List your lapband confessions here.

[JaimeSTL 4]

I love how people who are a week out of surgery are so perfect. Wait until you are in bandster hell before you judge.

Keep in mind that all doctor are different. I'm not going to condone someone eating things they shouldn't be, but some people go home from the hospital eating solids while others are on liquids for weeks.

[JustinsMama 1]

Dude or Dudette - whatever you are, this person isn't in Bandster Hell they were 12 f_ckin' days out of surgery. I know that in 4 days (my day 12), I'm not going to be scarfin' down mexican food like fajitas, rice and Beans and chili rellenos, salad, dessert - oh yeah and 3 Fiber Cookies and risk blowing my stitches apart.

Hell no, I'm not perfect and whose to say what I'll be doing say 6 weeks from now, but I sure as hell ain't stupid enough to eat that crap less than two weeks out from surgery.

You sound like you're pissed off at the world and looking for a fight so please feel free to PM if you've got anything further to say.

[Operagal 0]

Yeah pretty awful no? It's bad stuff and I'm not proud of it. Living in denial doesn't make for great decisions. I'm back on track - now that I GET IT. I've often wondered how "other" addicts can mistreat themselves with such abandon. Well, I get it now. Thanks for the straight talk. I wish I had gotten it prior to banding.

[JaimeSTL 4]

Dude or Dudette - whatever you are, this person isn't in Bandster Hell they were 12 f_ckin' days out of surgery. I know that in 4 days (my day 12), I'm not going to be scarfin' down mexican food like fajitas, rice and Beans and chili rellenos, salad, dessert - oh yeah and 3 Fiber Cookies and risk blowing my stitches apart.

Hell no, I'm not perfect and whose to say what I'll be doing say 6 weeks from now, but I sure as hell ain't stupid enough to eat that crap less than two weeks out from surgery.

You sound like you're pissed off at the world and looking for a fight so please feel free to PM if you've got anything further to say.

I'm pissed off at the world because I'm tired of holier than thou posters who go around to forums they aren't even a part of and bash people? Ok then. Maybe you should look in the mirror.

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Dude or Dudette - whatever you are, this person isn't in Bandster Hell they were 12 f_ckin' days out of surgery. I know that in 4 days (my day 12), I'm not going to be scarfin' down mexican food like fajitas, rice and Beans and chili rellenos, salad, dessert - oh yeah and 3 fiber Cookies and risk blowing my stitches apart.

Hell no, I'm not perfect and whose to say what I'll be doing say 6 weeks from now, but I sure as hell ain't stupid enough to eat that crap less than two weeks out from surgery.

You sound like you're pissed off at the world and looking for a fight so please feel free to PM if you've got anything further to say.

This isn't the right forum. We don't judge here, we advise and support. You don't know what you will be doing in four days (or four weeks), but I hope that you do well, but don't bring that here please. Jamie wasn't looking for a "fight" she was responding to your judgement and what could be perceived as self-rightousness. If you were a year out I would still think you are too harsh, but atleast you would have the experience to stand behind.

I don't think your intentions at first were to be rude, but please don't call people stupid on this particular section of lbt.

This is a support group, the Victorious Valentines, this is not the main board. Everyone here treats are fellow VV's with an open ear, supportive words, and carefully worded advice. Anyone is welcome to respond as long as they keep it civil and supportive. Thanks.

Edited May 20, 2008 by ReadySteadyGo
adding.

[Ezma 2]

Ready, you're the best. And Jaime, so are you. You guys have always been so supportive of everyone. I sat there last night for about an hour trying to find the right words for a response to this. Leave it to our author to find all the right ones. VVs are supportive not judgemental and that was, I think, the problem most of us had with the post. I really don't even think that the poster knew she came of as a know-it-all, do-no-wrong, harsh bitch though I did see she's apologized serveral times for "sounding like a bitch". Really glad it seems to have been dropped though.

[Operagal 0]

Thank you so much Ready and so many others for your kind words. I am sorry to have opened a can of worms. (Yes, it was me who had the MAJOR post-op screw up). Please know I wasn't looking for approval for my actions but a way to confess and move on - after all it was a thread for confessons, no? I absolutely was aware of the stupidity and self destructiveness of my actions but also knew that a lifetime of hiding had not served me well either. While I DID NOT continue to eat and hide over the "stupid" response (as would be my normal course of action), it played on my brain as a contination of the same old record. The cycle of beating myself up and self abuse comes easily enough after years of practice. Sometimes this kind of thinking makes me feel like a freak and alone - but realistically I know this is not true. I no longer want to wallow in my errors.

Perhaps I sounded non-chalant in my confession? If I did, it was the modus operandi of a fat-jolly person dusguising their pain and shame. I'm working on that too. Ironically and stupidly, I often found myself angry at fat people - especially if I happened to be on my latest weight loss roll: HOW COULD THEY? CAN'T THEY SEE WHAT THEY'RE DOING TO THEMSELVES? GROSS. WHY DON'T THEY JUST STOP? I GUESS THEY JUST DON'T CARE. etc etc. Of course, at my first screw up, all my comments boomeranged right back to myself. But until then, I was cured, converted, no longer a member of their fat club. Ha Ha.

Ready/ Barbara, I wanted you to know that I have placed your message on "stinky thinking" on my desk top so that I could read it every day. Here it is:

That's what I call "stinky thinking" because the truth is that we are NOT deprived. We are finally learning to eat healthy. Part of the recovery is the liquid diet and then the mushies. This is something you signed up for when you got the band. Yes, it's hard and feels like s**t sometimes, but then you have to decide whether or not you're doing this to become healthy and strong.

The band is a tool. If a tool isn't used right it can hurt you. You have to go into this knowing that you WILL NOT CHEAT... cheating and self abuse is how we all got fat in the first place.

I'm having a hard time of it too, but I'm going to my support meetings, I'm going inside myself to review my reasons for having this surgery, I'm calling friends on the phone. For me, it's really easy... my body is hungry, but my body is not my friend right now... my brain and my heart are my friends - I love myself enough - finally and for the first time in my life - to do exactly what my doc says to do.

If you ate a little bit off your list, or choose high-cal vs. low cal, you must forgive yourself for that and move on, determined to do better next time.

All in all, I'm back on track and recommitted to a healthy lifestyle and "head" style. So as they say, "It's all good."

THANK YOU!

[Ezma 2]

:wink2::biggrin2::hand::biggrin2::ohmy::biggrin:

Way to go! Beating ourselves up over our mistakes is a quick formula for failure.

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Totally Ezma.

Operagal- You were weak. Your owning it. Don't do it again. Your human and you will fall down and thats okay, just get back up and keep going. Noone is perfect here obviously because we have a 14 pages of confessions.

Edited May 20, 2008 by ReadySteadyGo
additon of names

[Operagal 0]

Yeah! Thanks again.

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

Okay guys - I'm guilty. I'm six weeks post op and this past week I've been in band hell. I've graduated from mushies to soft foods and found myself snacking and eating more than I should. My first fill is on Thursday (5/22) and I can't wait! I hope I get some restriction because right now I have zilch. I have literally been "perfect" in following the guidelines - Protein, Fruits/Veggies, All the rest. Even resisted bread and sodas (my lifes weakness). Up until this week that is...

Where has my self control gone? Weeks 1-5 - control, Week 6 - no control. I've had foods I haven't eaten since three weeks pre-band. What the heck fire is wrong with me? I know better!

I'm done beating myself up now. I'm going to pick myself up and dust off. Tomorrow is a new day!

[coolcrystal 1]

Okay guys - I'm guilty. I'm six weeks post op and this past week I've been in band hell. I've graduated from mushies to soft foods and found myself snacking and eating more than I should. My first fill is on Thursday (5/22) and I can't wait! I hope I get some restriction because right now I have zilch. I have literally been "perfect" in following the guidelines - Protein, Fruits/Veggies, All the rest. Even resisted bread and sodas (my lifes weakness). Up until this week that is...

Where has my self control gone? Weeks 1-5 - control, Week 6 - no control. I've had foods I haven't eaten since three weeks pre-band. What the heck fire is wrong with me? I know better!

I'm done beating myself up now. I'm going to pick myself up and dust off. Tomorrow is a new day!

Well, what's wrong is that you just don't have a fill yet. LOL. Once you get that fill and have restriction you'll stop having the munchies and stuff... it will come. I had some restriction after my first fill, but it really took till my 3rd fill until I really had it. Good luck on your fill for Thursday!

[Queen of Hearts 2]

This isn't the right forum. We don't judge here, we advise and support. You don't know what you will be doing in four days (or four weeks), but I hope that you do well, but don't bring that here please. Jamie wasn't looking for a "fight" she was responding to your judgement and what could be perceived as self-rightousness. If you were a year out I would still think you are too harsh, but atleast you would have the experience to stand behind.

I don't think your intentions at first were to be rude, but please don't call people stupid on this particular section of lbt.

This is a support group, the Victorious Valentines, this is not the main board. Everyone here treats are fellow VV's with an open ear, supportive words, and carefully worded advice. Anyone is welcome to respond as long as they keep it civil and supportive. Thanks.

RSG! Well done dear! I agree wholeheartedly with these words and was really distressed when I read the dilemma operagal was going through.

Operagal..we are all only human. We can forgive and press on and it sounds like you are..kudos for that!!

Ezma Right on!! You took the words right out of my mouth!

JaimeSTL..come to the rescue for me if I end up being bad...I'll need your support!!

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

Thanks CC - I think I needed to hear that. I'm getting nervous about my first fill, but am so looking forward to it. Kinda like having a baby for the first time (though nearly not as extreme). I know I've got to do it, am scared and excited all at the same time. I can't find my port - kinda scary! I'm hoping it isn't hiding too bad. It is in my left breast shoulder area - I hope the doc didn't put it too low. I'd be so upset if I had to get it repositioned.

[coolcrystal 1]

Thanks CC - I think I needed to hear that. I'm getting nervous about my first fill, but am so looking forward to it. Kinda like having a baby for the first time (though nearly not as extreme). I know I've got to do it, am scared and excited all at the same time. I can't find my port - kinda scary! I'm hoping it isn't hiding too bad. It is in my left breast shoulder area - I hope the doc didn't put it too low. I'd be so upset if I had to get it repositioned.

Don't be nervous... actually I was scared to death on my first fill and when she was done I was like, "that's it?" . I didn't get the numbing shot, as I heard that hurts worse than the actual fill. But, everybody is different. I have a bigger friend who got banded and she was probably 70 pounds heavier than me and on her first fill they kept sticking her cuz they couldn't find her port it was just SO deep... but, I couldn't feel mine either and my fill lady got it on the first hit easily... It will feel so funny though the first time.. like a swoosh inside and I had like a little burp that I did.. it was weird, but not painful at all. Good luck!!