On edge/ arguing w/ spouse....

[newhope4me 0]

:tt2: I had my procedure on 3/7/08 and i have been a real bitch since. i've lost some weight of course and feel good and motivated by that, but also feel tense. poor hubby is the one getting the brunt of this. i really cant find a reason, just feel like i am being a royal bitch.

yesterday we had an argument because he moved one of my frogs (i collect frogs, and yes i am a bit anal, but this was a new one and hadnt really been put in a particular place yet). he cleaned off his desk and moved one of my frogs to a already crowded shelf, i saw it and put it back on his desk and then we got into it.

like i said, yes i am a bit anal about where things go, but this wasnt even about that. i just felt it was about control. i just feel like everything pisses me off (hope this language is ok in here) and i feel like arguing. i mean i dont want to, but just feel TENSE!

i did talk with him about some of the posts i have read that sometimes we go thru like depression because we are used to emotional eating and now we cant, and i thought that may be some of it. depression i know, this edginess:angry:, i just dont know, i guess it makes me feel uncomfortable. im one that avoids confrontation.

i dont even know what my question is, really, maybe has anyone else gone/going thru this?

[mstrina27 0]

awww I hope you feel better... sometimes we just have tho's days.....

[Kat817 19]

What you are experiencing is quite normal! There are several causes! Like you mentioned you wanted the control! You used to control what you ate, not any more.... You used to control what and how you cooked, not any more! It goes on like that!

You are pretty early on, so while you are experiencing success---you likely still have some worries that it won't work for you---or wonder how long it will work, or how long it will take. What your life is going to be like....there are lots of questions, and not lots of answers presenting themselves yet!

Another issue that was mentioned during my seminar, and is seldome brought up---is hormonal. Each of the hormones in our body goes through highs and lows. When one surges, all the others in our bodies have to adjust to try to balance. 2 of the hormones directly affected are the one excreted in the stomach---he called it Gruehlin (he said it---he did not write it, so I have no idea if the spelling is even close!)---it is the hormone that signals fullness. So before banding, it took a lot of food to hit the nerves that signalled the release of this hormone. Well now it is being released on a much more frequent time line, and in a different manner than normal, so all the other hormones are working to react with it, and balance.

I am afraid I am making a mess of explaining this, and the surgeon told it in a manner that made such perfect sense! Sorry!!!

Another hormone directly involved in weight loss---is estrogen! Estrogen is stored in fat cells. So as you lose fat the estrogen is dumped into your system. Once again making everything else work overtime trying to balance. With it being estrogen---it causes symptoms like PMS. Emotions are all over the place, cravings increase, headaches are common. Some people have very sensitive systems to estrogen. I do. I used to get Migraine headaches once a month minimally due to fluctating estrogen levels---I could never do birth control pills because of the estrogen. When I had my hysterectomy 5 years ago, I quit having any type of problem. Until my banding, and suddenly I had several Migraines. They went away as my body learned to deal with the changes it was experiencing.

Same thing will happen with you I predict!!!

#1--you will see that you do still have control of your eating, in fact you have more control than when you shoved everything handy in your mouth!!! Sounds strange---but when you CHOOSE what you eat it feels like a victory! You WILL be in control! I bet when the fears and questions pass----this will be a form of control you will love.....controlling your own destiny!

#2 the hormones will settle down, it just takes a little while! It is very common. Depression is not uncommon, anger, quick temper, tears----you are not the first, and will not be the last! Soon you will be here assuring those entering bandland behind you, that it will get better!!!

Now....better go find that new frog a home!!!

Hang on----it's gonna get better!!!

Kat

[wombat712 2]

Newhope - you are not alone :thumbup: {{hugs}}

I went through a particularly witchy stage myself. I took offense at everything!!!! As a "fat" person we are usually giving in to other peoples wishes, wants, putting everyone ahead of ourselves etc.

All of a sudden, these things become unacceptable - I no longer wanted to tolerate certain treatment. Does that make sense?

We get to reinvent ourselves or actually reacquaint ourselves with "who" we are!!! It's a beautiful (if not slightly witchy) process that takes some time. You will get through it and your DH will be soon fawning all over you with your success!

[newhope4me 0]

Thanks so much to all who responded. feels good to know i'm not alone. feeling better today, maybe since i'm on to full liquid phase, lol.

thanx again! i'm sure hubby appreciates me finding support so that i am not quite as bad.

[rharriet62 0]

i just dont know, i guess it makes me feel uncomfortable. im one that avoids confrontation.

Hmmm. I think this is the change that you are experiencing! Did you used to eat so you could stuff your feelings and not confront things that bothered you? Of course, it's amplified right now because it's new! My guess is that everything is all shaken up (it happens to us all) and before it settles in a new place in your head, it's going to be bigger right now. Many people find that once they have help with food issues, other things no longer are OK for them. This is a big adjustment period, but you will find that other things in your life don't stay the same when you get your food under control!!! Explain this to your hubby so he knows! In other words, Leave my damn frogs where they are! HAHAHA. Just kidding.

[newhope4me 0]

yes, i would eat to stuff feelings, among other reasons. i've been talking with him about the different feelings i've been going through. he should understand an addiction, he is addicted to that damn game world of warcraft. (oops, did i say that aloud; he claims he's not addicted)

its been a bit easier so far this week. according to my hormone-cast, its not the best time of the month for me anyway, lol.

even though it seems to be getting easier, i look forward to giving the advice. lol

[drstan1 0]

one of you has to shut the f up FROGS?? PICK ANOTHER TOPIC!!!

up

[Manatee 4]

one of you has to shut the f up FROGS?? PICK ANOTHER TOPIC!!!

Are you -still- ticked off about not making it into a real medical school?

Time to up your meds.

[Sue Magoo 71]

Hi:

Not having food to comfort us through our mood swings can be a bitch! Alot of exercise can help deal with stress in your life. If that doesn't work, I think they make medication to help with the emotional issues. A buddy of mine that I walk with takes something to help her deal, but I don't know what it is called. She said it just takes the edge off of for her.

Best wishes to a less bitchy you, will make for a happier household.

Take care.

Sue

[Kat817 19]

The OP has not even been to this thread in half a year, yet she posts to other threads, so I take that to mean she has settled into being banded, and the mood swings have mellowed.

Or it could just mean that DH and whoever else in the household just learned to keep the mitts off the frogs!! LOL

The resurrection of threads to simply post something smart aleck or negative seems to be a new trend lately.....easiest to just ignore it!!!

But in an overall Sue, I totally agree! Get the endorphins kicked in!!!

Kat

[HeatherO 7]

I have gone through this as well, best thing is that it gets better. You should definitely talk with your husband and make sure who knows you are feeling a little on edge and you should also work on it yourself as well. I realized that I was being too hard on my husband and child, which wasn't fair to them, and worked to chill out by taking a little time and space when necessary.

[drstan1 0]

Real med school maybe Ill remove a real tumor some day and you can argue about frogs or even snakes or ,lizards good grief!!!

[plain 12]

Real med school maybe Ill remove a real tumor some day and you can argue about frogs or even snakes or ,lizards good grief!!!

So much to say....so little time.....my brain hurts.

[JamieNP 20]

Who let Drstan out of the box? Get back in there...BAD BAD BOY!!