Pre-Op Depression???

[Jeen423 0]

Can you tell me if you experienced any emotional issues BEFORE you got the band. I was expecting the "mourning" of my friend (food) after the surgery and trying to prepare for it but got blindsided by the feelings I'm already having. I guess the silliest thing is that I have been fat almost all of my adult life and yet I am crushed at the diagnosis of "morbidly obese". I look at myself in the mirror every day yet having someone tell me that and seeing it on paper is killing me. Wow! I really didn't think I was in denial about it but I have been in a funk and feeling absolutely HUGE since I started this.

Give me your thoughts.

Thanks!!!:blushing:

[nurselori73 0]

It's so funny that this post is here for me to read this morning. I really lost it emotionally last night. I'm going to be banded on the 19th. Up until now I have been so excited about the procedure that I can't think straight, last night (must be the withdrawl from carbs!lol) I got really depressed and anxious. Part of it is what you mentioned in your post. I have been overweight since I was in the second grade. I'm now 34 years old. As a child, my parents' nickname for me was "fat Albert". They used to go around the house saying "hey,hey,hey" like fat albert did in the cartoons. I used to laugh it off even though deep down it really,really hurt. Being chubby has always been part of who i am. It has held me back in alot of ways because of low self-esteem. Many times when I would fail, I would blame it on being fat. As I thought about my upcomming surgery, I think I became emotional because of several things...What if I fail? That thought terrifies me. It would mean that I am not strong enough as a person to overcome food. Something as simple as a cadbury egg has the power to make me feel so crappy about myself. I tell myself that I have the willpower and self-discipline to say no, but when I break down and eat it, I feel like such an incredible failure.

It really hit home when you called food your "friend". It really has been to me also. It has always been there to comfort me when times got rough. It's been there when I celebrated,too. It's where I hide when I don't want to deal with something. Mostly though, it's been my addiction. Sometimes I would even hide a stash somewhere. Seriously, please tell me that I am not the only one out there who had an underwear drawer full of chocolate. So yes, i'm am becomming emotional also as my date draws nearer. I keep reminding myself that if I suceed, the world will be mine. This thing that has occupied the majority of my life will be gone, and I will have won. Once and for all. I have put a list on my refrigerator of things that I can do to occupy myself if I feel myself wanting to go back to food for emotional reasons. We are are going to accomplish this. It will not be easy, in fact i'm quite sure it will be one of the most difficult things in our lives. But, we can do it and the victory will be sweet. Others in our lives probably do not understand the hold that food has had on us. But, we are all here for each other. Together we can do this. So, thank you for your post, and here's to our future and finally becomming who we really are inside.

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

I did. I think, especially for people who have been large their whole life, that we have tried so long to love ourselves despite our weight and the way society treats "fat" people. We have struggled with showing people our worth despite our weight. Now, we have to accept that their is truely something wrong. Something emotional that attaches itself to the physical. I think that is a hard thing to do. Plus you are being forced to look at yourself as obese, morbidly obese, severely obese, super obese. Whatever the case I think that can be very depressing.

We are also breaking off a dear friendship. We have celebrating, cried, intoxicated ourselves with food. At least for me, food has been one of my most loyal friends, and it's like it's moving across the country. Your relationship with food will never be the same.

I think depression is normal, in fact I think every emotion you have pre surgery and post surgery is its on "normal". Just express everything to your doctor.

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

also, now that I think about it. We are almost changing our identity. That is a scary and emotional thing to do too.

[Bea1128 1]

