Roommate saw I was on Lapbandtalk.com...Came to my room to tell me it's wrong!

[libra 13]

It's your life and your ultimate happiness. You should tell her that if she's your friend, she should support you no matter what decision you make. You don't need to justify a decision to a friend, they should just understand.

[Bea1128 1]

I'm sorry you encountered this. Just because she is a "nursing student" doesn't mean she knows anything about this. She's giving you her opinion not medical fact. I would be willing to bet anyone looking into the band has researched this more than any medical or nursing student ever could.

Some people can never understand what it's like to do diet after diet and not be able to loose the weight. I hope to start nursing school in the fall myself (still waiting on my acceptance letter) and I'm getting the band!! I guess the thousands of people who post here and have had good results are "unhealthy". It's your decision and if it's right for you, then do it. Don't let her make you feel bad. And until she's walked a mile in your shoes, tell her to mind her own business.

[awomangodcanuse 0]

hello i just wanted to say i know how u feel. i have not been banded yet and people all ova have different opinions. look! its hard being fat, i hate it and until someone has walked a million miles in ur shoes they dont know how y feel! if u believe just PRAY and GOD will give you comfort its a tool and in life many people use tools. i havent told anyone about my plans to have the band. why? because i am the one that has to do this for me, and the fact is some people are so comfortable with us being Fat they dont know how to support us. sometimes just being there is all one needs so i am hear for you! nothing feels better than when u feel good about yourself! God bless

[foxboro jim 0]

Hi

Like most of your replies, my first impulse was to be mad at the bitch because she is wrong. However, I think you have to realize that she was worried about you, probably because of something she read or some thing someone at nursing school (maybe even a doctor) told her. Maybe she's the type of person who sticks her nose into everything and has an opinion on everything but maybe she's like you or me and it must mean a lot for her to actually approach you about lapbanding.

Not knowing her, really, I still would like to suggest that you educate her. Leave lapband materials around, take her to an introductory lecture, or show her this website (although I would avoid showing her this discussion topic, you started off rather strongly)

I had a good friend that I hadn't seen in a while tell me to try some diet instead. I told her that I had done too much now preparing to get the band to turn back. And that was that. We are still friends, I have a lapband ( a week now) and everyday I am more and more happy with it. As of today I am no longer severely obese! and I will very likely never see that weight again.

[HarleyGirl 1]

Tell her to go in to the kitchen and pour herself a nice big cup of "Mind your own business".....perhaps stir in a little "do your research before you spout off"..........

[NanaRenan 0]

Tell her to go in to the kitchen and pour herself a nice big cup of "Mind your own business".....perhaps stir in a little "do your research before you spout off"..........

LOL I like your attitude, Harley Girl!!!!

Seriously, tho'. I had some complications at the hospital from an anesthesiologist who didn't think I had sufficiently met all the requirements for surgery....he kept saying "It's only elective surgery..."

I kept thinking, "NO, you IDIOT! It might be elective for SOME people, but it is a matter of life and death for me. Because whether it's in 5 years or 10 years or 15 years, I WILL be dead before my time and it WILL be related to my obesity! So stop *#&$ing around with me and just do the surgery already!"

Of course, I didn't say it, because I needed to play nice. And eventually we were able to replace him and do the surgery....here I am 7 months later off of EIGHT medications that really hindered my quality of life and 65 lbs lighter!

Ignore her when you can,

Address her coolly and intellectually when you have to.

I would tell her, "Even if I COULD diet down to a goal weight on my own, I'd be smart to have the band placed to prevent regain!"

Hang in there. I have four kids and I wouldn't hesitate to encourage any of them to do the surgery -- in fact, I've been talking to my daughter-in-law about it and she's interested.

[sfeiner 2]

You have to live with this gal for now and she probably was sincerely concerned so give her a break.............tell her that there are many many nurses that are on the board and have had the surgery. That is true. I'm one of them. I believe there are some Drs too. Then go with the educating that someone else suggested. She might be confused about the difference between the by-pass and lap-band. If all that doesn't help, just tell her as nicely as possible that it is your life and your body and you don't want to discuss it anymore.

[Daisalana 33]

40 BMI does qualify, even without any comorbities.

Do it for you, don't explain it to her. If you want to be cordial, politely say you've weighed our options and you think this is what you need to do.

[coltonwade 27]

Honestly I after thinking about this some more myself.

I would tell her since she IS A nursing student to go to one of her professors and ask THEM more about the Lap Band !

Ask her to educate herself a little bit more ( Most nursing students love to learn about new medical issues) about the LBS and then form an opinion !

Tell her she is NOT informed enough now , does not know enough and after she's been properly educated by either yourself or a professor you will listen to what she has to say .

MIndy

[Angelica 1]

You dont have to justify your decisions to her. Stay firm, dont let her spew propaganda at you and try to scare you. You know whats right for you, you know your body better than anyone else.

[hatmama 0]

See if you can get a new roommate. And just WHY was she on the lap-band forum? Sounds sick to me.

[Kelgirl68 0]

You tell that little missy that when she pays for it she can decide what you can and can't do, but until that time it's your business!!! :tongue:

[travellegal 0]

She needs to be very careful what she says. If she keeps this up I would report her to her supervisor of nursing as giving medical advice.

[azchick 0]

I am sorry this person hurt you. You are taking control of your health and need to do what is right for you. There will be people all through our lives that will not agree with what we are doing no matter what it is. I agree with the others she really needs to mind her own business and you don't owe her any explanations. Keep your head up and smile!!:tongue: You are making a very healthy move in your life. Be happy!!!

[SuzanneG 1]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. My sister gave me many many of those same speaches. My daughter is also a nursing student, she will graduate an RN in May. She is naturally very thin and has always been a little hard on me about my weight, that is until she attended the WLS seminar with me. After hearing the presentation and the questions and answers with the doctors, she 100% got behind the idea. Everything she heard was medically sound and made sense to her.

Sounds like your roommate is ignorant of WLS and shouldn't shoot her mouth off about things she doesn't know about. So many nurses like to give advice on things they knew nothing about. My daughter is really careful not to do that and I respect that about her.

By the way, even my sister has gotten in my corner now that she sees how well its working for me.

You don't owe anyone an explaination and since you already stated that you didn't want to defend yourself to her. Say nothing, as a matter of fact if you read many posts on here, you'll see most folks tell only a select few.

The easiest thing to tell folks, if you have to say anything, is that you are getting a hiatal hernia fixed or any other simple adominal procedure you wish and then just let them wonder when you start losing weight and look and feel amazing!

Best of luck to you.