Feeling like a failure...

Ang1982 · March 5, 2008

Guys, I don't know what to tell you - I know I am thick in the middle of this Bandster Hell period and that it is definitely affecting my emotions but I cannot help but feel like I'm a failure or that I am going to be a failure with this band.

I do not want to be overweight anymore and I know that it will take some hard work and determination to get there and this band is supposed to be my crutch to help me along the way... but this is what scares me and worries me that I may not do it:

1) I hate cooking, not just dislike it, hate it. How am I supposed to make decent and healthy meals when I hate cooking at all.

2) While I followed my post-op diet to a T now that I am out of the post op diet phase with no restriction what so ever I find myself eating my old ways (not as much before but still not the greatest food choices) again and struggling with that. What if I can't break this bad choices habit?

3) Exercise is ... well I'm sure I don't need to explain that one. I am forcing myself back to Curves next week (this week I am spending every spare moment packing my house - moving on Saturday).

And I have some kind of strange soreness in my belly on the left side today which is driving me crazy. Wow I am such a whiner. :thumbup:

I am so scared that I will fail.

WASaBubbleButt · March 5, 2008

Guys, I don't know what to tell you - I know I am thick in the middle of this Bandster Hell period and that it is definitely affecting my emotions but I cannot help but feel like I'm a failure or that I am going to be a failure with this band.
I do not want to be overweight anymore and I know that it will take some hard work and determination to get there and this band is supposed to be my crutch to help me along the way... but this is what scares me and worries me that I may not do it:

1) I hate cooking, not just dislike it, hate it. How am I supposed to make decent and healthy meals when I hate cooking at all.

2) While I followed my post-op diet to a T now that I am out of the post op diet phase with no restriction what so ever I find myself eating my old ways (not as much before but still not the greatest food choices) again and struggling with that. What if I can't break this bad choices habit?

3) Exercise is ... well I'm sure I don't need to explain that one. I am forcing myself back to Curves next week (this week I am spending every spare moment packing my house - moving on Saturday).

And I have some kind of strange soreness in my belly on the left side today which is driving me crazy. Wow I am such a whiner. :thumbup:

I am so scared that I will fail.

Isn't working with a band that isn't working yet kinda like driving an expensive car with flat tires? If your band isn't working yet due to no fill, why would you think it should work? ;o)

I hate cooking too. I'm horrible at it as well. My dog will eat Mickey D burgers but won't touch a burger if I cook it.

I buy roasted chickens, I'm learning to use tofu, I can make tuna salad, veggie salads, etc. One does not have to be a great cook to make healthy food.< /p>

Daisalana · March 5, 2008

That's true, depending on your income and time.. the grocery stores have some good pre-made dinners (and some bad ones of course). But the whole roasted chickens are there, blah blah.

I love cooking, I never got into it till banding like I am now, but I cook almost 7 days a week. Is there a way to make it fun for you? If not, have someone you know make you stuff you can freeze portions of(chili, Soups, meatloaf,etc.) and just reheat in the oven or even microwave.

I told you before, don't be discouraged, it's a normal cycle, and in a few months you'll forget all about this bandster hell :thumbdown:

Pix · March 5, 2008

My suggestion, take a free cooking class at the local college if it is possible.

I love to cook, I was a assistant chef (wanted executive damnit) for the longest time... My best advice, start cooking with small things that seem really easy and really good. (I can recommend some cook books of you want) Slow cooker meals are a BIG hit, and with the right recipes totally amazingly healthy.

But if it is still not your bag of games, get the pre cooked lean meals in the freezer section of your grocery store. Hey they are there for a reason right? LOL (Personally I love LOVE the ones in the green box (damn can't remember the name) they are to die for!!

sfeiner · March 5, 2008

I think .u are feeling like everyone in bandster hell feels at times. I think some exercise might cheer you up. I hate to cook too. What did you do before banding? Maybe you could eat frozen weight watcher or some thing simular for one meal. It seems most people have one meal of snacky things like string cheese and fruit or cottage cheese and fruit or Breakfast Cereal. There are so many things you don't have to cook. Maybe someone could start a "I hate to cook thread" and we could tell what we eat.

mamato3 · March 5, 2008

Sorry to hear that you are feeling down lately. I do not have any miraculous advice for you because I am sort of right there with you. I had my first fill last week but still really dont feel any restriction. I'm wanting to schedule my second, but the doctor's office is not calling me back!! grr!!! This waiting for restriction thing is really hard. We have to rely on a whole bunch of will power and it is easy to feel like we just might fail.

SOOOO, this is why I posted. You have such a wonderful attitude. You are always upbeat and jumping in to give much needed hugs when people are having a bad day. You always have nice, upbeat things to say to others. I think you need to take a deep breath and read some of the wonderful things you say to others. Then, take your own advice :thumbdown:

This is a really hard thing we are doing here. If it was easy, none of us would be here. You are doing great. Keep your chin up and remember we are all here to listen and give you those kind and caring hugs right back.

Good luck at Curves next week and I hope your move goes well.

Daisalana · March 5, 2008

Green boxes are Healthy Choice I think. If it's the same as my grocery store. I've found the Healthy Choice to have way too much food for me now. Pre-band, I loved em, they did taste darn good!!

---

More importantly. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FAIL. Be patient right now, I know (I do!!) it's hard. But keep thinking about how "This will pass". It's all I could hold onto. I had to hold onto it for 5 months!

jen1957har · March 5, 2008

this sounds like i wrote it. i'm going thru the same thing. my weight is coming off so slowly. i've had 3 fills so far with little restriction. i'm sick of it. i drive 3 hrs to get a fill. i go back tomorrow and i'm going to tell them to filler up. for 20 grand i'm ready for this to kick in.

