married life

[andreerichards1 4]

Does anyone else ever think life would be better if you were single?

Lately that's all i have been thinking about, I wish i was alone no one to report too, Im so sick and tired of fighting. :angry_smile:

Is it so bad to want to save for something? i want to save for my Tummy Tuck we had two cars there was nothing wrong with them, well he wanted a new car so there 500$ a month (oh i don't like payments) i want to pay off the house in 4 years he promess me we would well not one extra payment on the house yet:angry_smile:. Then he trows back in my face my $20000 surgery.

I dont even want a credit card but no we have two now I want to save money is that selfish? I want to have a better life.

I dont even want to go on holidays because it cost money

Our priority are so different i dont know why we are together really.

and to make it harder he move here from Australia, If i ever get divorce im switching teams.

sorry for caring on im just piss off and crying

[pd1007 0]

No you are not alone, my husband and I have different views on how to spend our money. He is a real mans man. He loves his Jeep and his waverunner, and his snowblower and generator. But when it comes to something that I might want, he usually says well honey I was saving up for something for the jeep maybe next time, after all you did get your surgery...But together we have a beautiful baby girl who is almost 2 and I just think about her and then I remember that I do love my husband (even if he does get on my last nerve) and our daughter and am very lucky to have them both. But there are times I wish I could take an unexpected trip to Las Vegas with the girls and not have anyone to answer to. Ha Ha Ha...

[Daisalana 33]

You're not alone.. he tries to fight about money, but I won't let him. I am pretty stubborn... I like to spend money.. I love to shop, I love frivelous things, trinkets, nice car, nice house, new decor for the house, vacations, gambling, etc. He doesn't 'want' for anything apparently, he never wants to spend money for.. ANYTHING.

That being said, we have 401k accounts, savings accounts, and I am the budget-er. I handle all of our finances. I've never spent money we couldn't afford to spend. I put money into all of our savings accounts with every paycheck. Even if we have an emergency and needed money (say, for a lap-band revision), we can handle it.

With that bit of background, when I buy new shoes, or plan a casino trip.. he bitches and moans and talks about how I buy too much, or how we don't have the money.. and before I let it bring me down, I say.. I earned it, I'm doing what I want with it, we have money! He has finally learned, he rarely comments now. Yesterday he made a comment about me buying a new purse.. I just said "it's so pretty!" hehe.

If you're contributing to the finances, put your foot down and say YOU want to save for X. It's compromise.

Although, you offering to switch teams makes me think maybe the problem is deeper than finances :angry_smile:

[andreerichards1 4]

Although, you offering to switch teams makes me think maybe the problem is deeper than finances :angry_smile:

well man are hard to put up with i cant become a nun now to late for me.

[Daisalana 33]

I agree, I wish I could get over the sex factor of being a lesbian! Life would have been a million times easier hah hah.

[libra 13]

I agree, I wish I could get over the sex factor of being a lesbian! Life would have been a million times easier hah hah.

I've said that before! LMAO!:angry_smile:

[MacMadame 81]

It's really hard when a couple doesn't agree about money. Sometimes counseling can help that because the counselor is a neutral person who can see both sides.

[luluc 6]

I learned early on (for me at least) that only 1 should be in charge of the finances. 2 with opposing spending/saving habits need to find the one who "likes" to manage the finances & can do a good job of it.

I'm the spender - Don't look at prices, if I want something - I WANT it. Hubby likes his "gadgets" too ... But not like how I would spend, really not thinking about it. When I decided to quit work a few yrs ago, and start something new...DH had to pull the reigns in on me and work out a budget plan. We have 3 accounts - His / Mine / Ours.. Each month I get a deposit,

I guess you could call it an allowance (may sound old fashion) into my account - to do as I see fit ... could be food shopping / lunch w/the girls / whatever. Ours - pays the bills. His - well he buys more gadgets I guess..LOL I felt weird after not working and earning a "payroll check" - so this seemed to to be a good solution for us.

Hubby manages the stocks/401k/ira stuff - cause I really don't want to. I'm bad that way - I should be more involved I guess w/the finances , but deep down I hate dealing w/that stuff - and he likes it...

Maybe you and DH can work out an arrangement that you take a portion, and save towards PS?? Go to him w/a plan?...I'm married to a planner, if I go to him with a realistic idea & how to get there he REALLY listens....even if I happen to make stuff up:tongue:

[TheGh0st 9]

No you are not alone, my husband and I have different views on how to spend our money.... after all you did get your surgery...But together we have a beautiful baby.....and then I remember that I do love my husband (even if he does get on my last nerve) ... and am very lucky to have them both. But there are times I wish I could take an unexpected trip to Las Vegas with the girls and not have anyone to answer to. Ha Ha Ha...

Edited out phrases about jeep and daughter. Replace with WWI memorabilia and 4 year old son and I could have wrote the post myself. Especially the bit about Vegas. I have SOOOOOO been wanting a weekend in Vegas with a few banded girls without the hubby. Do a little window shopping, clothes shopping, dancing, maybe a day at a spa and take in a show. Of course first I have to find some funds to pay for it and right now money is tight.

My biggest problem with money arguments with my DH right now is that everytime he wants to buy something frivolous and I try to remind him we can't afford it he pulls out the old "We spent 20+K on you, now its my turn." The fact we could barely afford the 20K and are still paying off the loans to prove it, much less an additional 20K for him just doesn't seem to register in his head. Grrrr!!!!

[TheGh0st 9]

Does anyone else ever think life would be better if you were single?

Lately that's all i have been thinking about, I wish i was alone no one to report too, Im so sick and tired of fighting. :mad2:.....

With a 4 year old at home I would never be the one to walk away from my husband (unless he cheated on me or was physically abusive) but in my hard of hearts there have definitely been times over the last year I've wondered if it would be so terrible if he would just decide to leave me. I use to put up with so much crud when I was more overweight and now that I've lost most of the weight I'm standing up for myself more than I ever have and it sure causes some friction to say the least. I know we love each other but sometimes its hard for us to like each other.

[andreerichards1 4]

all i have to say MEN why do we put up with them? makes me wonder sometimes. Aussie husband for sale any takers? Oh his profile should of said dont like cats before we met and got married.

[Blund 0]

Oh gosh! Have to like cats!!! No offence, but I've heard Aussie men can be more on the "macho" side....women are the lesser sex, etc?

I threatened to change teams at my divorce! My 1st husband almost never worked, and spent lots of money. Then after a few years, decided to start dating again. Hmmmmmm....I kinda had a problem with that.

My now #2 DH, is great. I just deleted all of my bragging on him cuz I read it over and thought I was going to barf!

Anyway, good luck.

[MicheleK 8]

My 1st husband and I did NOTHING but argue (he was a bad alcoholic, which didn't help...pretty emotionally abusive). Money was ususally our main topic, he liked to spend LOTS of money we didn't have.

He was the primary breadwinner and didn't like for me to have any control over our money...at all.

My current boyfriend (soon to be DH), works and I stay home (for the past 7months). I handle all the finances and the only question he has for me is: "Do I have enough to buy electronic device (a)?"

We are currently putting money back for co-pays, I told him I would probably have to put money back for PS after I reach goal. He's cool with it, he wants me to be happy.

Talk to your hubby, see if you can get him to understand how important this is for you. Sounds to me like he needs a wake-up call.