I make food choices, darnit! Most of the day I do just fine, and then I'll make ONE bad food choice that blows the calories over the top so I'm between 1500 and 1900 cals a day.

Apparently I've got the maintenance diet figured out since I'm sitting at the same darned spot again this week. Problem is, I'm not in maintenance yet!!

Salsa, maybe you and I should swap eating plans. I recommend Peanut Butter (just kidding).

At least I got good walks in both days this weekend at the dog park!

Actually Peanut Butter was one of those things that my nut. suggested I add back into my diet...one problem...I don't like it any more. I don't mind it if it is in things like my Protein bar, but to just have it on some apples or crackers...just don't have the same appeal! So I was bad today (though good for most bandsters:biggrin2:) i was supposed to have salad dressing with my lunch today, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I have avoided it like the plague unless I am at a restaurant and can't put salsa on my salad. So much for getting my fat in for the day. Perhaps I will just have a little extra cheese at dinner tonight:tongue2:!

I would love to swap you diets! I tried soooooooo hard to get to 1500 calories and couldn't do it. I planned out my menu this weekend and last night I calculated the calories that I would consume if I ate the food today and I got to just above 1300. I guess as I become less afraid of food it will come to me. Not to mention that I am really tight today and almost pb'd on my pears during second period. That would have given the kiddos a scare:scared2:.

Okay new batch of students in 4 minutes. Probably should get ready!

[pizzicato66 1]

Talk about taking the good eating habits to heart - look at you! I need to get back to fearing food more. I did better when I was afraid things would make me sick, but almost everything goes right down for me if I pace myself, and I've gotten to the point that I'll eat till uncomfortable. Not healthy, and I need to get my brain back in the right place. Just not sure what will do it for me.

Good for you though!

[pizzicato66 1]

Okay, I'm logged for yesterday and came out lower than I thought I would, right around 1200 calories. I'm striving for better today (ideally want to get back to around 900-1000 calories to kick things back into gear).

So far, just had a SF instant breakfast/milk and my usual skinny latte, so we'll see if I can make it all day on plan. My goal is to get back to the basic eating plan from the clinic, since it worked so well for me: 3 meals of 3-4 oz. dense Protein with some veg, 3 milk Snacks a day. It will give me a better idea of whether I need a fill or not too (hard to tell if I'm just eating whatever sounds good regardless of portion or nutrition). As of this morning, my bum is firmly planted in the "wagon"!!

How's everyone else doing? Maintenance girls, are you doing your selected plan?

[LadyBugRed 2]

I logged yesterday Pizzi and found that I too was taking in too many carbs. I tried to find the low carb slim fast like Becky uses but can't find it. I ordered it online. I did buy the high Protein slim fast though. I really need the calories. Started logging already today. Did good with Water yesterday too.

[salsa1877 10]

I did follow my plan yesterday. I got to 1300 calories but I am still really tight. I had a hard time getting my Breakfast down this morning. I would love to get a bit more of an unfill but I just don't have the time. I am almost out of sick days so I don't have the option of going for an unfill until June! I guess I will just live with the stuck feeling for the next three months.:puke:

[pizzicato66 1]

Jodi, did you try SF carnation Instant Breakfast? It's a nice option and fills you up pretty well for breakfasts without adding any sugar.

Karri, hang in there- hopefully your band will relax a tad more over time (mine usually does but it takes a few weeks after an adjustment).

Had a VERRRY tasty roast pork dinner from the cafeteria today with a teeny bit of grilled squash and nice sauce. Happy tummy and on-plan! :-)

[salsa1877 10]

I logged yesterday Pizzi and found that I too was taking in too many carbs. I tried to find the low carb slim fast like Becky uses but can't find it. I ordered it online. I did buy the high Protein slim fast though. I really need the calories. Started logging already today. Did good with Water yesterday too.

I buy the low carb slim fast at wal-mart. They are not bad as long as they are REALLY cold.

[LadyBugRed 2]

I posted faithfully today. I checked our Walmart for it and they didn't carry it. I also couldn't find the Instant Breakfast. I think everyone buys it all out before I get there!!

[pizzicato66 1]

I logged like a good girl. Resisting the carbey/sugary stuff is still a problem for me, but I logged what I ate to make sure I saw the result, and I came in at just under 1500 calories again. I guess I'll do fine once I get to maintenance phase, but I need to get there first!

I'm starting to think I can't hang out at my sister's house or I need to come up with a gameplan when I go there. dinner was exactly what I should eat (steak with a small serving of veggies), but I dug in before dinner on some tortilla chips (1 oz), and my sister made herself gluten-free brownies and I had TWO (d*mmit).

It's all starting to feel rather codependent. Here's the thing that hit it home for me. We were going down to the basement TV room to watch a movie, and I'm walking behind her, watching her struggle one step at a time and trying to move a box down the steps behind her, because she needed one hand for her brownie and the other hand to alternate between the handrail and moving the box. I helped out by taking the box for her, but I had to watch her struggle down the stairs one step at a time, and then listen to her try and catch her breath for several minutes.

It reminded me that this is one of the biggest reasons I chose surgery in the first place. I could see myself going down the same path as my elder sister, and I didn't want to be in so much pain and immobilized by my weight as she is. It was a real eye opener.

Here's the thing that really makes me feel like it's an f'ed up situation. I still ate the brownie, enjoyed it, and when she made a trip up later and came back with another brownie she thought was small (it was almost 4 inches square), I ate that one too.

So, I'm throwing it out to you all for advice. How do I get my inspiration back and get my eating back on plan? How do I deal with being around my sister and not slip into the codependency? Are any of you running into this?

I feel like I know what I have to do, but I need help getting the mind-shift in place so I can be firm about it.

Help!

[JudiM 1]

Not an impossible situation but definitely a tough one. We've all developed and perfected the "codependency skills", eating habits and certain lifestyles over a period of many years!!!! :wink_smile: So, they are not going to go away quietly---so to speak. I've found myself in similiar situations so many times. Certain people and triggers do it to me. No matter how much I know it and see it and understand it.....I find myself crippled by the "learned behavior" that is as much a part of me as my left arm!!! And, even when we are confronted with evidence, ....such as you seeing your sister's struggle to do simple tasks due to her weight....we fall into old behaviors. Clearly, your sister is close to you....a part of your life forever and as far back as you can remember. So, you compartmentalize when it comes to her. Same as the rest of us.....we separate the behavior from the person in many instances....especially with family. We may learn and grow from it but many times we are held hostage by it. Geez.....I make it sound so hopeless...don't I? Well, have no fear.....I'm just giving you my $1 analysis of WHY we do what we do!!! Now...for the optimism...... ! First of all....you really didn't do so bad with your eating in that situation. What's done is done....and it wasn't so bad. And, you exercised. Right? Well, there you go! A whole new way of behaving that you probably never did before. Think back......did you exercise? And, if you did....did you increase it when you knew you may have taken in a few extra calories? Therein lies a bonus behavior! In each aspect of my life--personal and professional---I subscribe to the belief that once you've made a mistake, it's history. You can't fix it. So, no bother wasting the time trying. What the most important thing is what you do AFTER that mistake. My children, my staff, my family and my friends are probably soooo tired of hearing me say that. But, I found out the hard way.....like MOST pieces of wisdom. So many times I made mistakes that I then spent hours or days or even years trying to run away from or undo. And, it got me nowhere. If, at the time of the mistake, I would have acknowledged it and then moved on from there in a positive and healing way....it would have been behind me much, much sooner. But, I didn't. It's really the same way with food. All those years of eating and eating and saying "well, I am already overweight...what's the use?" and then move on to the next eating fest! Did I ever stop and really acknowledge that it was my attitude my way of handling just one moment that got me into the mess? No, I just said.....I was bad so I will continue to be bad. So, anyway....that's my long way of saying.....don't beat yourself up. Learn new behaviors and try them out.....whether it's exercising or channeling your sister's attentions elsewhere...not to food. Maybe spending time with her that you purposefully make food-free. And, perhaps doing her a favor in the long run. Or, maybe inviting her to walk around the block with you.....now there's a thought!!!!