Daisalana · March 5, 2008

this sounds like i wrote it. i'm going thru the same thing. my weight is coming off so slowly. i've had 3 fills so far with little restriction. i'm sick of it. i drive 3 hrs to get a fill. i go back tomorrow and i'm going to tell them to filler up. for 20 grand i'm ready for this to kick in.

I know nothing we say will make you feel better now, so I'm at a loss. I wish I could show you that it's going to get better. :thumbdown:

But just hang in there, both of you, and anyone else in bandster hell. This is going to end up being a small portion of your band journey.. think of it like your pre-op diet. It sucked, but you finally get over it, and you move onto the next thing.. do you worry about the pre-op diet anymore? But it was hell wasn't it? :rolleyes:

OH Juli · March 5, 2008

Ang,

Hang in there, you'll be out of hell shortly.

Why do you hate cooking? Did you burn down the house the first time you tried? That's not a judgemental thing. I hate gardening and will kill plants just to be spiteful...so I get it. But a girl's go to eat...

The frozen meals are a good idea. Get some cups of applesauce, yogurt and things that don't need cooking. tuna salad is as easy as mayo and canned tuna or as fancy as toss in 10 more things.

Just because your enthusiasm is waining a bit doesn't mean you're going to fail. It just means you're dealing with the reality of a different life. But girl that's what we/you want!

Peace,

J

make33 · March 5, 2008

There are many many times when I feel like this is a real test of our own will power--but with the third fill I got, I finally got real restriction for two weeks. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel, Ang--I KNOW it's there for us!

I'm sure with the move coming up on Saturday, your mind is certainly on more than "what am I going to cook for dinner?!" Moving is your main priority right now (and by the by, your pain on the left hand side could be your port--have you been packing and lifting boxes??? Your port is sewn into the abdominal muscles and they could be getting sore from the workout you're giving them!)

I wouldn't be too concerned about the cooking--there are tons we can eat that don't require cooking (yogurt, cottage cheese, cheese) and I find that Michelina's makes a great little microwave meal that done in a jiffy!! Life is too short and there are many many food options, m'dear!! :thumbdown:

PS Just make sure you get back to Curves next week!!!

shortgal · March 5, 2008

If you dont have good restriction yet, it's hard, but good restriction won;t change that you hate to cook.

I'm lucky my husband cooks, but If he's working or traveling. I eat lean cuisines or other frozen dinners. How about a George Forman grill machine, it makes grilling chicken a breeze. Roasted chicken at the supermarket? Could you cook once or twice a week and then rely on frozen things ( South Beach) or canned tuna on a pita or a bowl of Cereal for dinner? Kashi Go lean or Special K high Protein. One hour later drink a glass of Isopure Clear for 20 extra gms of Protein.< /p>

Make a small Turkey meatloaf, have it for dinner one night and lunch the next day. Marinate a few shrimp or a piece of salmon and throw them on the George Forman grill.

Veggies are the easiest. Supplement a frozen dinner by opening a can of green Beans. Like Chili? many people say Wendy's is good. Just Drive thru.

I'm three months out and haven't exercised yet. I will as soon as the weather is better.

You need restriction and everything will fall into place. Just hang on until then.

Ang1982 · March 5, 2008

Thanks you guys, for everything. You are always so amazing and I know you are right!

I just need to give my head a shake and not fret so much as it's all just part of the journey. I KNOW I can do this I just need to remember to tell myself that and this is just a tiny hiccup in a bit journey. I am going to tell my doctor how I've been struggling on my fill appt on Monday and ask for an aggressive fill.

As for why I hate cooking - I honestly don't know, never burned anything or anyone lol. Don't get me wrong I can cook and food is good and edible when I do I just prefer not to. It would be so much easier if I was only cooking for myself as opposed to cooking for me and the fiance but we'll figure something out. I am going to look into some of those Healthy Choice meals for the remainder of this week as I packed all of my kitchen last night haha, all I have out is plastic cups, paper plates and plastic utensils. Need some microwavable goodness.

I think that my side pain was a gas bubble of sorts roaming around in there as it seems to be gone now. My surgeon actually doesn't sew the port into place it just kinda "free roams" that way if needed they can try to manipulate it if it flips to get it back in place rather than perform surgery.

On a side note, I've noticed somewhere else someone put in a post the cost of roasted chicken from a grocery store and it was only like a couple dollars... are we west coast canadian's getting screwed or what? To buy a roasted chicken from the store its $7.

THANKS AGAIN YOU GUYS!! You are so right, this is all just a phase and it too shall pass!

shortgal · March 5, 2008

Well $7 isn't cheap, but no oven turned on, no time spent preparing etc.

And if you use light mayo and sparingly, you could make chicken salad for lunch the following day.

Think about it, how many of us ever complained about the price of ice cream or chips or Cookies or a drink at the bar or dessert at the restaurant? And how much is a starbucks coffee?

Good healthy food is worth it. If you want someone else to do the work cooking it, we gotta pay the piper!

I cooked when my kids were little becasue it was my job to keep them alive, but that's the only reason I did it. Later, my husband had a different job and starting cooking and he is MUCH better at it and actually enjoys it. Crazy, huh?

Oh and I love gardening! Different strokes for different folks!

Daisalana · March 5, 2008

That's the spirit girl :thumbdown:

And you know you can PM me if you ever want to vent! I'll set you straight :bored:

SmartOnes also has some delicious foods & TREATS. They're good portioned and something about them is a 'smart' choice, I don't remember why.. maybe smart cause they taste good :rolleyes:

The odd pains come and go throughout this journey too. Sometimes I get port aches, or what I can only figure is the tubing touching some nerves on my insides. Tylenol! Gas-X! Walk it off, etc.