Thank you both for your post. I'm still amazed at how many similar stories I've read since joining this forum. I've always thought I was so alone. I'm not banded yet either. I will set my date on Friday for the next month or so. I haven't had the panic yet, but I think that's because I haven't set my surgery date. food is absolutely my addiction too. It always has been. I didn't have the best childhood and food was always there to make me feel better. I'm so tired of it though. I'm so tired of feeling bad and I'm so tired of the hold it has on me. I'm so ready to break free. It would feel so good just to eat because I need it to live. I'm so ready to be able to move and to have energy. I want to do things with my kids and not be afraid that I won't fit in the movie seats or won't be able to run with them. Also, I was very athletic in high school. I'm dying to play a game of basketball again, even if it's just with my kids in the driveway. I'm tired of walking with my head down because I feel so ashamed of how I look. I know there are going to be hard days when I'll want to drown my stress or sadness in a box of twinkies, but I hope I have the strength to find another outlet for those feelings. I hope to be able to run again and use exercise as my outlet. I've been pushing the thought of WLS aside for years because I didn't want to admit that I couldn't do it myself. Well, you know what? I can't and I need this help. Asking for help has been the hardest thing I have ever done. They say you have to hit rock bottom before you are able to get help for yourself. Maybe this is it for me. I know I've never been more miserable or at least I've never been so tired of being so miserable. I'm making the ones I love around me miserable too. I'm done. We can do this. I know we can. And on those hard days when we think we can't go on, we need to turn to each other for support. Good luck to you all. This is going to be the best thing we have ever done for ourselves!! :tongue:

[cierra'sgrandma 1]

Can you tell me if you experienced any emotional issues BEFORE you got the band. I was expecting the "mourning" of my friend (food) after the surgery and trying to prepare for it but got blindsided by the feelings I'm already having. I guess the silliest thing is that I have been fat almost all of my adult life and yet I am crushed at the diagnosis of "morbidly obese". I look at myself in the mirror every day yet having someone tell me that and seeing it on paper is killing me. Wow! I really didn't think I was in denial about it but I have been in a funk and feeling absolutely HUGE since I started this.

Give me your thoughts.

Thanks!!!:tongue:

I know how you feel. Before I was banded on February 6th, I was in a period of grieving, of mourning for my old friend, food. I don't think too many people understood what I was talking about, or how I felt, but the feelings were there, nonetheless. It was unsettling to label myself as morbidly obese. I knew I was fat, and, like you, I've been fat most of my adult life. On some days, I STILL feel like I'm grieving, or mourning for my "old friend" at times, but it's getting better. I know it's easier-said-than-done, but please try not to beat yourself up about this! Visualize the on-going "end-results", the benefits of being banded; better health, increased energy & stamina, better relationships {?}, a new wardrobe, just to name a few. :tt2:

I can't tell you how I managed to stumble upon LapBandTalk.com--I think it was during a search for related issues--but I am SO glad I did!:biggrin2: I know you'll find a great community of support with these ladies and gentlemen. Many more "bandsters" than I, have been, and are going through, what you're going through. And let me say this--if there's a lapband support group near you, go to it! I wish you peace and success. ----- "I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears." --Psalm 34:4-----

{This inclusion of this verse was meant to encourage and strengthen your heart and spirit. If, in any way, I have offended you, please forgive me!}

[Bea1128 1]

ReadySteadyGo - you are so right. I'm also worried about all of the attention I know we'll get. I've lost weight before and it was kind of hard because people were always asking how much weight I'd lost. It was nice in the beginning, but then it was embarrassing. I got tired of being the girl who lost weight. I just wanted to be me. You know?

[To be free 1]

Amen to all the above!! I just want to be free, free from the hold that food has had on me all of my life. I have lost and gained, lost and gained so many times I can't even count. I exercised five days a week but in the end it was the food that did me in. At least with the lap band (not banded yet) I know that when I lose the weight this time I have a better chance of keeping it off. I just want to live, not to worry about food, not to think about lunch before I am done with Breakfast, dinner before I'm done with lunch. I am excited but sad also, food has always been there for me.....I wonder what I will think about when my thoughts aren't on food. Right now I am going through the "last supper" stage.....didn't know what it was called till I came here. I think it will all become a reality once I get insurance approval.

I cry when I think that for the first time since I can remember I may not have to live for food and use food just to live! Thanks to all the wonderful people on this site...for the first time in my life someone knows what I am going through.....you are all the bomb!!!

[Jeen423 0]

Thanks so much you all! I know I'm going to be able to get a lot of help here. I'm just going to keep on going with this. I feel my life starting to change and it's exciting and terrifying!!!

Wish me luck.