Good luck!!! I'm off my soapbox now!!!! LOL!!!!

[salsa1877 10]

Pizzi- Are you ready for some tough love? If you are not ready at this time, that if fine. Put it away in your mind that someone has given you some and come back here when you are ready. By the time I get to post this you will probably have 100 other replies, but I want to take my time and post what I really want to say.

Okay...here goes the tough love. And this will be a long post!

Nope the brownies were not a good choice, but you ate them and now you need to move on and NOT do it again. You can't change what you have done but you can make better choices in the future. So the question is HOW IN THE WORLD DO I DO THAT? Well I will tell you that the answer is NOT going to come to you when you have a "brownie" (will now stand for anything that is not healthy for us for the remainder of this conversation) staring at you in the face. You have to have the tools and the mindset BEFORE that temptation ever comes up. We have to be ready to turn around at any particular moment and have a piece of brownie shoved in our face and realize that we are stronger than the calories, fat, sugar and peice of inanimate object that we are looking at. It gets harder as we have lost the weight and become a little more comfortable with our bodies. At first we were hell bent on getting losing, losing, losing. Well the newness has worn off and now we are just stuck with the realization that we will always have to fight the "brownies".

Alright I am all about being practical so here are some suggestions that I have.

1. Take a piece of paper (one that you can fold up into your wallet/purse/pocket ) and divide it into sections. You may have to write down everything and then rewrite it to get it to all fit.

a. Write down all the reasons that you had MAJOR, LIFE THREATENING SURGERY. Not the reasons that you wanted to just lose weight, but what caused you to make this drastic change in your life.

b. Write down where you think you would be health wise in 10 years. What disesases, illness would you have? What meds would you be on. Look at your family for "inspiration". For me my mom died at 53 weighing 350+ pounds and had heart disease, diabetes, sleep apnea and a whole host of other disorders. Within 10 years, I was going to be there.

c. Write down why you are more powerful than a brownie (this one is tough!)

d. Find some typical foods that you would love to eat (your brownies) and look up the calories and then find out how much time you would have to spend working them off in the gym.

e. Write down what about you makes you important enough to overcome your demons.

f. Now you are going to want to fit all of this on a piece of paper in bullet form so when you are faced with you brownies you can look at it and allow you to mentally fight the war that has just come up. If you can justify eating that brownie after looking at your paper, then eat it, but have no regrets, and do not dwell on it. Instead you have faced the problem UP FRONT and not looked back on it.

2. Another possible tactic. I know that you are having a tough time getting your calories down. One thing that I have found that helps me is by eating the same foods that I like but with some simple substitutions and by finding ways to remove some unneccessary ingredients. For example. I make this dessert that had 1/2 cup of frozen berries, 2 TBSP of Cream cheese and 1/2 cup of granola. The cream cheese had 60 calories and I thought..."I wonder how this would taste if I didn't put the cream cheese in it". I tried it and guess what, I couldn't even tell that it was missing. Same thing with meatloaf. Instead of eating it with ground beef now I substitute grond chicken. As long as I keep all of my veggies and other healthy fillers in, I can't tell the difference. I really learned this from Subway. I found that if I went in and ordered a foot long sandwich (obviously pre-band) and got all this deli meat and cheese and then pilled it with my favorite veggies that I all I could really taste were the veggies anyways. So first I got rid of the meat and then the cheese, and the taste of the sandwich hardly varied at all. This is what I do all the time now. I will always fix something first and then think what can I do to lower or eliminate the calories without harming the integretity of the dish.

