News & vent

[Wheetsin 714]

Ideally the news would wait a while, but I need to vent and can't do one without the other. So my news - I'm knocked up. Despite my irreverence, DH & I are actually quite pleased. So here's my vent.

I have a PPO so no PCP, but I do have a doctor that I think of as my family doctor. She has her issues, but overall she's great. Of course she's on vacation, and I didn't want to wait for the preggo confirmation, so I booked with the doctor in the clinic that had the soonest availability. Some guy I'd never seen before.

We go in there and he won't look me (or DH) in the eye. You know the type, where their conversation is between them and your shoulder, or elbow, or knee, or whatever. So I'm already bugged. That's one of my pet peeves and it makes me terribly paranoid that I've ripped a piece of clothing or spilled something or have a boogey hanging out or something.

The doc asks me if I've had a home pregnancy positive and I told him yes, several (we were stunned with the timing of it and hard a hard time beliving it, to say the least). So he asks, "Then why are you here?" Umm - to start the process? To get answers to my questions, and because I mentioned pregnancy I was told a confirmation test would be needed? To get some OB recommendations that work through your hospital? You tell me Smarty Pants. So I'm that much more bugged.

Then when he tells us the test was positive, instead of just saying that, he says something stupid like "Well the supreme court never agrees with anyone but we're lucky our pregnancy tests aren't senators or from Rhode Island." Whatever. I couldn't even figure out what he was saying, I had to look quizzically over at DH with a nice "WTF?" expression... see that DH was equally confused, and then ask the doctor, "What?" So he says, "Our test confirms prior suspicions. Congratulations, I guess."

I had a ton of questions, and asked him what I should avoid eating, or try to eat more of. I did tell him I was banded, but more around the issue of vitamins/supplements than anything else. My questions were mostly around the current/research validity behind things like - don't eat salmon, don't use artificial sweetners, get extra AOX, avoid honey, etc. Instead of answering my question he starts to have his conversation with my stomach and says, "You know, you really don't need to worry about extra calories yet. Eating for two comes later, you're no where ready for that yet!" Now - if I had asked him, "Should I eat more?" or "I've been eating more, is that normal?" I could maybe (as in - not) see that being an appropriate response. I just kind of looked at him and said "Yeah, I know, but that's not what I asked."

I'm currently sitting around 40 lbs left to lose. Maybe 50 on a bloated day. My BMI is still "obese" but I'm iwithin 15 - 20 lbs of "overweight." Now, I don't want to justify being obese, and I'm not trying to make it sound like I'm blind to the fact that I'm still overweight. I know that medically my weight is still not great. But holy heck. I'm starting to feel like I need to have a shirt printed up that reads, "Two years ago I was almost 400 lbs so give me a F-ing break!" I'm there for a freaking pregnancy, and the guy doesn't answer my questions, but will tell me that I don't need to start eating for two just yet. :sneaky:

Stupid doctor, or stupid man doctor?

[Kat817 19]

I think a general asshole description fits him! No further classification needed!

Now, first things first--Congratulations! I hope this comes to be happy news, and that all goes well for you.

Did you get an OB referral? Do you have friends who might reccommend an OB they liked? My DD did an interview type of appointment, with one she hated, and the next she loved---all in the same office. Lucky for her the right one was on duty when she delivered!!

Hope you find a good Dr. willing to work with you and your band Dr. There are good ones out there, and now you have a place on LBT to compare notes!

Kat

[jlobyxmas 0]

Wheetsin,

First of all...CONGRATULATIONS:Dancing_biggrin::sneaky:!!

Second of all..where can I buy that t-shirt, that's the best. Maybe with one of those little LCD monitors, like on the belts, so that you can update your progress..hehe.

Screw that doc, they don't always give out common sense and a personality with that medical degree:tt2:

[losingjusme 12]

wheetsin,

sent ya a PM, but this is great news (about the news part...)... i still woulda kicked the doc in the shins on the way out.

im so happy for you!

