How has the Lap Band impacted your marriage or relationships?

[sphynxmomma 0]

Stories please!!!! I'm not banded yet but I was just wondering.

Thanks

Heather

[Ceradad 10]

I'll go with my work relationships. As some know, I am a police officer. You want to talk about some of the most un-PC people around, you can't beat police officers. I used to have to deal with all the jokes about being big and eating. I especially hated potlucks in the dept. Always the obligatory "better get your food quick 'cus J is coming". Or, one of my Lt's always would ask "are you eating again?" if he saw me eating an egg @ Breakfast. (Funny thing is, same Lt always eats at least 2 donuts each and every day and is no little man himself)

Always got the jokes about my uniforms and how many rayons did they have to kill to make one for me. Or how many cows had to die for my leather jacket (please no PETA comments here, I respect your views, I just like to stay warm).

If I didn't just laugh it off and keep up the "jolly big guy" mode, it just egged them on.

However, since my time off from the surgery, it disappeared. Almost so quickly that I didn't realize it had happened. I now longer here the comments about the amount of food I eat or about my clothing. Unless it is to comment about how big my uni's and civilian clothes are getting or about how little I eat (not that I ever ate that much anyway, most of you know how that is:frown:). Or about how good I seem to be doing with the weightloss.

Don't get me wrong, I love these guys to death, for the most part, and would back them to the hilt. I work with some of my best friends, but it got old.

So, just from that standpoint, the lapband has been a positive. Also, I have sort of become a person that other overweight people know they can talk to about their struggles and ask any questions they may have. I will never tell someone they need this surgery. But, if asked, I will answer any and all questions and volunteer to go to any seminars if they want me to.

[KimFrmSealy 0]

Let me just say that it has been a WONDERFUL impact on my marriage. Before I was an 18/20 and not happy with myself at all. Since the surgery I have lost 80 Lbs and down to a size 8! My husband is much more attentive and we are so much happier now. Mostly because I am happier. He said he always loved me no matter what my weight but when I wasnt happy with myself it showed in our relationship. I would do this again in a heartbeat. Not only am I healthier, happier etc.. but I feel like I can take on anything and not have to hide because of my weight.

KimFrmSealy

Dr. Spivak

1/26/07 - Banded

236/165/156

start/goal/current

[TracyinKS 7]

J: I had to say.. I was really touched by your post...... wow.. what an NSV for you.

As for me.......... I am happier and because of that those I love are happier....

DH loved me no matter the size but he does love my butt and the way they look in my size 12 levis..... no I'm not small... but I do look good, and more importantly I FEEL good....

The sense of control I feel is priceless and that too has a way to shine through your soul......... I look nicer in my clothes and I walk with my head held high instead of deflated and pissed off at myself at what I had become.........

I kind of worry that I'm getting to a complacent stage in my weight loss... (onederland) but thank goodness the band is here to remind me that I still can't eat that half a pizza! LOL

I will not lie....... it was hard for DH to get used to me eating so little.... early in our journey.... I would get really p.o.'d because he DARED be offended that I only ate a cup of Soup, or when I took issue with paying full buffet price for so little food..... (yikes the arguments)

Heck it was even hard for the boys to see me only eat 1 plate of food... they would be "THATS ALL????" I too would mourn the loss of quantity.. now I just think its sad...... I have grown.... now when at a buffet I look around for the skinny people and notice that they are NOT gorging themselves...... they are eating smaller portions and nobody is even paying attention........ so in that I am now the normal one...... THANK YOU TO MY BAND!

DH is now used to me eating 1 taco or 1 bowl of chicken tortilla Soup while he puts away an entire order of fajitas, a basket of chips and more than not....... desert later that night...... my meals are alacarte and cheaper.... he now notices those rare times when I am loser and can seemingly eat more than normal............. He jokes that he knows more about my bodily functions that he ever cared too... LOL but all in all we have grown as a couple, and he is not threatened that I will leave him behind.

[Daisalana 33]

Hm.. mine hasn't changed at all.. I just notice how much he eats now.. in disbelief.

[Ceradad 10]

Thanks Tracy. It's been a pretty remarkable change for me at work. Btw, w/o asking that Lt, I found out just a little while ago that I am only about 8 lbs heavier than him now.:smile: Couldn't believe it. He came up to me and said I was going to be lighter than him soon. I told him I didn't believe that for a minute. He then told me he weighs 269. Not gloating, just thought I would throw that out after my initial post.

I chose not to mention my marriage because little has changed. DW is proud of the weight loss I've accomplished and that I did this for her and DD. But, like Tracy, she loved me anyway.:biggrin:

Edit: I meant DW loved me anyway, not Tracy. I'm sure she likes me, just doesn't love me. :-)

[luluc 6]

The lapband is just one more thing that drew my husband and I closer. We were 125lb/189lb respectively when we got married - Had some difficult family issues, which caused us to turn to food/drink. I knew I could make a big bowl of Pasta & open a great bottle of wine, and it would "temporarily" put aside the problems of the day.

We were banded right next to each other the same day. I went in an hr before him (I'm always first..LOL), and it's been a HUGE blessing to walk this path with him. He's my best friend - I could not imagine not having him understand this with me .. to bitch and whine when the scale does not move, to being as excited as me when I can fit into a smaller pair of jeans. And vice versa ... he's at a "stall" in his weight but dropping inches, I made him try on an old pair of dress pants the other day , and he was so excited they fit...Me probably more for him:tongue2:. It's all been positive!!! Our surgeon urges us not to "compete"...but we're ULTRA competitive, and everytime we walk into their office, the staff is like "who's ahead"???....cute:)

Good Luck~~~

[juliegeraci 7]

Hi Heather, my life has changed a lot. I am very happily married. My husband is very supportive. More supportive then I could even imagine. He wants me to be happy and also supports me with my plastic surgery indeavors. Our sex life is much better given the fact that I have lost 105 lbs. I am more self confident, enjoy buying clothes etc. I know it will change again once I get my plastic surgery. I am sure it will only make me feel that much better and enhance our lives as well. I am also very successful with my career which is not new. I enjoy seeing all my friends at work and updating them on my progress. Every time I see a team member they always comment on my weight loss which feels very good. I have only positive things to say about my weight loss and the relationships they have affected. Julie

[Kalipso2 25]

i am single and not in a relationship, nor am i banded... yet!

before i gained so much weight, i was happy being single and dating a lot but the past few years i've gained so much weight that i stopped dating all together because the thought of someone touching me and seeing me naked horrifies me.

i vowed on January 1, 2008 that this year is going to be dedicated to ME. everything i do this entire year will have to do with learning how to make myself happy.

it started with me and my mom working thru some of our past problems. i hadn't spoken to her in over a year but since january we're trying to patch things up.

in february i started researching doctors and finally decided on one and go in for ALL of my testing on Wednesday. (all the testing is being done on the same day because i have a 4 hour drive each way) hopefully in april i'll be banded and may - december will be weight loss victories.

hopefully by january 2009 i will have some self confidence back and then all the single men had better watch out!!