3. This is the one that everyone is going to hate. WE JUST HAVE TO HAVE WILL POWER SOMETIMES. Yep the age ol' dieting nightmare. Our will power will not always be perfect, but we have to be able to stand up to ourselves and tell ourselves no. Before this surgery I couldn't tell anyone NO, including myself. So when my stupid head told me that I needed to go to Carl's Jr and get 2 big hamburgers and eat them in the 4 minutes it took me to get home so that I could look famished for dinner that was going to be served in 30 minutes...I never said no. NOW, I am comfortable saying no. It has helped me professionally, personally, and mentally. I thought that everyone would hate me if I said no, but now they no longer just expect things out of me. And I don't just give in to all of my brain's wishes. That is making me a better person.

4. Talk about your surgery. I have to honestly say that one of the greatest factors to my success is the fact that I have been open and honest about the surgery. I don't care what other people think about me. Go to 1A of this email and that should show you why there is nothing to be ashamed of. The more you talk about the struggles and successes of your surgery the less likely people are to shove food at you. We have one lady in our science department that brings in treats every week. After the 2nd week of school I told her about my surgery and not ONCE has she come in and offered me the food. She told me, if you ever want it, you may have some, but I don't want to push something on you that you obviously don't want. Yesterday at the staff meeting, the administration gave little food baskets to everyone for all there hard work during scheduling. However instead of a food basket I got a nice card signed by all the administrators, because the know that a food basket is pointless to me. I don't feel singled out, I feel very blessed that these people care enough about me to know what I need. Some people can't make these connections on their own and they need you to school them. You need to POINT BLANK tell your sister, I love to visit you but for me, I CAN'T have this food here. Tell her that she really is putting a barrier between the two of you if she constantly is serving you this food. Iknow this is tough, but I had to do it with my dad, my BF, and my brother. I asked them if they would offer a beer to a recovering alcholoic. All of them said no, and then I said then why in the hell would you offer me a cookie!

Codependency is a huge thing. I HATED my mother and still am very resentful towards here for the ENORMOUS amount of physical and mental abuse she inflicted on my brother and I. However when I was growing up, I couldn't live without it. Yes I know part of that was because she was my mom, but I would let others do the same thing to me, because I was so codependent.

Wow I knew this would be long, but I had no idea how long. If there is any advice in here you don't like. Think about why you don't like it. Is it because it is hard...well guess what CHANGING is hard, but maybe just try part of it. If you don't like it because it goes against all of your moral beliefs, then ignore it. I will never know and it will not hurt my feelings. Even if you came back and said "Salsa you are full of crap and are an idiot" I would think " her loss!" and keep on lovin' ya. This is what friends are for. We have to be here during the good times and the bad. We have to be able to look (or type) at the other person and say "stop being an idiot" If we don't do that as friends, really we are no better than an enemy.

Good luck.

[pizzicato66 1]

Thanks for the feedback! I can't say I exercised last night to burn it off, but as you said, it's in the past and stressing won't help.

What I may need to do is plan things with her that aren't at her house, so we just get together and do something, rather than eat. It will get easier soon, once her pool is open for the summer. Or, I need to just need to not eat at her house once I'm there. The real irony of my relationship with her is that we have an opposite effect on each other. When she lived with me last year, she lost 60 lbs and I GAINED 30 lbs! I figured out that it was because 1 - I cooked meals so she was eating less processed and carry-out, and 2. she eat less and moved more around me. Meanwhile, I actually ate more and was less active when I was with her (I was slowing down to her pace).

I have to say part of the reason I'm considering the big move to CA is that I want to feel less responsible for her (I'm her primary source for social interaction at this point, since my brother doesn't do as much with her). Sounds selfish, but I think it's actually healthier for me, at least for now. I also just want a fresh start in a new place with a new way of living. I know I'm not leaving my "issues" behind if I go, but I think it would be easier for me right now.

BTW, thanks for letting me spill my guts out here today. Did I scare ya? :-)

[pizzicato66 1]

Karri, you are completely right! I am not in the least offended and agree completely.

I like the written exercise idea and I'm going to do that homework! I do that kind of thing to tackle other stuff in my life (and it's the kind of thing I do for a living), so that's right up my alley.

Thanks!!!