C

[Wheetsin 714]

Thanks Kat, it's very happy news, just unexpected. We'd been trying off and on. Trying, needed gallbladder out, stopped trying. Trying, had back-to-back auto accidents, stopped trying. Trying, vacation came up and didn't want the stress, stopped trying. By "not trying" I mean not actively trying, timing my ovulation, etc -- but still not using birth control (which we haven't used for 3+ years, so one wouldn't be inclined to think anything would be different.) It's a very happy surprise.

I did get an OB referral from the doctor, finally. They work out of a hospital that's about 5 mins from home, which is nice. And about 3 mos ago they just completed construction on a brand new OB wing, which is really nice. The one thing I really don't care for is that unless you're an existing GYN patient, you don't get a primary doctor, you just kind of float through whomever's available whenever you happen to have your appointment. Hopefully they have their shite together and I won't have to tell the whole frickin' story to doctor of the week.

Several of my friends have had babies in the last 2 years, but none of them in my area, so they went to hospitals & clinics closer to them. We did find that one of DH's friends has a good friend that works at the place I was referred to, so we've been able to get some insider info from her and so far all of it is very positive.

I've yet to contact band surgeon. I know I need to, but I also know that his policy is that the band is fine as long as morning sickness isn't an issue (I'm going on 7 weeks in and no problems yet... knock on wood), and that you're able to meet some basic calorie requirement. Considering that I've basically maintained the last year (maybe 15 - 20 lbs down, mostly when I didn't take the time to eat), I think I'll be ok with calories... but I will def. call him to check in.

[snowbird 2]

stupid man, stupid doctor, stupid man doctor.

Congratulations!

[METALBAND 0]

Congratulations!!

A-hole doctor......imagine his social life (or lack of one) with manners like that!!!!

[juliegeraci 7]

Wheetsin, I am so happy for you congrats! Sounds like this guy has terrible bedside manners. I would schedule a follow up visit with the other doctor and let her know the troubles you had. Good luck with your pregnanacy!

[*susan* 1,709]

Wheetsin, congratulations! I hope everything goes wonderfully for you.

Oh, and I definitely agree with everyone, that doctor was a real jack@*$$

[sfeiner 2]

Congratulations. Hope all goes well and you find a DR that isn't a total a$$.

[Alexandra 55]

CONGRATULATIONS, WHEETSIN!!! Oh, wow, are you in for a treat. :drool: I am so, so happy for you and your DH. :sneaky:

I remember at my first prenatal visit having the same feeling you did about the doctor's casual attitude to all my questions! It's hard to remember that for them, this is the oldest of old-hat business. As a first-time mommy every single thing is brand new and there aren't enough answers in the world to make it all seem easy and worry-free. One thing I can tell you that helped me IMMENSELY was to hire a doula. Tell me if you want to know more.

Oooh, I'm so excited for you, Wheet! (And maybe a wee bit jealous.) Congratulations!! :biggrin2::biggrin2::biggrin2::biggrin2:

[babygrl1234 6]

COngrats!!!!

Sorry about having to deal with the asshat.

[Angie4b1g 1]

Congratulations to you! How exciting!!

Sorry that doctor was such a twat.

[Wheetsin 714]

It's hard to remember that for them, this is the oldest of old-hat business. As a first-time mommy every single thing is brand new and there aren't enough answers in the world to make it all seem easy and worry-free.

You know, I'm trying to remind myself of that constantly. And for a while I get immersed into the "me"-ness of it, and then I come up for air and realize that billions and billions of people have done this before me. It's one of those "everyday" things for everyone else, that for you is the absolute center of your life.

(That's part of why I didn't want to be a clinician -- same story over and over and over, and every single one of those people thinks they're the only one. I didn't think my patience would last long with that.)

One of the really nice things about it is that we found out while the in-laws were still visiting. They live in Europe. So we had the opportunity to tell both parents, in-person, at the same time. We didn't think that would ever happen.

And thanks for all the joy. Am thrilled and terrified at the same time. And I'd be way more concerned if I weren't. :blushing:

[anonemouse 1]

Congrats, Wheetsin! :biggrin2: Awesome news! And yes, STUPID doctor. :blushing: